An open letter from a Most Yeligible Bachellar from the South!!!!

Madam:

I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in Bangaloru.  Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.

I am a soiled son from inside Karnataka.  I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long.  My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly.  I am  playing hardly also.  Especially I like cricket and I am a good batter and I am fast baller.  Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running.  Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot.

I am very nice man.  I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly. I am gay.

Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft.  I am always giving respect to the ladies.  I am always allowing ladies to get on top.  That is how nice I am.

I am not having any bad habits.  I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else.  Every morning I am going to the gym and I am pumping like anything.  Daily I am pumping and pumping.  If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the gym.

I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do?

So I am taking things into my own hands everyday.  That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things into your hand.

If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day.  In fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the gym.

If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet and looking up with lots of hope.  I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.

Expecting soon,