Would you mind correcting this letter?

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Anonymous  #227509  Sun, 21 May 06 04:39 PM

To whom it may concern

 My name is [name]. I am a Pole who last season (2005) worked for your company [company1] but under the guidance of [company2]. In August, I worked on a pack house but in September I was transferred to [farm], where I worked on harvesting pears, plums and apples. My work number is [1111]. In connection with the fact that my co-operation with [company2] did not meet my expectations, I would like to apply for a job directly in your company. Both last year’s contacts and effective co-operation with supervisors – Mr. John and Mr. Craig – have encouraged me to start working on [farm] once again this year. I would appreciate it if you could answer my inquiry via e-mail and inform me whether it is possible for me to begin work in your company. As previously, I would like to reside in [city] if possible. Moreover, I could start my work from the beginning of July. As far as ways of contact are concerned, my e-mail address is [@@@] and my phone number is [111111111]. Please let me know if there is any further information you require. I would be immensely grateful if you could contact me via e-mail or telephone as soon as possible.

 Yours faithfully

I underlined the most questionable issues for me. Unfortunately, English isn't my native language; therefore, I am aware of the fact that this letter may contatin a lot of mistakes, especially stylistic ones. I would be very grateful if you could check it for mistakes. Thanks in advance.


under the guidance of - or 'under the leadership of' or 'under the direction of'?
on a pack house - 'on', 'in' or maybe 'at' pack house ?? Smile [:)]
transferred to - is the verb "transfer" suitable here??
work number - Does something like 'work number' exist?
reside in - again, maybe other verb will be more appropriate here?

Hope you could help me Smile [:)]

  
Eng_teach_in_germany  #227590  Sun, 21 May 06 09:37 PM
1. sounds ok
2. 'worked in a packing shed' is best
3. 'transferred to' is fine
4. 'where I harvested pears,..' is better
5. 'Employee number' is better, unless you mean tax number
6. 'reside in' is fine, also 'live in' would be ok..
  
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Regards, English teacher from Australia.
Anonymous  #227594  Sun, 21 May 06 09:55 PM
Thank you a lot

Regards
young student from Poland :]

  
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