I tried to improve your letter as best as I could. Some sentences I changed completely, some I left the same. If no one else responds to this post, hopefully this will help you. Note: I wasn't sure if you meant major or minor in Finance, so you might want to double check that. Major is primary, minor is secondary.
Good luck!
- Mike
Dear Ms. A,
I was informed by your advertisement on OOO that CCC is now hiring
secretary/administration officer position. I would like to express my interest by sending my Curriculum Vitae along with
this application letter.
As this moment, I am a new graduate student of AAA University
from MMM (VVVi University Campus). My major was Business Management with a minor? in Finance. I received excellent grades in the majority of my classes.
Last year I had one-month internship with BBB working in the Sales
Department. I learned some skills which I believe will help me do
well in the position above. Some of those skills include translating, communicating, and doing some short financial reporting. Moreover, I not only have the ability to
prepare a short oral presentation, but also do well on computer
software.
Since XYZ is a company which focuses on new activities (fixed
income market) which have the potential for future growth, I would be glad to be on the staff at XYZ.
I believe that I would be a valuable addition to your team, and am looking forward to your response.
Sincerely,
Nguyen, Thu Hien