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Abil  #525828  Wed, 11 Jun 08 01:36 PM
Can someone check if there is any mistake in the following sentence: Although Che Sung tried to harm him in many different ways, he was saved and the illegal occupation of his land could be staved off because of the fact that the administration was somewhat neutral at that time.
  
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Anonymous  #525864  Wed, 11 Jun 08 03:17 PM
Its fine. It could be improved but grammatically it's fine. 
  
Abil  #525920  Wed, 11 Jun 08 05:01 PM
Dear Anonymous, Thanks a lot.
  
Anonymous  #525927  Wed, 11 Jun 08 05:14 PM
It could be improved in some ways, it's OK - but two easy things you could do:

- Put a comma after "saved".

- "could be" needs to change to "was"; OR "was able to be" might be even better.

  
Grammar Geek  #526036  Wed, 11 Jun 08 09:24 PM

Abil
Can someone check if there is any mistake in the following sentence: Although Che Sung tried to harm him in many different ways, he was saved and the illegal occupation of his land could be staved off because of the fact that the administration was somewhat neutral at that time.

 

Hi Abil

Regarding the blue "he" - I assume that it refers back to the blue "him," but the structure makes it sound like it refers back to Che Sung.

Notice the tenses in pink: tried, was saved, could be - the switch to the modal here is unexpected. The other things are in the past - was it "staved off" or not?

Please, try not to use "because of the fact that" - just say "because."

I cannot understand the connection between a neutral adminstration and staving off the illegal occupation, nor what it has to do with Che Sung's attempt to harm the un-named "him." They don't seem like they belong in the same sentence at all.

 

  
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Abil  #526200  Thu, 12 Jun 08 08:50 AM
Dear Forum Guru, Thanks for your comments and suggestions. Actually, this is a part of an article I am translating into english. I will remember not to use "because of the fact that" clause. Abil
  
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