Hi BW2/3,
The goal of an editor is to correct and clarify, not to change the structure and meaning so much that the original writer's "essense" is removed. Let's take these one at a time:
- I am truly sorry what I'd written to you a compassion love letter a
couple years ago. [Edit to: "I'm truly sorry about what I wrote to you in my compassionate love letter of several years ago." Note that I'm always going to use contractions (e.g., I'm) to be consistent throughout the paragraph.]
- It was madness. [Good sentence. Short and insightful.]
- I didn't even know you much. [Edit to: "I didn't even know you very well."]
- I guess
I did you injustice. [Edit to: "I guess I didn't do you justice." (OR) "I guess I did you an injustice." depending on what you truly mean.]
- I have been deeply remorseful since then. [Edit to: "I've been deeply remorseful since then."]
- I wish
that you knew how much I've suffered so you can pity me. [Edit to: "I wish you knew how much I've suffered -- so you can pity me." Adding the dash provides dramatic effect.]
- The pain is
unbearable sometimes although it was not in physical. [Edit to: "Sometimes the pain is unbearable." You don't need to include the rest about "physical" pain because it's assumed the reader knows that it's all mental anguish via the use of the words "remorseful" and "pity" before.]
- I've tried not to
think about it if necessary but the dreadful memories come again and
again. [Edit to: "I've tried not to think about it, but the dreadful memories come back again and again.]
- It is truly a punishment that fit the bad deed. [Edit to: It's truly a punishment that fits the deed." The phrase is "fit the deed," so to insert the word "bad" wouldn't ring true in the ears of an English-speaker.]
- No matter how
repentance I am, I cannot be forgiven. [Edit to: "No matter how repentant I am, I can't be forgiven." Note the correct use of the word "repentant".]
- It was too late that I was lead
into temptation and could not be gone back. [Edit to: It's too late: I was led into temptation and I can't go back." Because you're now in the present tense -- I can't be forgiven -- this last train of thought should be in the present tense too, so that's why I phrase it the way I do.]
And here are my suggested edits as a full paragraph:I'm truly sorry about what I wrote to you in my compassionate love letter of several years ago. It was madness. I didn't even know you very well. I guess I did you an injustice. I've been deeply remorseful since then. I wish you knew how much I've suffered -- so you can pity me. Sometimes the pain is unbearable. I've tried not to think about it, but the dreadful memories come back again and again. It's truly
a punishment that fits the deed. No matter how repentant I am, I can't be forgiven. It's too late: I was led into temptation and I can't go back.