whats wrong with this paragraph???

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Anonymous  #481154  Sun, 24 Feb 08 09:43 PM

Eric and I have known each other for the past five years. We have only played one tennis tournament together and it was four years ago. We decided unknowingly to go to the same junior college in Temple. We played doubles against each other for two years there. He has always been on the number one team and I on the number two team. Then after our two years there I decided to go to University of Mary Hardin-Baylor and he decided to go to a school in Oklahoma. Troubles between his wife and the girls coach had him looking for another school to go to. He called me up and wanted to know how it was here. Being the persuasive guy that I am he packed his and his wife bags and headed here. With him on the team, UMHB has been better than they ever have in six years. Again, Eric and I did not play doubles together, him playing on the higher team than I

  
bernice.farrugia  #481334  Mon, 25 Feb 08 10:43 AM
(1)  We only played one ... and it was four years ago. -  You need to use the PAST SIMPLE here because you're talking about something which happened 4 years ago.

(2)  ...between his wife and the girls' coach... - you need the apostrophe after 'girls' because it's a possessive

(3)  ...he packed his and his wife's bags... - same thing 's for possessive


Bernice
  
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