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What is wrong with this IT CV?

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Latest post Sun, Feb 10 2008 10:36 AM by Mister Micawber. 1 replies.
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Anonymous  +  475154 Sun, 10 Feb 08 09:08 AM

Hi all,

I have been using my CV around for some months, and suddenly, an HR agent asked me to correct “several” grammatical errors in it. I have asked an English-speaking friend to review it. But, as I have added some changes or updates, I may have introduce some errors.

Would you please review it? I have posted only its second part. I don’t want to abuse from your patience.

I am very curious to know what is wrong with it. Please, focus only on the English grammar and not in template, model and so on and disregard some technical IT acronyms.

Thanks a million.

//

PROFESSIONAL HISTORY

05/2006 ~ Present                   ACME – Sales Consultant

Sales consulting on Oracle BI solutions using demos, prototyping, proofs of concept, presentations to potential or existing customers. Costumer business needs analysis, matching them to solutions. Internal training to sales team. Marketing involvement.

10/2005 ~ 05/2006                   ACME – Oracle Consultant

Oracle Partner. IT Consulting Company.

Project at ACME - Federal Government IT Services - in partnership with ACME. Consolidation of 118 Oracle databases spread across the country, running at local/regional federal offices. All databases were migrated from 8i and 9i to 10g and transferred to a clustered IBM P590 machine, located at ACME main data centre in <city>.

09/2003 ~ 07/2005                   ACME – Oracle Consultant

Oracle Partner. Big 5 Consulting company.

ACME internal IT offshore from US HQ to ACME's subsidiaries in <country> and <country> implementing 24x7 worldwide support. Consulting during the work transition process at ACME's BSC - Business Support Centre, in <country>. Training on customer's IT internal processes received at ACME HQ's at <city> and <city> during one month.

06/2001 ~ 06/2003                   ACME Consulting, now Triscal – Oracle Consultant

Oracle Partner and 1st Oracle CAP Partner in Latin America. IT and Management Consulting firm.

Pre-sales. Business Intelligence and Data Warehouse projects. Oracle solutions presentations for potential customers and Oracle User Groups. Proofs of concept. Technical proposals definitions and technical support to the sales team, sales consulting. Technical courses definition and delivery.  System auditing, Oracle LMS. Warehouse Builder, Discoverer.

06/1998 ~ 06/2001                   ACME – Oracle DBA/Analyst.

Oracle Partner. IT Consulting company, focused on public sector.

Data Warehousing and system integration projects in taxes, telecom, health, transportation, education and marketing industries. Customer interaction. Data analysis and validation. Consulting in application design, architecture and development. Oracle courses delivery either internally to teams or externally to customers. Technical evaluation of candidates through interviews.

03/1998 ~ 06/1998                 ACME – Oracle Analyst

Oracle Partner. IT Consulting company. One of the biggest IT consulting firm in Brazil.

Improvement, extension and updating on a nation wide retail chain ERP: payables, credit, deliveries, inventory, stores and sales modules.

07/1996 ~ 03/1998          ACME

Oracle Developer and Analyst

Oracle Partner. IT Consulting company. Financial software house and OAEC (Oracle Approved Education Centre) Analysis, development and migration of financial and banking applications, such as open-market, account management, loans. Banking/financial market business rules and processes. SQL, PL/SQL, Web, Forms/Reports, Designer experience.

//
Anonymous
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Mister Micawber  +  475172 Sun, 10 Feb 08 10:36 AM

I have indicated the few outright corrections I could find in bold.  Because you have chosen to present your information in sentence fragments, it is very difficult to analyze or make consistent any grammar present.  If you continue to get complaints, I would suggest that you try casting it in paragraphs ( "I was a sales consultant for Oracle Bl solutions, using demonstrations, prototyping, proofs of concept and presentations prepared for both potential and existing customers.  I also designed customer business needs analyses and matched them to solutions, conducted internal sales team training, and had some involvement in marketing.")



PROFESSIONAL HISTORY

05/2006 ~ Present                   ACME – Sales Consultant

Salesconsulting on Oracle BI solutions using demos, prototyping, proofs ofconcept, presentations to potential or existing customers. Customerbusiness needs analyses, matching them to solutions. Internal training for sales team. Marketing involvement.

10/2005 ~ 05/2006                   ACME – Oracle Consultant

Oracle Partner. IT Consulting Company.

Projectat ACME - Federal Government IT Services - in partnership with ACME.Consolidation of 118 Oracle databases spread across the country,running at local/regional federal offices. All databases were migratedfrom 8i and 9i to 10g and transferred to a clustered IBM P590 machine,located at ACME main data centre in <city>.

09/2003 ~ 07/2005                   ACME – Oracle Consultant

Oracle Partner. Big 5 Consulting company.

ACMEinternal IT offshore from US HQ to ACME's subsidiariesin <country> and <country> implementing 24x7 worldwidesupport. Consulting during the work transition process at ACME's BSC -Business Support Centre, in <country>. Training on customer's ITinternal processes received at ACME HQ's at <city>and <city> during one month.

06/2001 ~ 06/2003                   ACME Consulting, now Triscal – Oracle Consultant

Oracle Partner and 1st Oracle CAP Partner in Latin America. IT and Management Consulting firm.

Pre-sales.Business Intelligence and Data Warehouse projects. Oracle solutionspresentations for potential customers and Oracle User Groups. Proofs ofconcept. Technical proposals definitions and technical support to thesales team, sales consulting. Technical courses definition anddelivery.  System auditing, Oracle LMS. Warehouse Builder, Discoverer.

06/1998 ~ 06/2001                   ACME – Oracle DBA/Analyst.

Oracle Partner. IT Consulting company, focused on public sector.

DataWarehousing and system integration projects in taxes, telecom, health,transportation, education and marketing industries. Customerinteraction. Data analysis and validation. Consulting in applicationdesign, architecture and development. Oracle courses delivery eitherinternally to teams or externally to customers. Technical evaluation ofcandidates through interviews.

03/1998 ~ 06/1998                 ACME – Oracle Analyst

Oracle Partner. IT Consulting company. One of the biggest IT consulting firm in Brazil.

Improvement,extension and updating on a nationwide retail chain ERP: payables,credit, deliveries, inventory, stores and sales modules.

07/1996 ~ 03/1998          ACME

Oracle Developer and Analyst

OraclePartner. IT consulting company. Financial software house and OAEC(Oracle Approved Education Centre) analysis, development and migrationof financial and banking applications, such as open-market, accountmanagement, loans. Banking/financial market business rules andprocesses. SQL, PL/SQL, Web, Forms/Reports, Designer experience.
Mister Micawber
Joined on Wed, Aug 4 2004
Yokohama
Veteran Member 30,788
'The question is,' said Humpty Dumpty, 'which is to be master-- that's all.'
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