90 ADVANTAGES OF BEING A MALE 1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. 3. You know stuff about tanks. 4. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. 5. You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives. 6. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. 7. You can open all your own jars. 8. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight. 9. Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind. 10. When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying. 11. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview. 12. All your orgasms are real. 13. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex. 14. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you. 15. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go. 16. You understand why "Stripes" is funny. 17. You can go to the bathroom with out a support group. 18. Your last name stays put. 19. You can leave a hotel bed unmade. 20. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you. 21. You can kill your own food. 22. The garage is all yours. 23. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 24. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment. 25. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow. 26. You never have to clean the toilet. 27. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes. 28. Sex means never worrying about your reputation: the more partners, the better. 29. Wedding plans take care of themselves. 30. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be you friend. 31. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack. 32. The National College Cheerleading Championship 33. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry. 34. You don't have to shave below your neck. 35. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite. 36. If you're 34 and single nobody notices. 37. You can write your name in the snow. 38. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest. 39. Everything on your face stays its original color. 40. Chocolate is just another snack. 41. You can be president. 42. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat. 43. Flowers fix everything. 44. You never have to worry about other people's feelings. 45. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours. 46. You can wear a white shirt to a water park. 47. Three pair of shoes are more than enough. 48. You can eat a banana in a hardware store. 49. You can say anything and not worry about what people think. 50. Foreplay is optional. 51. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe and you don't know what Kalvin Klein is. 52. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room. 53. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day. 54. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by. 55. You never feel compelled to waste an evening trying to stop a pal from getting laid. 56. Car mechanics tell you the truth. 57. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut. 58. You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without even thinking: He must be mad at me. 59. The world is your urinal (You can pee anywhere). 60. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you. 61. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. 62. One mood, all the time. 63. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him. 64. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle. 65. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing. 66. Same work....more pay. 67. Gray hair and wrinkles add character. 68. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment. 69. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100. 70. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back. 71. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory. 72. People never glance at your chest when your talking to them. 73. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift. 74. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers. 75. You can have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother. 76. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked. 77. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom. 78. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your friends you've changed. 79. Someday you'll be a dirty old man. 80. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Fuck it!" 81. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies. 82. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary. 83. You don't mind being a sexual object. 84. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because your not in the mood. 85. If something mechanical doesn't work, you can fix it or bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room. 86. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. 87. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind. 88. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries. 89. Not liking certain people does not preclude having great sex with them. 90. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?" DO YOU STILL HAVE DOUBTS THAT TO BE A MAN IS BETTER? or ...

One day Lil Jony says to his father: I want to get married. Father: Oh, so do you have someone special in your mind? Johny: Yes , Gradma Father: What? There is a problem now, you want to marry my Mother? Johny: Why not? You married my mother

which is longest english word having no repeated letters?

ain't dawg aiight cuz yo dat holla we could improve, reply back, if you have any other slang words.

Let me tell you all some sardarji jokes 10 Sardars and a girl were hanging below rescue helicopter with rope. pilot said that one must leave because of overload. the girle said that she will sacrifice. then sardars started clapping. Sardar: I havent slept all night in the train Friend: Why? Sardar: Got upper berth Friend: Why didnt you exchange with the man in the lower berth Sardar: because there was no one in the lower berth.

Hi here is an English sentence has all the letters from a-z it's The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog . that has been used to test typewriters and computer keypoards 'coz it's nicely coherent and short

what fruit makes you smile (riddle)

There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple... Is cheese the plural of choose? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital? Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another? When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on. When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it? .English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. How can 'slim chance and a fat chance' be the same, while ' wise man and a wise guy' are opposites? Now i know why i failed in english. It's not my fault but the silly language doesn't quite know whether it's coming or going yours;...

Poem by an African When I born, I Black, When I grow up, I Black, When I go in Sun, I Black, When I scared, I Black, When I sick, I Black, And when I die, I still black.. And you White fella, When you born, you Pink, When you grow up, you White, When you go in Sun, you Red, When you cold, you Blue, When you scared, you Yellow, When you sick, you Green, And when you die, you Gray.. And you calling me Colored? ps: I certainly do not mean this from a racist perspective, just thought it was funny. Don't get me wrong, please. ...

These made me laugh !! As far as stupid questions go, these are the stupidest... 1. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress? 2. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth? 3. Why can't woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed? 4. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say "hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"? 5. If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit? 6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside? 7. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer? 8. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a use by date? 9. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat? 10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think i'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"? 11. What do people in China call their good plates? 12. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? 13. Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? They're both dogs. 14. What do you call male ballerinas? 15. Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream? 16. If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesn't he buy his dinner? 17. Why is a person who handles money called a broker? 18. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? 19. If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from? 20. If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong? 21. Why is it that when someone tells you that there's billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere you have to touch it? 22. Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass? 23. Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window? 21 and 23 are so true ...

Hi, I love this song by Damien Rice and I am convinced I understand it, however, I am not 100% sure - I understand the words, I feel the emotion but as I find it almost impossible to translate it (into my language) I use the only way around it - I explain... and so I would like to know if my explanation is correct. Could someone help me, please? Here is the whole song (I am interested in the second verse) And so it is Just like you said it would be Life goes easy on me Most of the time And so it is The shorter story No love, no glory No hero in her skies I can't take my eyes off you I can't take my eyes off you I can't take my eyes off you I can't take my eyes off you I can't take my eyes off you I can't take my eyes... And so it is Just like you said it should be We'll both forget the breeze Most of the time And so it is The colder water The blower's daughter The pupil in denial I can't take my eyes off you I can't take my eyes off you I can't take my eyes off you I can't take my eyes off you I can't take my eyes off you I can't take my eyes... Did I say that I loathe you? Did I say that I want to Leave it all behind? I can't take my mind off you I can't take my mind off you... I can't take my mind off you I can't take my mind off you I can't take my mind off you I can't take my mind... My mind...my mind... 'Till I find somebody new Thanks a million! Kelly

A very interesting case came up on the supreme court desk here in India, is coconut a fruit, nut or vegetable I will post the courts ruling on iy here but till then we all can scratch our heads on it and share with all the members here

What is the most rhymable word in the ?

Didn't do it! One day a man comes home from work to find total mayhem at home. The kids were outside still in their pajamas playing in the mud and muck. There were empty food boxes and wrappers all around. As he proceeded into the house, he found an even bigger mess. Dishes on the counter, dog food spilled on the floor, a broken glass under the table, and a small pile of sand by the back door. The family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing, and a lamp had been knocked over. He headed up the stairs, stepping over toys, to look for his wife. He was becoming worried that she may be ill, or that something had happened to her. He found her in the bedroom, still in bed with her pajamas on, reading a book. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, What happened here today? She again smiled and answered, You know everyday when you come home from work and ask me what I did today? Yes, was his reply. She answered, Well, today I didn't do it!. __________________ To be a mother is not easy!

What is the meaning of just in "I just need you now"? is the name of a one of the mos known singles of lady antebellum band. Does it mean only or very? Please explain about just in "You're just jealous of her''

Today's question - How many words can the forums think of that only exist in the plural form? For example, the word scissors can only be in the plural form.

There is a tribe in Sudan-Africa its name ( Robatab ) they are very smart to answer or reply instantly! And they have a good skill in perfect description… There are many books about them…. I can translate some jokes for you. (1) A man was carrying a block of ice (in hot weather, we always buy ice) and the other man asked him: what do want to do with this ice? The first man said I want to make a doorstep for my house! (2) A boy was crying outside his house. Stranger: why are you crying? Boy: my father punished me. Stranger: why did he punish you? Boy: because I am nosey like you!!!!

hi, are there any other english words that ends with SHION apart from cuSHION and faSHION. reply me please

I do not know what is the stands for NATO, some people say it is 'No Action Talk Only', is that right?

Up to now, I still don't know when to use this phrase. What do you mean exactly when you say "NO" or "Pun intended?"

There were two students who would be having a final examination the following day. These two boys are consistent top students of the class, and being so, instead of studying and preparing for the exam, that very night, they went out with their friends and partied the whole night. The next morning, both of them woke up late so they rushed up to the bathroom, dressed up as quickly as they can and went to school. Unfortunately, by the time they arrived, the exam was over and so they pleaded for a special examination. The teacher said, if they could give her good reason for their coming late for the exam, she might as well consider giving them a special exam. And so, one of the boys said, it was because the vehicle they were in had a flat tire adn so they had to stop over so the driver could fix it. The other boy agreed to what his friend had said with matching pitiful look on his face. And so, the teacher decided to give them the exam, provided that they would take it in separate rooms. The teacher also said, she's going to give them just one question, if they answer it correctly, they would get an A, otherwise, they would fail. The two were so relieved, anyway they didn't have to study for the exam because they thought it would just be a piece of cake for them and there's no big deal if they had to take it in separate rooms, anyway, both of them are smart. So they were now ready to answer their exam, the one-question exam. And the question was..... 1. Which tire? hmmm... so, did they pass or fail? hehehe.. Ciao, IF ...

I have found in my dictionary two ways on how to write that something took place on July: "In late July 1914, he and Violet spent a few days with friends near Berwick-upon-Tweed" and "I expect you to report for work on July the twenty-eight." I wonder why in the first sentence it is written "in July". Does it matter that there is the word "late" ? Is it correct or maybe it is better to write "on July" as in the second sentence? How shoul I say "on July" or "in July"?

useful word meaning outstanding, standing forth etc.  bring it back into the Ocford enlgish dictionary people. I use Chambers because I care about words.

Why Did The Chicken Crossed the Road? Plato For the greater good. Karl Marx It was a historical inevitability. Machiavelli So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained. Hippocrates Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas. Jacques Derrida Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is dead. Noam Chomsky The chicken didn't exactly cross the road. As of 1994, something like 99.8% of all US chickens reaching maturity that year had spent 82% of their lives in confinement. The living conditions in most chicken coops break every international law ever written, and some, particularly the ones for chickens bound for slaughter, border on inhumane. My point is, they had no chance to cross the road (unless you count the ride to the supermarket). Even if one or two have crossed roads for whatever reason, most never get a chance. Of course, this is not what we are told. Instead, we see chickens happily dancing around on Sesame Street and Foster Farms commercials where chickens are not only crossing roads, but driving trucks (incidentally, Foster Farms is owned by the same people who own the Foster Freeze chain, a subsidiary of the dairy industry). Anyway, ... (Chomsky continues for 32 pages. For the full text of his answer, contact Odonian Press) Thomas de Torquemada Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out. Timothy Leary Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take. Douglas Adams Forty-two. Nietzsche Because if you gaze too long across the road, the road gazes also across you. Oliver North National Security was at stake. B.F. Skinner Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will. Carl Jung The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being. Jean-Paul Sartre In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road. Ludwig Wittgenstein The possibility of crossing was encoded into the objects chicken and road, and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence. Albert Einstein Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. Aristotle To actualize its potential. Buddha If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature. Howard Cosell It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurrence. Salvador Dali The Fish. Darwin It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees. Emily Dickinson Because it could not stop for death. Epicurus For fun. Ralph Waldo Emerson It didn't cross the road; it transcended it. Goethe The eternal hen-principle made it do it. Ernest Hemingway To die. In the rain. Werner Heisenberg We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, butit was moving very fast. David Hume Out of custom and habit. Saddam Hussein This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. Jack Nicholson Cause it fucking wanted to. Pyrrho the Skeptic What road? Ronald Reagan I forget. Henry David Thoreau To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life. Mark Twain The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated. Katherine McKinnon Because, in this patriarchial state, for the last four centuries, men have applied their principles of justice in determining how chickens should be cared for, their language has demeaned the identity of the chicken, their technonogy and trucks have decided how and where chickens will be distributed, their science has become the basis for what chickens eat, their sense of humor has provided the framework for this joke, their art and film have given us our perception of chicken life, their lust for flesh has made the chicken the most consumed animal in the US, and their legal system has left the chicken with no other recourse. Stephen Jay Gould It is possible that there is a sociobiological explanation for it, but we have been deluged in recent years with sociobiological stories despite the fact that we have little direct evidence about the genetics of behavior, and we do not know how to obtain it for the specific behaviors that figure most prominently in sociobiological speculation. Joseph Stalin I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omlette. Malcom X It was coming home to roost. Fernando Henrique Cardoso (by VWS) Because it was going to be privatized Paulo Maluf (by VWS) It was my gift to a neighbor who promised to vote for me. Sigmund Freund To maximize the libido. Georg Friedrich Hegel Thesis: to be on this side. Antithesis: to be on the other side. Synthesis: cross the road. Gottlieb Fichte It's the only action a chicken can do to become aware of itself. Rudolf Steiner It was crossing the threshold. Richard von Weizsäcker As a middleuropean chicken it fulfills its challenge: connect east and west. Michail Gorbatchov Glasnost: Everyone can see, the chicken does not follow the mainstream (as usual traffic does) but crosses(!) the road. Boris Yeltsin Unfortunately he is too drunken, so he dreaming of roasted chicken. Fidel Castro He's was an idiot! My sources inform me that he's already a chickenburger in McDonald's, Miami. Scarlett O'Hara If y'all couldn't keep him, honey, don't blame me. Tommy Lee Jones Don't worry, I'll get 'im back - quick, dead or alive! Bishop Berkley The question is irrelevant. It crossed the road to the other side and is no longer visible, therefore doesn't exist. Sorel Kierkegaard It was faced with an either/or decision: to stay on this side and despair, eventually commit suicide, or cross over to where there is at least hope, as any thinking chicken would do. Emmanuel Kant We cannot know whether the chicken "an sich" crossed the road or not. It only appears to be so. Donald McDonald To jump into the frying pan and become a Big Chicken Mac. Author Unknown Matress (that's me) Because it saw a beautiful female chicken across the road, and it thought, "I know it can be very dangerous( to cross the road) , but I have to meet that beauty". ...

ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck." ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas containing oxygen. Usage: "He cain't breathe ... give 'im some ARE!" BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayam. Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements." BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck." BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare." BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence." CHEER - (adverb) In this place. Usage: "Just set that bare rat cheer". DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim." FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far." FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country." FAT - (noun), (verb) - A battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh." GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert." HAZE - A contraction. Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf." HEIDI - (noun) - Greeting. HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, Hire yew?" IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage: "Them Bammer boys sure are ignert!" JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and took it to Lanner." JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) Contraction. Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?" MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts." RANCH - (noun)- Tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago." RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats." RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65." SEED -(verb) - Past tense of "to see". Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City". TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck." THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare." TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime." VIEW - Contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"