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Use of "would rather"
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MarvinTheMartian  #515104  Sun, 18 May 08 06:42 AM

Hi, please read the following text and tell me what you think:

"Please don't come. I'm indisposed at the moment. I have a chronic disease and I'd rather you only saw me when I'm well [or] I'd rather you didn't see me when I'm ill."

This is what I would normally say if I were afflicted with such a disease. However, after running a Google search, I found no record of either of the last two sentence structures. I'm aware that Google, like so many search engines, offers limited and often unreliable information... Nevertheless, I'm beginning to question my verbal skills...
  
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New2grammar  #515113  Sun, 18 May 08 07:44 AM

Curious about what chronic diseases are, I did a Google search and found the following

http://www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=33490

 

They all sound pretty serious. I hope you are OK.

 
  
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MarvinTheMartian  #515135  Sun, 18 May 08 09:26 AM

No need to worry! I'm not sick! Big Smile My example is purely hypothetical. I'm just surprised that I couldn't find any constructions like "I'd rather you only see / saw me when I'm well" on Google. Hence my confusion.
  
Cool Breeze  #515198  Sun, 18 May 08 02:56 PM
 The past tense is used when there are two subjects:

I'd rather you went there.

But: I'd rather go there alone.

I have no idea what Google says about it  -  and I don't particularly care either. Smile 

CB 
  
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Clive  #515236  Sun, 18 May 08 04:47 PM

Hi,

If you don't want me to come because you have a chronic disease, it sounds to me like you never want me to come. ie If it's chronic, it will continue to get worse, so will there ever be a good time in the future to come?

Best wishes, Clive
  
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MarvinTheMartian  #515392  Mon, 19 May 08 02:34 AM

Thanks, everyone. Clive, to answer your question, I read somewhere that "chronic" can also be used to refer to a recurring condition, i.e. a disease that comes and goes. If so, would it be correct to say "I'd rather you don't / didn't see me when I'm sick" (i.e. when I'm having a fit or whatnot) or "I'd rather you only see / saw me when I'm well" (meaning: "during the periods when I'm well.") Being a proud person, I know I would probably not want to be seen when in pain if I had such a disease. (On an unrelated note, is it just me, or is that last sentence a bit awkward-sounding? (i.e. "Being a proud person, etc.") I couldn't think of a better way to say it. Suggestions?)
  
Clive  #515423  Mon, 19 May 08 05:31 AM

Hi,

Being a proud person, I know I would probably not want to be seen when in pain if I had such a disease. (On an unrelated note, is it just me, or is that last sentence a bit awkward-sounding? (i.e. "Being a proud person, etc.") No, it's fine.

Clive
  
MarvinTheMartian  #515437  Mon, 19 May 08 07:12 AM

Thanks, Clive. I wasn't sure. Would the following sentences also have been acceptable?

"Being a proud person, I know I would probably not want to be seen when I'm in pain if I had such a disease."

"Being a proud person, I know I would probably not want to be seen when I was in pain if I had such a disease."

"Being a proud person, I know I would probably not want to be seen while in pain if I had such a disease."

And how about the other sentences (the ones that begin with "I'd rather".) Are they also correct? Please explain.
  
Clive  #515869  Mon, 19 May 08 11:48 PM

Hi,

Hi,

Would the following sentences also have been acceptable?

"Being a proud person, I know I would probably not want to be seen when I'm in pain if I had such a disease."  'I am' is not good for a hypothetical statement like this.

"Being a proud person, I know I would probably not want to be seen when I was in pain if I had such a disease." OK.

"Being a proud person, I know I would probably not want to be seen while in pain if I had such a disease." OK

And how about the other sentences (the ones that begin with "I'd rather".) Are they also correct? Please explain. Please quote them again.

Best wishes, Clive
  
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