JT: I wasn't the one gritting my teeth in frustration, Mr P.
I'll remember to hold up my IRONY placard next time.
JT: That'd be nice, Mr P.
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JT: See what I mean, Mr P; "animal noises"! Might I point out to you, Sir that this illustrates, on your part, a profoundly naive [to be kind] conception of what language is.
Mr P: I'd be interested to know what you think human speech is, JT, if it isn't a series of animal noises. But let me rephrase the question, if it offends you:
JT: Luckily, writing isn't near as descriptively clear as speaking is or you'd not have been able to slip out of this one, eh, Mr P? To use a Britishism, "you'd have been caught out".
Mr P: 'If you think [counterfactual 'if it was'] is an 'informal variant', you're presumably discriminating between the two forms in some way. So what makes this particular set of words suitable for 'informal' use only? And why is it a 'variant'?'
(Please feel free to explain in your own words, rather than citing items from elsewhere on the internet.)
JT: I shall by the by, but first.
Did you happen to catch the 1/23 Dilbert cartoon, Mr P? The punch line from Wally, reads; "My favorite part is when he yelled. "Stop ruining my slogans with your logic".
You can catch it at,
http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/dilbert/archive/dilbert-20050123.html
This should take you right to that 1/23 cartoon. If not check the archives.
I {and every other language professional, including a number around this site} frequently point up differences in formal or informal variants. I believe, without a great deal of searching, I could even find some posts where you've done the same.
is not "suitable for 'informal' use only". We don't have this great divide that can't be crossed. It's not an absolute, it's more a question of degree; it's merely that it tends to be used in the informal realm more often. This shouldn't come as any great shock as many aspects of language tend to be used more in one realm or the other.
Contractions see far greater use in the spoken than in SWE. Relative pronouns and both tend to be used more in formal spoken and SWE than their counterpart .
But I think you feel that you've got a major point to make here, so I'll relinquish the floor to you, Sir. And don't forget the reminder I gave to CJ. I'd love to see something from any prescriptive source you two could dig up that actually, actually provides something in the way of proof for these prescriptions you espouse.
Have at it, Sir.