Please help me to write a formal letter to English school

Hello,

Write your letter then and we will help you.

Anonymous wrote:

Dear Sir\Madam. i am very  excited to write a letter to you. My name is Emmy Johnson, i am 18 years old  Norwegian girl . I live with my parents and I am my last year in Secondary  School .Your school is one of my favorate  schools that  i am very interetsed in to start. i hpoe you accept my reaquest

Dear Sir\Madam.

I feel very excited while writing you this letter. Let me introduce myself:

my name is Emmy Johnson, I am 18 years old, and I come from Norway.

I live with my parents and I'm attending my last year in Secondary School.

Your school is one of those I'm most interested in.

I hope that you will accept my request.

Actually I think that's not much, however I corrected it.

Best Wishes,

                    =YoHf=

i am very  excited to write a letter to you. ] This sounds a little strange. Do you mean you're very pleased to be writing the letter?

i am 18 years old  Norwegian girl .] I am an eighteen-year-old Norwegian girl

I live with my parents and I am in my last year at Secondary  School .

Your school is one of my favorate  schools that  i am very interetsed in to start.] This doesn't quite convey the meaning you intend – did you want to try again? 

i hpoe you accept my reaquest ] I hope you agree to my request.

MrP

Dear Sir/Madam

I kindly would like to ask you to send me an application form for a bursary. 

Yours faithful

Sixolile Mthethwa