With who? With whom? Or who (...) with?

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Anonymous

#459457 Wed, 02 Jan 08 12:39 PM

Hi!
I've got a problem with "who(m)" in one sentence. I've already checked- here is one topic about it, but it's not what I'm really looking for.
So, let's say, eg. I slept with the guy but I don't know who he was Wink [;)]

And now I wanna know something about him and I tell my friend "I'm looking for the guy"- and here is a problem "I'm looking for the guy who I slept with" ? or something different?

Please, help me!

Lea

Anonymous

Whom

Grammar Geek

#459466 Wed, 02 Jan 08 01:27 PM

Well, Lea, you can just drop the pronoun entirely: I'm looking for the guy I slept with.

OR: I'm looking for that guy I did at the party last night.

OR: I'm looking for that guy with whom I hooked up. - This one will sound a little odd, perhaps. We tend not to use the "whom" unless the preposition comes right before it. I'm not sure that grammar is the most important thing to think about when trying to track down our hook-ups, though.

Grammar Geek

Joined on Tue, Jan 10 2006

Pennsylvania, USA

Forum Guru (14,495)

Barbara, who answers in American English.

Grammar, Prepositions, Nouns, Pronouns, Whom

Philip

#459544 Wed, 02 Jan 08 04:01 PM

Grammar Geek wrote:

Well, Lea, you can just drop the pronoun entirely: I'm looking for the guy I slept with.

OR: I'm looking for that guy I did at the party last night.

OR: I'm looking for that guy with whom I hooked up. - This one will sound a little odd, perhaps. We tend not to use the "whom" unless the preposition comes right before it. I'm not sure that grammar is the most important thing to think about when trying to track down our hook-ups, though.

I saw that one coming, GG!

Philip

Joined on Thu, Jun 23 2005

USA Pacific Northwest (Seattle)

Forum Guru (5,410)

If one will scoff at the study of language, how, save in terms of language, will one scoff? - Mario Pei

Grammar, Prepositions, Nouns, Pronouns, Whom

Anonymous

#459556 Wed, 02 Jan 08 04:28 PM

OK.
So, I can't say "I'm looking for the guy who I talked with"?
You wrote 3 options, but this one I had given, isn't correct?

I read about "whom" but it isn't very common, is it?

We ask "Who did you talk with?" and answer "I don't know who I talked with".

Okay, I'm confussed and a little bit dizzy Smile [:)]

Thanks.

PS. Haha, grammar is very important, because as I said, it was an exmaple. Really Big Smile [:D]

I'm not a girl who doesn't remember with whom she slept (look, and I needed this knowladge to write it).

But now I understand why you gave different verbs. Sad.

Anonymous

Grammar, Verbs, Whom

Grammar Geek

#459561 Wed, 02 Jan 08 04:56 PM

Hi again,

You can use the original one. People do use "who" in that situation all the time. In the most proper sense, it should be "whom" but few people use the "whom" without the "with" coming RIGHT before it, and will find it to sound overly formal if you DO use the "whom."

But by just dropping the who/whom altogether, you avoid both what is technically a grammatical mistake and what sounds unnaturally formal.

If you felt compelled to use either who or whom, I'd use "who," despite being technically incorrect, because it's what's said 99% of the time in the U.S. in that type of construction.

Grammar Geek

Constructions, Whom

Verade

#459565 Wed, 02 Jan 08 05:00 PM

Just stick with GG! "I'm looking for the guy I slept with."

Don't get dizzy! Maybe you would feel better if you went to another subject? (I'm just kidding, anonymous!)

Verade

Joined on Mon, Dec 31 2007

Virginia USA

Regular Member (180)

Vera-- "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." --Helen Keller

Whom

Anonymous

#459602 Wed, 02 Jan 08 07:29 PM

I got dizzy, because of grammar not guy who I hadn't slept Big Smile [:D]

Lea

PS.Thanks for help Smile [:)]

Anonymous

Grammar, Whom

Grammar Geek

#459606 Wed, 02 Jan 08 07:59 PM

If you ever fine one who's so amazing he makes you forget your OWN name... oh, well, never mind. This isn't the right place to talk about it. Stick out tongue [:P]