translation into English: text 11/03 (Patrick)

Dear teachers,

Here is a translation I made. Would you please correct it for me?

- Comment va Patrick? demanda Catherine. Je ne l’ai pas vu depuis des semaines.
- Moi non plus. Mais il va bien, répondit Thomas. Il m’a téléphoné ce matin pour me dire qu’il allait partir travailler en Irlande dès qu’il aurait fini ses examens.
- Vraiment? Mais … il n’est jamais allé à l’étranger, et je ne me rappelle pas l’avoir entendu parler de projets aussi hardis. Et en plus il est nul en anglais!
- Il n’est pas nécessaire de mettre tout le monde au courant de ce qu’on a envie de faire. Il y a des tas de gens qui rêvent bruyamment d’accomplir de grandes choses et ne sortent jamais de chez eux. Quant à son niveau d’anglais, un séjour de deux mois ne peut que l’améliorer.
- Tu as certainement raison. Mais je suis déçue. On se connaît depuis si longtemps, lui et moi… il aurait du m’en parler. Moi aussi j’aimerais beaucoup aller travailler en Irlande. Il aurait pu me donner des renseignements ou des conseils.
- Il y a peut-être pensé. Mais après tout, tu es assez grande pour prendre tes décisions toute seule, non? Allons, ne sois pas triste, il se peut qu’il t’appelle ce soir.
- Si c’est dans ses intentions, il ferait mieux de se dépêcher parce que je pars aux Etats Unis ans trois jours. J’ai trouvé un travail de serveuse dans un restaurant japonais à Manhattan. Et toi, tu fais quoi cet été?

“How is Patrick?” Catherine asked. I have not seen him for weeks.
“Neither have I. But he is fine, Thomas answered. He gave me a call/rang me this morning to tell me he was going to work in Ireland, as soon as his exams were over.”
“Really? But... he has never been abroad and I can't remember hearing him talk about such bold projects. Moreover, he is terrible/hopeless at English / his English is so poor!”
“It's not necessary to inform / You needn’t tell everybody about what you want to do / feel like doing. A lot of people dream aloud (?) about accomplishing great things and they never leave their homes / get out of their houses. As far as his English is concerned, a two-month stay can only improve it.”
“You're certainly right but I'm disappointed. The two / Both of us have known each other for such a long time... He could have told me about his plan. I would love to work in Ireland, too. He could have given me some information or advice.”
“Maybe he has thought about it. But after all, you are mature/old enough to make your own decisions, aren't you? Come on! Don't be sad. He may call you tonight.
“If he wants to do so / If he intends to do so, he had better hurry (up) because I'm leaving for the United States in three days. I have found a job as a waitress in a Japanese restaurant in Manhattan. And you? What are you doing this summer?” 

Thank you for your help.

Hela

Thank you Mr Pedantic.

So is this the translation you like .

“How is Patrick?” Catherine asked. “I haven’t seen him for weeks.”

“Neither have I. But he is fine,” Thomas answered. “He called me this morning to tell me he was going to work in Ireland, as soon as he'd finished his exams.”

“Really? But... he has never been abroad and I don't remember ever hearing him talk about anything as adventurous as that. And his English is hopeless!”

“You don't have to tell everyone what you want to do all the time. 

There are lots of people who have grandiose ideas about doing great things and never leave home. As far as his English is concerned, a two-month stay can only improve it.”
 “You're right, of course. But I'm still a bit disappointed. We've known each other such a long time, him and me. He could have told him about it. I would love to work in Ireland, too. He could have given me some information or advice.”
“Maybe he has thought about it. But after all, you are big enough to make your own decisions, aren't you? Come on, cheer up! Maybe he'll call you tonight.”

“If that's the case, he had better hurry (up) because I'm leaving for the United States in three days. I have found a job as a waitress in a Japanese restaurant in Manhattan. And you? What are you doing this summer?”
Kindest regards

PS: If you have time would you please have a look at this post: "Translation into English: Use of modals", post 345781 sent on 04/11/2007.

1) Il m’a téléphoné ce matin pour me dire qu’il allait partir travailler en Irlande dès qu’il aurait fini ses examens.

He called me this morning to tell me he was going to work in Ireland / he was leaving for Ireland for work as soon as his exams he'd finished his exams / his exams were over.

Hello Hela, yes, it's nice to see you too! I'm not posting here much at the moment, because my pc is defective; but I hope to be re-kitted-out shortly...

Hela

Actually I wrote "he was leaving for Ireland for work", is it wrong too?

I think that would be ok too.

Hela

2) Do you accept
a) "he was going to work in Ireland as soon as
- his exams were [had been = wrong?] over
- he finished / had finished his exams

Yes, all fine except "had been".

Hela

b) "he was goint to work in Ireland right after
- he finished / had finished his exams
- he would finish / would have finished (?) his exams
- his exams would be / would have been (?) over"

- Is it also possible to use the present, even though it's reported speech, since the period referred to has not happened yet?

Only the first two versions. The present would be fine.

Hela

a) "he called me to say that he is going to Ireland  as soon as
his exams are / have been (?) over  OR  he finishes / has finished (?) his exams

All ok except "have been over".

Hela

b) "he called me to say that he is going to Ireland right after
- he finishes / has finished his exams
- his exams will be over 
- he will finish / will have finished his exams"

Only the first two.

Hela

3) Je ne me rappelles pas l'avoir entendu dire...
Are hearing and having heard both possible here? What's the nuance betwenn them?
"I don' / can't remember ever hearing / having heard (?) him talk about such daring plans"

I think it's a difference in focus: "hearing" is more immediate, "having heard" more remote. But I don't think it's a significant difference, for most users.

Hela

) Moi aussi j'aimerais beaucoup aller travailler en Irlande.
Which tenses should be used here, please?
a) I would quite / really like to work in Ireland as well (possible ?)
b) I wish I could work / I wish I worked in Ireland
c) I wish I went (?) to Ireland to work as well / too.

Not "quite"; and I would change it to "go to work in Ireland"; and for me, b) and c) wouldn't quite capture the original. (Expression of a wish, rather than a desire.)

Hela

5) Is this use of pronoun acceptable ?
"One doesn't want to let everybody know what they want to do" ? Is "they" ambiguous or incoherent here, or is it all right ?

If "they" refers to "one", it's a little unusual; I would repeat "one".

Hela

) On se connaît depuis si longtemps, lui et moi
Even though it is not necessary to translate "lui et moi" in English would you say:
"It has been a such a long time since we have known one another, he and I [and not "him/he and me" ?

Not "it has been a such a long time"; perhaps "We have known each other for such a long time". If you had to translate "lui et moi", "he and I" would best suit the register.

Hela

7) Il n'est pas nécessaire de mettre tout le monde au courant de ce qu'on a envie de faire. Il y a des tas de gens qui rêvent bruyamment d'accomplir de grandes choses et ne sortent jamais de chez eux. Quant à son niveau d'anglais, un séjour de deux mois ne peut que l'améliorer.

a) Would you translate this passage this way?

"you don't have to / you needn’t / there's no need to tell everyone what you’re up to / want to do / feel like doing all the time. Lots of people dream aloud (?) about accomplishing / achieving (?) great things they're going to do and then never give it a try (?) / make it real (?). As for his English, a two-month stay / sojourn (?) in England can but / just (?) improve it.

That's a bit too difficult to answer, in that form – there are so many permutations! 

Hela

b) What you meant by the following:

My idea would be as yours, except:

"...to keep everyone posted...have grandiose ideas about accomplishing great things but never leave home...can only improve it."

is that you would not use "to keep everyone posted", "have grandiose ideas..." and "can only improve it" ?

Sorry, I meant I would use those phrases instead, in the relevant parts.

Hela

What's the meaning of "to harp on about something" then? How would you use it?

If I say that you're harping on about X, I mean that you are obsessively talking about X, in an irritating and excessive way. (It sounds quite tetchy.)

Have a good Wednesday!

MrP