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Chrismlangan  #408836  Fri, 24 Aug 07 03:21 PM
I need to know which one of these sentences is prefered, and if (1) is correct at all.

1) Spencer stands and unbuttons his suit coat, revealing a handgun wedged between his pants.

2) Spencer stands and unbuttons his suit coat to reveal a handgun wedged between his pants.
  
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khoff  #408846  Fri, 24 Aug 07 04:00 PM

Grammatically, both sentences are okay.  But in terms of word choice I would say that you can't wedge something "between your pants" -- although "pants" looks plural, it's really a single object.  You could say "wedged into his pants" or, even better  "wedged into his belt."

I thought this might be quote from a Robert B. Parker novel, but his books are narrated in the first person, from Spenser's point of view.  If this is something you are writing about a Parker novel, please note that it's Spenser with an "s".  And if Parker actually used the phrase "a gun wedged between his pants,"  I'm surprised I didn't notice it when reading the book.  (I think I've read them all.)

  
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Chrismlangan  #408859  Fri, 24 Aug 07 05:06 PM

Thanks for the resonse.  The line is from a screenplay that I'm rewriting.  I've decided to change the line as quoted.  Please tell me what you think.

"Spencer, unbuttoning his suit coat, stands and reveals a handgun partially stuffed down his pants."

P.S.  Should would I have to add 'while' before 'unbuttoning'?

  
Goodman  #408897  Fri, 24 Aug 07 07:31 PM

 Chrismlangan wrote:
I need to know which one of these sentences is prefered, and if (1) is correct at all.

1) Spencer stands and unbuttons his suit coat, revealing a handgun wedged between his pants.

2) Spencer stands and unbuttons his suit coat to reveal a handgun wedged between his pants.

This is my take:

Both infinitive and gerund are gramamtically correct. What the difference is in my opinion is that in # 1, "revealing" implies a notion that it was an incidental event. # 2, on  the other hand, "to reveal" was a intent and Spencer intentionally revealed his gun tucked under his belt by unbuttoning his coat.

My watch fell off my wrist and got wedged between the car seats. Wedged is when something stuck between 2 objects, not being able to move. i.e. "I've looking for this umbrella for a long time. I found it yesterday wedged behind the dresser.

  
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