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<?xml-stylesheet type="text/xsl" href="http://www.englishforums.com/utility/FeedStylesheets/rss.xsl" media="screen"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/"><channel><title>Words, Puns &amp; Jokes</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/WordsPunsJokes/Forum15.htm</link><description>Where an utterly useless word is submitted on a regular basis– and now we've thrown in a pun and a joke.</description><dc:language>en</dc:language><generator>XMOD (Build: 3598.39794)</generator><item><title>Is coconut a fruit, nut or vegetable?</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/IsCoconutFruitVegetable/gvvvg/post.htm</link><pubDate>Sat, 07 Feb 2009 22:26:50 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:522008</guid><dc:creator>Creativeguru</dc:creator><slash:comments>18</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/IsCoconutFruitVegetable/gvvvg/post.htm</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments15-522008.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>A very interesting case came up on the supreme court desk here in India, is coconut a fruit, nut or vegetable 
 I will post the courts ruling on iy here but till then we all can scratch our heads on it and share with all the members here</description></item><item><title>Here, eat this root</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/HereEatThisRoot/vlkb/post.htm</link><pubDate>Thu, 07 May 2009 21:26:50 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:23002</guid><dc:creator>deepa</dc:creator><slash:comments>15</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/HereEatThisRoot/vlkb/post.htm</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments15-23002.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root. 1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer. 1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion. 1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill. 1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic. 2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root</description></item><item><title>Johnna's Riddle</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/JohnnasRiddle/lhzhp/post.htm</link><pubDate>Tue, 27 Oct 2009 21:50:43 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:954701</guid><dc:creator>Anonymous</dc:creator><slash:comments>0</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/JohnnasRiddle/lhzhp/post.htm</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments15-954701.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>What breaks but never falls, what falls but never breaks. 
 Hint1: This happends everyday. 
 Hint2: Its not a solid, liquid, or gas.</description></item><item><title>Spelling</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/Spelling/lhvcb/post.htm</link><pubDate>Tue, 27 Oct 2009 09:17:36 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:954313</guid><dc:creator>Anonymous</dc:creator><slash:comments>0</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/Spelling/lhvcb/post.htm</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments15-954313.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>which two words are the longest in the english dictionary sound the same but have no letters the same</description></item><item><title>CaN YoU ReAd tHiS??! :)</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/CanYouReadThis/wlbkm/post.htm</link><pubDate>Sat, 09 May 2009 17:20:59 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:722682</guid><dc:creator>Rowaa Suleiman</dc:creator><slash:comments>10</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/CanYouReadThis/wlbkm/post.htm</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments15-722682.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>Only great minds(ok...maybe not great) can read this ..This is weird, but interesting!  
  
 fi yuo cna rae d tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. 
 i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno&amp;#39;t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl ms es and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the h uamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you...</description></item><item><title>The most common slang words</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/TheMostCommonSlangWords/vqvw/post.htm</link><pubDate>Wed, 07 Jan 2009 22:26:50 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:24352</guid><dc:creator>nicholetta</dc:creator><slash:comments>89</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/TheMostCommonSlangWords/vqvw/post.htm</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments15-24352.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>ain&amp;#39;t  dawg  aiight  cuz  yo  dat  holla   we could improve, reply back, if you have any other slang words.</description></item><item><title>Never Rely on Spell Check</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/NeverRelyOnSpellCheck/ldqnz/post.htm</link><pubDate>Sun, 11 Oct 2009 20:22:54 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:938320</guid><dc:creator>dokterjokkebrok</dc:creator><slash:comments>1</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/NeverRelyOnSpellCheck/ldqnz/post.htm</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments15-938320.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>&lt;img src="http://www.englishforums.com/emoticons/emotion-2.gif" titl</description></item><item><title>Random Jokes</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/RandomJokes/wvbxp/post.htm</link><pubDate>Wed, 18 Mar 2009 23:39:02 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:688362</guid><dc:creator>Kooyeen</dc:creator><slash:comments>12</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/RandomJokes/wvbxp/post.htm</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments15-688362.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>I&amp;#39;m bored, this forum needs some jokes. So I picked some random ones from Youtube... I read them in the comments, LOL.   What&amp;#39;s the difference between my girlfriend and my Christmas tree? My Christmas tree looks good with the lights on.  A blond girl is watching the news with her boyfriend. The newscaster says: &amp;quot;There was a plane crash today. Two brazilian man have been confirmed dead&amp;quot;. The blonde turns to her boyfriend and says: &amp;quot;Oh my God! What a disaster! How many are in a brazilian?&amp;quot; How do you keep an idiot waiting? I&amp;#39;ll tell you later. Why did the Siamese twins move to England?  So the other one could drive. 					  A dyslexic guy walks into a bra...  A boy walks in to a bathroom to do his business....</description></item><item><title>90 ADVANTAGES OF BEING A MALE</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/90AdvantagesOfBeingAMale/cbcrr/post.htm</link><pubDate>Sat, 07 Mar 2009 22:26:50 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:172533</guid><dc:creator>Matress</dc:creator><slash:comments>28</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/90AdvantagesOfBeingAMale/cbcrr/post.htm</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments15-172533.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>90 ADVANTAGES OF BEING A MALE  
1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 
2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. 
3. You know stuff about tanks. 
4. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. 
5. You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives. 
6. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. 
7. You can open all your own jars. 
8. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight. 
9. Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind. 
10. When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying. 
11. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview. 
12. All your orgasms are real. 
13. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex. 
14. Guys in...</description></item><item><title>English is hard to learn because ...</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/EnglishHardLearnBecause/bxvj/post.htm</link><pubDate>Sat, 07 Mar 2009 22:26:50 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:9036</guid><dc:creator>Woodward</dc:creator><slash:comments>9</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/EnglishHardLearnBecause/bxvj/post.htm</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments15-9036.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>English is hard to learn because...  English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.   We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?  Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.   If...</description></item><item><title>Literacy Homework</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/LiteracyHomework/kqwqw/post.htm</link><pubDate>Thu, 24 Sep 2009 19:22:00 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:916410</guid><dc:creator>Anonymous</dc:creator><slash:comments>0</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/LiteracyHomework/kqwqw/post.htm</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments15-916410.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>Which double consonants are never found in any words</description></item><item><title>words adjectives that end in ly</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/WordsAdjectivesLy/mzb/post.htm</link><pubDate>Sat, 07 Feb 2009 22:26:50 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:3554</guid><dc:creator>maj</dc:creator><slash:comments>26</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/WordsAdjectivesLy/mzb/post.htm</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments15-3554.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>Some adjectives ending in ly are used as adverbs like this:
 
 -lovely. She is lovely. (adjective)
 -in a lovely way. She behaves in a lovely way.(adverb)
 
 Can you think of anymore adjectives that follow this pattern when adverbs? Please use them in a sentence.</description></item><item><title>Words</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/Words/kxbzl/post.htm</link><pubDate>Wed, 16 Sep 2009 14:39:38 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:904377</guid><dc:creator>Anonymous</dc:creator><slash:comments>0</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/Words/kxbzl/post.htm</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments15-904377.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>What is the word with the most &amp;#39;i&amp;#39;s in it?</description></item><item><title>Longest word in english dictionary</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/LongestWordEnglishDictionary/xnpb/post.htm</link><pubDate>Sat, 07 Feb 2009 22:26:50 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:72795</guid><dc:creator>Guest</dc:creator><slash:comments>16</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/LongestWordEnglishDictionary/xnpb/post.htm</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments15-72795.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>pleasse tell me the longest word in the English dictionary?</description></item><item><title>Longest word</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/LongestWord/knghb/post.htm</link><pubDate>Mon, 14 Sep 2009 04:20:29 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:900933</guid><dc:creator>Anonymous</dc:creator><slash:comments>1</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/LongestWord/knghb/post.htm</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments15-900933.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>What is the longest word in english?</description></item><item><title>How many words can you make out of the word ''these''.You can re-arrange the letters.</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/HowWordsWordTheseArrangeLetters/kjxkk/post.htm</link><pubDate>Wed, 02 Sep 2009 16:08:04 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:883653</guid><dc:creator>Anonymous</dc:creator><slash:comments>1</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/HowWordsWordTheseArrangeLetters/kjxkk/post.htm</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments15-883653.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>How many word&amp;#39;s can you make from the word these .you can re-arrange the letters.</description></item><item><title>Abbreviations</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/Abbreviations/kklhz/post.htm</link><pubDate>Sat, 05 Sep 2009 06:56:40 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:887643</guid><dc:creator>Anonymous</dc:creator><slash:comments>0</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/Abbreviations/kklhz/post.htm</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments15-887643.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>abbreviate the word &amp;quot;INFLUENCE&amp;quot;. 
  
 for example &amp;quot;KISS&amp;quot; 
  
 K- keep 
 I- it 
 S- short 
 S - simple 
  
 use the word INFLUENCE</description></item><item><title>Funny English "strange signs"</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/FunnyEnglishStrangeSigns/kjjkh/post.htm</link><pubDate>Tue, 01 Sep 2009 07:20:47 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:882205</guid><dc:creator>meriam</dc:creator><slash:comments>0</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/FunnyEnglishStrangeSigns/kjjkh/post.htm</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments15-882205.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>Private school:
 NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.

 Hotel bedroom, Japan:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

 Doctor&amp;#39;s surgery, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

 Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

 Hotel, Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.
 
Hotel airconditioner instructions, Japan:
COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.
 
Zoo, Hungary:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY. 

Resaurant, Nairobi:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

 Car...</description></item><item><title>a quote which is hard to understand.</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/AQuoteHardUnderstand/dlwjh/post.htm</link><pubDate>Thu, 07 May 2009 21:26:50 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:307078</guid><dc:creator>Anonymous</dc:creator><slash:comments>4</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/AQuoteHardUnderstand/dlwjh/post.htm</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments15-307078.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>I don't understand this quote..Can someone explain to me what it's saying?  "Doing your best is not good enough, you must do what is necessary."   thanks.</description></item><item><title>Joke</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/Joke/kwjjh/post.htm</link><pubDate>Thu, 27 Aug 2009 22:52:27 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:877275</guid><dc:creator>Anonymous</dc:creator><slash:comments>1</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/Joke/kwjjh/post.htm</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments15-877275.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>there were two panda bears in a bath tub. the one in the back said hey can you pass me the shampoo? the one in front replied what do i look like a flashlight?</description></item><item><title>English sentence uses all the letters of the alphabet</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/EnglishSentenceUsesLetters-Alphabet/vlvcm/post.htm</link><pubDate>Wed, 07 Jan 2009 22:26:50 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:389329</guid><dc:creator>Pisces</dc:creator><slash:comments>14</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/EnglishSentenceUsesLetters-Alphabet/vlvcm/post.htm</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments15-389329.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>Hi here is an English sentence has all the letters from a-z it's The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog .   
 that has been used to test typewriters and computer keypoards 'coz it's nicely coherent and short</description></item><item><title>This is the name of a celebrity.</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/ThisIsTheNameOfACelebrity/khlkx/post.htm</link><pubDate>Mon, 24 Aug 2009 16:53:28 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:872964</guid><dc:creator>Anonymous</dc:creator><slash:comments>0</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/ThisIsTheNameOfACelebrity/khlkx/post.htm</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments15-872964.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>Unscramble this for me. NATRRABESEEY</description></item><item><title>Most difficult question ever.</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/MostDifficultQuestionEver/vlvwv/post.htm</link><pubDate>Sat, 07 Mar 2009 22:26:50 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:389423</guid><dc:creator>Intelligent Freak</dc:creator><slash:comments>14</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/MostDifficultQuestionEver/vlvwv/post.htm</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments15-389423.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>There were two students who would be having a final examination the following day. These two boys are consistent top students of the class, and being so, instead of studying and preparing for the exam, that very night, they went out with their friends and partied the whole night. The next morning, both of them woke up late so they rushed up to the bathroom, dressed up as quickly as they can and went to school. Unfortunately, by the time they arrived, the exam was over and so they pleaded for a special examination. The teacher said, if they could give her good reason for their coming late for the exam, she might as well consider giving them a special exam. And so, one of the boys said, it was because the vehicle they were in had a flat...</description></item><item><title>Unjumble letters to make a word</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/UnjumbleLettersWord/wvzml/post.htm</link><pubDate>Sun, 22 Mar 2009 01:48:19 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:689480</guid><dc:creator>Anonymous</dc:creator><slash:comments>8</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/UnjumbleLettersWord/wvzml/post.htm</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments15-689480.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>What word can be made from these letters ? ESIVAEV</description></item><item><title>Help for a jok "Denise and Denephew"</title><link>http://www.englishforums.com/English/HelpDeniseDenephew/bjbdh/post.htm</link><pubDate>Tue, 07 Apr 2009 21:26:50 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:128085</guid><dc:creator>Anonymous</dc:creator><slash:comments>11</slash:comments><comments>http://www.englishforums.com/English/HelpDeniseDenephew/bjbdh/post.htm</comments><wfw:commentRss>http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments15-128085.xml</wfw:commentRss><description>Denise and Denephew  
 A pregnant woman from Virginia was involved in a car accident and, while in the hospital, she fell into a coma. When she awoke days later, the woman noticed that she was no longer carrying a child, and asked, "Doc, what happened to my baby!"  The doctor replied, "Ma'am, you've had twins! You're the proud mother of a handsome baby boy and a beautiful baby girl. Also, you should know that while you were in a coma, your brother named the children for you."  "Oh, no!" shrieked the woman. "Not my brother! He's not really all together, if you know what I mean!"  The doctor replied, "Well, ma'am, your brother named your daughter Denise."  "Oh, that's no so bad," smiled the woman. Then, hesitantly, she asked, "What's the...</description></item></channel></rss>