Hi,
I came across to find out this website from google.com and want to improve my writing skill. Would anyone please to review my essay and give me suggestions?
I sincerely appreciate any commentary.
========== writing task ==========
Subject: Qualities of people that we need in our society can't be
learned in universities and other academic institutions. Do you agree
or disagree?
The constitution of a society often requires
different kinds of people to make contribution in variant ways.
Therefore, it is not enough simply to expect elites to offer their
ability obtained from school. Thus, I agree with the point that those
properties a society needs can not be learned in university as well as
other institution.
The primary reason is that nowadays
many universities more often train students with physical skills rather
than help them think logically. As we are often able to perceive that
every year lots of enterprises complain about incapability of graduated
students. For instance, many professors would teach students to use
denominated software such as Microsoft Office, rather than lecturing
the principles of the editor. Thus, it only comes up with students who
do not know how to solve dilemmas.
Second, the properties
that a community desires usually results from creativity, notably in
such swiftly changing society. Different eras require contribution from
people capable of feasible properties. In the past few decades in
Taiwan, abilities of work force needed was diligent and earnest.
However, up to the present days, the higher technology a society be,
the more sophisticated personality, such as creativity as well as
thinking deliberately, weigh over physical skills. Accordingly, that
would be a critical point for a country or a society to develop rapidly.
To\r\nsum up, not merely by training people with ossified skills, including\r\nusage of tools, but also helping them have rumination as well, it would\r\nfulfill the requirement of a society needed accordingly.
\r\n\r\n",0]
);
D(["mi",8,2,"109f1c1bceb34976",0,"0","neo anderson","neo","freeonfair@gmail.com","
mamtha_sh","11:58 (17 分鐘以前)",["mamtha_sh@yahoo.com"]
,[]
,[]
,[]
,"2006/3/13 上午 11:58","Re: IELTS","",[]
,1,,,"2006年3月13日_上午 11:58","2006/3/13, neo anderson :","2006/3/13, neo anderson <freeonfair@gmail.com>:","gmail.com",,["","",1]
,""]
);
D(["mb","Hi, Mamtha:
I saw your post at
http://www.aippg.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t\u003d29143. I also plan to take the test in April, but failed to achieve the score needed last time (I only obtained band 6, in writing, in the previous test, but hope to get band 7, writing task, in order to achieve \r\n6.5 overall ). Would you like to tell me your experience in writing section, including paragraphs structure, grammar and so on? or would you please to review my eassy and give me some suggestions? ",1]
);
//-->
To
sum up, not merely by training people with ossified skills, including
usage of tools, but also helping them have rumination as well, it would
fulfill the requirement of a society needed accordingly.