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I'm trying to write somekind of novel - "jobless"

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Hampeh  #458430  Sun, 30 Dec 07 10:12 AM

Hi all, I’m trying to write something. If you think I’m good, maybe I should consider myself to write a novel. Big Smile [:D]

I’m sure there are a lot of grammatical errors. So hopefully nice guys here can help me to improve it. Thanks in advance.

I’m jobless.

I don’t know what else to do. My girlfriend just left me, I don’t have money but I have lot of debts to pay, and I don’t have job. Actually I have but since my employer didn’t pay my salary for 3 months, so I just consider myself as a jobless. Finding a job seems like a hard stuff nowadays. I sent a lot of email and broadcast my resume everywhere but the response was not as expected.

Since past 5 years, after graduate from the university, I study a lot of computer stuff. Read a lot of books, manuals, articles etc. sometimes, I’m really tired being in this industry. I.T. industries because you need to know more, to learn new things everyday to make sure you are good enough and that’s the reason why the employer want keep you in the company.

  
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Mister Micawber  #458439  Sun, 30 Dec 07 10:33 AM

I don't think you're ready to start that novel yet.

  
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Hampeh  #458459  Sun, 30 Dec 07 11:22 AM

Hehe…of course I know that Smile [:)]. I still need to learn more from you guys. mmm, any correction for that because i don't think it is perfect.

Actually, I’m trying to practice writing but I’m not sure whether it is correct or not. So I think here is the best place to check it.

  
Mister Micawber  #458463  Sun, 30 Dec 07 11:58 AM

I've underlined some problem areas:

I’m jobless.

I don’t know what else to do. My girlfriend just left me, I don’t have money but I have lot of debts to pay, and I don’t have job. Actually I have but since my employer didn’t pay my salary for 3 months, so I just consider myself as a jobless. Finding a job seems like a hard stuff nowadays. I sent a lot of email and broadcast my resume everywhere but the response was not as expected.

Since past 5 years, after graduate from the university, I study a lot of computer stuff. Read a lot of books, manuals, articles etc. sometimes, I’m really tired being in this industry. I.T. industries because you need to know more, to learn new things everyday to make sure you are good enough and that’s the reason why the employer want keep you in the company.



  
Hampeh  #458482  Sun, 30 Dec 07 12:25 PM
Thanks for your prompt reply. I really appreciate it. I'm not really good in English especially in grammar, but i try my best to make a correction for the problems as stated.

I don’t know what to do. My girlfriend just left me, I don’t having money, but I have a lot of debts to pay, and I don’t have a job. Actually I have, but since my employer did not pay my salary for past three months. I just consider myself as jobless. Finding a job seems like hard stuff nowadays. I sent a lot of email and my resume everywhere but the response was not as expected.

For 5 years, after graduated from the university, I studied a lot of computer stuff, reading a lot of books, manuals, articles etc. Sometimes, I’m really tired being in this industry because you need to know more, to learn new things for every single day to make sure you are good enough and that’s the reason why the employer want kept you in the company.

  
Mister Micawber  #458494  Sun, 30 Dec 07 12:45 PM

Much better!  I've underlined some problem areas again:

I don’t know what to do. My girlfriend just left me, I don’t having money, but I have a lot of debts to pay, and I don’t have a job. Actually I have, but since my employer did not pay my salary for past three months. I just consider myself as jobless. Finding a job seems like hard stuff nowadays. I sent a lot of email and my resume everywhere but the response was not as expected.

For 5 years, after graduated from the university, I studied a lot of computer stuff, reading a lot of books, manuals, articles etc. Sometimes, I’m really tired being in this industry because you need to know more, to learn new things for every single day to make sure you are good enough and that’s the reason why the employer want kept you in the company.



  
Hampeh  #458497  Sun, 30 Dec 07 12:57 PM

Thank you teacher Smile [:)]

I don’t know what to do. My girlfriend just left me, I don’t have enough money, but I have a lot of debts to pay, and I don’t have a job. Actually I have, but since my employer did not pay my salary for three months ago, I just consider myself as jobless. Finding a job seems like more difficult nowadays. I sent a lot of email and my resume everywhere but the response was not as expected.

For 5 years, after I was graduated from the university, I studied a lot of computer stuff, reading a lot of books, manuals, articles etc. Sometimes, I’m really tired being in this industry because you need to know more, to learn new things for every single day to make sure you are good enough and that’s the reason why the employer want to kept you in the company.

  
Mister Micawber  #458506  Sun, 30 Dec 07 01:25 PM

Isn't this fun?  I have underlined the remaining problem areas (note that you have created a couple of new problems with your adjustments... and maybe I missed one before):

I don’t know what to do. My girlfriend just left me, I don’t have enough money, but I have a lot of debts to pay, and I don’t have a job. Actually I have, but since my employer did not pay my salary for three months ago, I just consider myself as jobless. Finding a job seems like more difficult nowadays. I sent a lot of email and my resume everywhere but the response was not as expected.

For 5 years, after I was graduated from the university, I studied a lot of computer stuff, reading a lot of books, manuals, articles etc. Sometimes, I’m really tired being in this industry because you need to know more, to learn new things for every single day to make sure you are good enough and that’s the reason why the employer want to kept you in the company.


Now it's my bedtime.


  
Hampeh  #458515  Sun, 30 Dec 07 02:40 PM

Thank you sensei Smile [:)]. I think I know where is my mistake. It’s a past tense.


Actually I have, but since my employer did not pay my salary for three months ago, I just consider myself as jobless.

Actually I have, but since my employer did not paid my salary for three months, I just consider myself as jobless.

Finding a job seems like more difficult nowadays.

Finding a job seems more difficult nowadays.

For 5 years, after I was graduated from the university, I studied a lot of computer stuff, reading a lot of books, manuals, articles etc.

For 5 years, after I graduated from the university, I studied a lot of computer stuff, reading a lot of books, manuals, articles etc.

Sometimes, I’m really tired being in this industry because you need to know more, to learn new things for every single day to make sure you are good enough and that’s the reason why the employer want to kept you in the company.

Sometimes, I’m really tired being in this industry because you need to know more, to learn new things every single day to make sure you are good enough and that’s the reason why the employer keep you in the company.

  
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