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Would please help me to correct this letter?

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Latest post Fri, Jun 13 2008 12:48 PM by Parry07. 1 replies.
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Anonymous  +  514115 Thu, 15 May 08 06:10 PM
Dear e-friends,
 
I would appreciate if you can comment, correct, delete or add as necessary to improve the English of the letter below. I want to work on a real case problem in a company in order to finish my business course. The topic will be finance related one, and will be dicussed to what is important for the company, however I would like otherwise to explore mine.
 
Thank you in advance for being hepful.         
 
 
   Dear Sir/Madam,
 
   I was very pleased to talk to a representative of  the company X and to get to know about the group X at the London Career Exhibition of the 18 of april 2008. As all my experience, as a Project Engineer,  was in Oil and Gas construction, I would appreciate the opportunity to join X Group in a future time. However, for the moment, as detailed on my CV attached, I am in my last term of the business course in London and as part of my studies I need to prepare a small research based project. The project will tackle a real case problem in Corporate finance or Investment Decisions, and therefore I will be very happy to work on a case at X (the company) or any of its subsidaries. I would like to explore the use of "Real Options" in long term investment decisions and its limitations in practice, however this may change according to what will be aggreed to be important to the company.
 
I am  very willing to supply you with any information you may need and very pleased to receive your comments and suggestions very soon
 
 Kind Regards,
 
Mr. Kerman,
tel.
         
Anonymous
,
Parry07  +  526789 Fri, 13 Jun 08 12:48 PM
 

Please consider my words in bracket [] as deleted.

Dear Sir/Madam,

 

   I was very pleased to talk to a representative of  the company X and came to know   [to get to know] about the group X at the London Career Exhibition of the 18 of April 2008. As all my experience, as a Project Engineer,  has been [was] in Oil and Gas construction, I would appreciate the opportunity to join X Group in a future [time].

 

However, at  the moment, and as detailed on my attached CV [attached], I am in my last term of the business course in London and as part of my studies I need to prepare a small research based project. The project intends to tackle a real case problem in Corporate finance or Investment Decisions, and I would be priviledge [(very happy)] to work on a case at X (the company) or any of its subsidiaries. I would like to explore the use of "Real Options" in long term investment decisions and its limitations in practice; however this may change  based on [according] to what will be agreed and  [to be] important to the company.

 

I am  [very] willing to supply you with any information you may need and I would be very pleased to receive your comments and suggestions very soon.

 

 
Parry07
Joined on Thu, Jun 14 2007
UK
New Member 30
Parry07
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