Write style

The subject is write style.

If you are writing an essay or a thesis  and you use this sentence, "completely surrounded on all sides". I think it is a really log-winded phrase, isn't it. You think that add instant sophistication to your writing. They don't. It just make your writing pretentious and gassy.

What do you think about it?

Tearsofjoy wrote:

I agree. the sentence you have mentioned is, indeed long-winded. It would be much better to replace it with a simple, but elegant "hemmed in". I think that writing clearly, wittily and concisely is much more important than using huge, clumsy phrases. According to rumours, someone once assumed he was insulting Hemingway when he remarked, "He has never used a word that would send someone to the dictionary". But does that make Hemingway's writing any less beautiful? I'm not sure, but I think there is a word for using two words together when they mean the same thing. Stuff like "old crone", etc. This seems to be the same thing, but unlike the usages I'm talking about, these may even be regarded as grammatical errors.

Thank you very much for you answer, but I 'm not sure if "hem in" ( phrasal verb) can replace the word "surrounded". I think they aren't synonymous, but if they are, please let me know.

hem in sb or hem sb in

To prevent someone from moving, or from doing what they want to do 
The crowd was hemmed in on all sides by the police. [usually passive]
We're hemmed in by so many regulations at work.

surround
 
verb  
to be around (something) on all sides 

Snow-capped mountains surround the city.

The house was surrounded by dense woods.

To surround something also means to have to do with it or to result from it: I'm interested in the circumstances surrounding the accident.

The controversy that surrounded the police action led to a number of investigations.

Tearsofjoy wrote:

Matress, it is true that "hemmed in" does not mean exactly the same as "surrounded". "hemmed in" implies a sense of constriction or suffocation, that does not exactly come under the definition of "surrounded". However, "completely surrounded" or "surrounded on all sides" would certainly be better than "completely surrounded on all sides", which seems very clumsy to me.

In fact, just "surrounded" is enough.