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Please!!! It is urgent! Can I send this draft of Motivation Letter to the University I am applying?

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marian4eto  #504987  Thu, 24 Apr 08 09:03 PM
Hello!

I am applying for a Master program and this is my Motivation Letter. I have to send it already and is it OK to send it like that?

Please!! I need your help!! I would be very thankful if you read it! I would like to hear your opinions and comments. 

Thank you in advance!


Dear Madam or Sir,

I am hereby applying for the Master of Science in Y program at the X University for the 2008 fall term.

Being a daughter of an entrepreneur who is running an export company for the past 15 years, my inclination towards business began from an early age. As a child I often went with my father to his office and spent hours watching how he was working, talking with colleagues and negotiating. At the age of sixteen, I began to assist him to deal with family business and accompanied him in business meetings. These experiences instilled in me the desire to own and manage my own business someday and from then on I was determined to place the education and my future career in the center of my life.

Taking my interest further in my secondary education, I obtained a qualification in the profession of Organizer of Small and Medium Business. There have been a number of Management and Economic Exercises where I have been able to share knowledge, experience, responsibilities and to gain entrepreneurial and practical business skills. One example would be my participation in the National Online Competition Virtual Enterprise of the economic education organization Junior Achievement. It was a computer-simulated program in which I was a part of a team and we had to make production and marketing decisions for an imaginary product, considering a simulated economic situation. During the simulation, we decided on pricing, the amount to produce, the marketing budget, capital investment, and research and development spending. Although we did not win the competition, this program helped me to understand business, value free enterprise and be workforce ready for the challenges of the market in Bulgaria as a member of the European Union. I was also fascinated of how business and commerce work and I developed a sound interest in economics.

Hence, the prospect of intensifying my knowledge of these fields let me to the second step – enrollment in a Bachelor’s degree program in Economics with specialization in Trade in the Z University. Throughout my bachelor years I had plenty of opportunities and experiences that helped me hone my qualities and open my mind to new horizons. Having participated in many assignments, both independently and as a part of a team, I feel confident about tackling unfamiliar problems. The project I worked on, about the bankruptcy of the *** company is one of the assignments I have applied my quantitative and conceptual skills to analyze business problems and gave innovative solution ideas. I had to make an independent research about the cause of the failure, to analyze the information and to give assumptions about the possible outcomes of the situation. This project helped me understand the necessity of good organisation structures, and appreciate the significance of systems that work well. Due to the project I developed, also the presentation I made, I was awarded with an excellent mark an exemption from the final exam. Essentially or Generally, my education thus far has given me valuable insights into the environment in which companies operate - how they affect this environment and are affected by it. It also has given me a certain set of skills, confidence and desire to succeed in my further education.

I have a work experience, that further enhance my qualifications for this program. In my work as an administrative assistant in the Association of Advertising Agencies (AAA) , I participated in the organisation of six in total National Advertising Forums and Festivals as a project manager. My work entailed allocating the duties in the team, coordinating the tasks and controlling the whole event, with guest, reaching total number from 500 people at the Forums, to 1200 at the Festival. The running of these events, (handling with a wide range of problems), has strengthened my organisation and problem-solving skills. The work at AAA has taught me to communicate effectively, to be a good team-player and to work accurately under pressure.

My travelings throughout Europe and my participation in the Work and Travel Program in USA, have enhanced my self-confidence and independence. My ability to integrate easily in foreign communities has provided me with the confidence to anticipate and even enjoy challenges abroad – a capability that could only benefit my future endeavors.

Pursuing a Master’s degree in YY I will be able to fulfill my career ambitions. My immediate goal after completing my Master program is to work in the company, established by my father, and help him developing it further by reaching much greater heights in scope, expanse and technology. This will allow me to gain enough exposure to the business and to apply my skills and knowledge in a real working environment. It will be also a valuable experience, needed to achieve my long-term career goal - building my own market-leading export company. To accomplish this goals, however, I must further enhance my learning of the necessary strategic management issues, which will provide me with a global perspective, that every manager and entrepreneur mush have. My education will be a valuable necessity in my plans of moving the company to the next level.

Moreover, Bulgaria became a member of the European Union and as an EU country, there is a need of knowledgeable professionals who will assist the country in handling the requirements of the Union. I would like to be a part of that process as future entrepreneur and manager of own company. (Therefore, as a future entrepreneur and manager of my own export-oriented company, a priority for me is to support to the national efforts of my country to integrate our economy into the European and global one. – shall I remove this sentence)

With the graduate degree and the knowledge from your institution I will be able to fully realize my professional goals.

I am confident that I have the necessary combination of self-motivation, background, personality and academic knowledge to succeed in the Master’s degree program.

  
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26TMNTJG2PG  #505302  Fri, 25 Apr 08 12:10 PM

To change "who is running" to be "who has been running"; "from then on I was determined" to be "from then on I have determined"; "let me to the second step" to be "led me to the second step"; "gave innovative solution ideas" to be "given innovative solution ideas"; "Due to the project I developed, also the presentation I made" to be "Owing to the project I developed and the presentation I made"; "an excellent mark an exemption from the final exam" to be "an excellent mark for an exemption from the final exam"; "experience, that further enhance" to be "experience that further enhances"; ", (handling with a wide range of problems)," to be "(including the handling of a wide range of problems),"; "help him developing it further" to be "help him develope it further"; " this goals" to be " this goal" or "these goals"; "Bulgaria became" to be "Bulgaria has become";  and "support to the national" to be "support the national" - these are my views in the grammatical aspect.            

  
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marian4eto  #505367  Fri, 25 Apr 08 03:32 PM
Thank you!!! Smile 
  
26TMNTJG2PG  #505549  Sat, 26 Apr 08 02:28 AM

Please note that "help him develope it further" should be "help him develop it further"- a typing error.

  
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