Will you check my dialog?(2)

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Kenta  #484301  Mon, 03 Mar 08 06:47 AM

M: There's a traffic light ahead. Shall I turn right?

F: Isn't that a one-way street?

M: Oh, I forgot it. You've been a big [great] help.

F: ...You've been a very hasty person.

  
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CalifJim  #484303  Mon, 03 Mar 08 06:56 AM
M:  There's a traffic light ahead.  Do I turn right there?

F:  Isn't that a one-way street?

M:  Oh, that's right.  Thanks.

F:   [I don't have a clear picture of what you're trying to say here.  Something critical would not be appropriate after the previous line.  Yet, your original attempt seems critical.]

CJ 

  
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"There are no facts, only interpretations" - Nietzsche
Kenta  #484306  Mon, 03 Mar 08 07:07 AM

Hello.

They are close friends (or a husband and a wife). M thanked her, but F felt sick of his carelessness.(He is always careless, hasty)

So she gave him a little critical comment instead of saying "You are welcome."

Is the last line wierd?

                      Thank you.  

  
CalifJim  #484308  Mon, 03 Mar 08 07:23 AM
 In that case, I would change the third line of the dialog.

It's weird (not wierd!) to have the wife say something critical after the husband tells her that she's been a great help.

M:  Do I turn right at the next traffic light?

F:  No!  Don't you remember?  It's a one-way street in the other direction.

M:   I forgot.

F:  Well maybe if you had looked at the map more carefully, you would have remembered.

_________

M:  There's the light.  Do I turn right?

F:  No, of course not.  It's a one-way street in the opposite direction.

M:  Are you sure?  I think I should turn right.

F:  Maybe, for a change, you should try thinking before you act.

The last line could also be: You're always rushing into things before you know what's going on.
 

CJ 

  
Kenta  #484316  Mon, 03 Mar 08 07:48 AM

Thank you. I am very happy to get good commentsBig Smile

                                                                     Kenta

  
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