Putting your text right justified makes it harder to read and seems to be doing odd things to your punctuation.
Some of your arguments don't follow.
First you say if you have the money, go for it. Then you say it should only be done for medical reasons only.
You need to fix this: In my point of view, However, having it done should only be acceptable if it is for `medical' reasons, which can include psychological ones. Perhaps only problem is the capitalized H.
Just about no one has breast reduction for cosmetic reasons. People seems to want bigger boobs, not smaller. If you have breast reduction surgery, it's probably because of long-term back pain and other medical maladies. Have you confused the words "reduction" with "augmentation"?
I would strongly suggest you leave God out of academic papers.
I think that saying cosmetic surgery is reserved only for wounded soldiers is a bit harsh. What about the child born with a cleft lip? What about the person attacked by a dog? What about the person burned in a fire?
The word is "struggle," not "straggle."
Something that deserves to be changed - however, this makes it sound like you're the judge. Who desides whether a birthmark that covers half my face and has made me afraid to meet people since childhood is more deserving than the terrible scar on your face from when you were in a car accident?