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Urgent Letter to an Employer. Grammar Check

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vincent tee  #203636  Mon, 06 Mar 06 09:35 AM

Hi English Tutor, I would like you to check the letter below on Grammar. This letter need to be sent to my new Employer. Thank you very much

Dear Tim Garland & Wendy Luc,

Thank you for the opportunity to discuss the position of Web Programmer with you. Our meeting helped me to better understand your company’s goals and reaffirmed my belief that this is the organization I would like to work for.

Although I’m ranked second among the three candidates, I would like you to reconsider about my application again to be the right person you would like to hire and at the same time giving me a chance to work as a long term employee, not just to benefit the development team but also the company.

I made some mistakes by showing too much of Front End Materials in the interview as I’ve the experience in Back End Programming Knowledge too which I didn’t show. With all that, I could clearly see that you doubt if I were the right candidate your organization is looking for. To reaffirm your confidence, I came from a programming background and from a Programming College, APIIT and I’ve done a prototype E-Commerce system for my Final Year Project using ASP, VB Script, SQL and DBMS. The project was a success, but not only that, I’ve integrated multimedia elements with Back End Programming Languages and a properly designed web layout to make it as a whole package of an E-Commerce System. The project is available to be shown if you would like to invite me for a 2nd interview.

As I’m a fast and a self learner, I would say I could easily pick up any Programming Languages and learn them in a fast pace. 2-3 weeks will be needed for my refresh, by that time the hiring processes (signing offer letter, medical report, HR processing, etc) will take longer than that, so I’ve retrained myself to accomplish your work and am capable to handle the job as per your requirements and lead Your Company to success.

I’m a hardworking, someone with a sense of humor, a competent young man, have the ability to product, a self learner and easily mix around with new people. I would say its better to think for a long term employee instead of a short term. Don’t you want to hire somebody like this?

As I’ve seen in the interview, I would like to say I love the group of people and have the enthusiasm to work with them.

Since I’m eagerly looking for a job because I have to pay up my mortgage, it would be appreciate if you guys to help me up and reconsider my application. I don’t mind to start with a lower salary that you’ve decided to pay for the first candidate. I hope to hear from you soon, and would be pleased to meet with you again for another interview.

Sincerely,
Vincent

  
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Demetrius  #203652  Mon, 06 Mar 06 11:25 AM

Dear Tim Garland & Wendy Luc,

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to discuss the position of Web Programmer with you. Our meeting helped me to better understand your company’s goals and reaffirmed my belief that this is the organization I would like to work for.

Although I’m ranked second you have indicated that I am second choice among the three candidates, I would like you to reconsider about my application as I believe I have a lot to offer not only again to be the right person you would like to hire and at the same time giving me a chance to work as a long term employee, not just to benefit the development team but also the company.

I made some mistakes by showing too much of may perhaps have over-emphasized Front End Materials Front-End Application skills in the interview as , but I’ve the I also have extensive experience in Back- End Programming Knowledge too which I didn’t showmay might not have been apparent. With all that, I could clearly see that you doubt if I were the right candidate your organization is looking for. To reaffirm your confidenceIn In order to reassure you, I come came from a wide programming background and from during my time at collegea Programming College, APIIT, I designed  and I’ve done a successful prototype E-Commerce system for my Final Year Project using ASP, VB Script, SQL and DBMS. The project was a success, but not only that, I’ve I have also integrated multimedia elements with Back- End Programming Languages programming languages and a properly designed web presentation layer layout to make it as a whole package of an produce a complete E-Commerce System. I can show you this project if you decideThe project is available to be shown if you would like to invite me for a 2nd interview.

As I amI’m a fast and a self- learner, I believe that it would be a straightforward matter for me to become quickly acquainted with any particular programming language that my work may require. would say I could easily pick up any Programming Languages and learn them in a fast pace. 2-3 weeks will be needed for my refresh, by that time the hiring processes (signing offer letter, medical report, HR processing, etc) will take longer than that, so I’ve retrained myself to accomplish your work and am capable to handle the job as per your requirements and lead Your Company to success. (I(I don't fully understand the preceding section - what is a "refresh"? - but I feel it is unnecessary in any case.)

I’m a hardworking, someone with a sense of humor, a competent young man, have the ability to product, a self learner and easily mix around with new people. I would say its better to think for a long term employee instead of a short term. Don’t you want to hire somebody like this? (Remove ALL of the previous section - NEVER ask informal questions in a formal letter). I am hardworking, friendly, conscientious, self-motivated and a good mixer. These are all qualities that I believe will contribute to making me a valuable long-term employee. From my perspective, may I say how impressed I was at my interview with the enthusiasm of both yourselves and your staff. It has made me very keen to become a part of your continuing success.

As I’ve seen in the interview, I would like to say I love the group of people and have the enthusiasm to work with them.

Since I’m eagerly looking for a job because I have to pay up my mortgage, it would be appreciate if you guys to help me up and reconsider my application. I don’t mind to start with a lower salary that you’ve decided to pay for the first candidate.(NO! NO! NO! NEVER sound as though you are desperate, and NEVER mention personal difficulties!) I hope to hear from you soon, and would be pleased to meet with you again for another interview.

Sincerely,
Vincent

  
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