ESL General English Grammar Questions

Re: correction 1

New2grammar — Tue, 20 May 2008 10:22:06 GMT

Thank you, Mr.P.
Thanks for the clue in #3 but just to be sure I understand it and other cases like this, I'll create a new thread to discuss.

Re: correction 1

MrPedantic — Mon, 19 May 2008 21:24:27 GMT

Hello New2,

1. "flashed in front of her eyes" <thumbs up>

2. Unfortunately you still need the second "for": you search for someone, for a period of time. The object of the first "for" is the deleted "that", i.e."a guy [that] she'd been searching for (for three years)".

3. It's the content of the note that she hadn't understood.

4. Yes, 'a split second before' would be fine – I would also change the tense to the past perfect, as the "entering" preceded the "rushing".

5. <thumbs up>

__________

Sorry it was confusing!

All the best,

MrP

Re: correction 1

New2grammar — Mon, 19 May 2008 09:40:44 GMT

Thanks, Khoff for the suggestions. Recently I've learn about dangling phrase and I think that's the problem with my sentence here which you've corrected.

Oh yeah. Cheyenne! The same spelling as a type of herb used in cooking I believe.

Thanks!

Re: correction 1

New2grammar — Mon, 19 May 2008 09:33:14 GMT

Thanks, Mr. P. I didn't know you'd replied to my post until now. Actually, I've been waiting. Somehow your post escaped me.

1. Thanks for the suggestion!
an image of her long-lost boyfriend flashed in front of her eyes.
I didn't know this was a common expression. Logically, in front of someone should be sufficient. :(

2. Here's what I understand

I searched for something for a period of time

the object can be moved to the front and the abandoned 'for' can be taken out.

<something> I've been searching <for> for a period of time

3. Which always relates to the noun that precedes it. However, in some cases, it can modifies the noun before the noun that precedes it if the latter noun describes the former noun in my opinion.

The car in my driveway which has a red roof is a ferrari.

Which doesn't modify the driveway in cases like this.

So, I still don't see what's wrong with my sentence :(

4. should I use 'a split second before'?

5. BUT to her disappointment?

Could you please answer my questions above? Or Could you give me some more clues?
I'm still quite confused.
Thanks!

Re: correction 1

khoff — Sat, 17 May 2008 01:31:49 GMT

New2grammar
While walking aimlessly on the street in Chayenne, an image of her long-lost boyfriend flashed by in front of Amy.

This sounds as if the image was walking aimlessly on the street. How about something like, "As Amy walked aimlessly on the street in Cheyenne, an image of her long-lost boyfriend flashed by in front of her."

Also, if this is Cheyenne, Wyoming, note the correct spelling.

Re: correction 1

MrPedantic — Fri, 16 May 2008 23:42:57 GMT

Hello N2G,

It needs a little attention in some other places:

1. an image of her long-lost boyfriend flashed by in front of Amy

— you might prefer a more idiomatic expression: try googling on +"flashed in front of *'s"

2. the guy she'd been searching for 3 years

— a word is missing here. (Think about the adverbial phrase again.)

3. an apology note on the bedside table which she still hadn't understood the content

— a word is missing here. Clue: what does "which" relate to, and what is its function?

4. She rushed into the clothing store which the man entered a split second ago.

— Check the tense of "entered"; and can you use "ago" in this context?

5. and to her disappointment, it was another false positive.

— what conjunction might suggest a contrast?

All the best,

MrP

PS: sorry I'm late.

Re: correction 1

New2grammar — Thu, 15 May 2008 03:54:56 GMT

While walking aimlessly on the street in Chayenne, an image of her long-lost boyfriend flashed by in front of Amy.
She lifted her head and looked around. Just when she thought her imagination was playing tricks on her, she saw an exact replica of the back of the guy she'd been searching for 3 years. He'd left her with nothing but an apology note on the beside table which she still hadn't understood the content. She rushed into the clothing store which the man entered a split second ago. Her hand reached for the man who was checking
out a brown leather jacket and at the contact, the man turned and to her disappointment, it was another false positive. She continued wondering out the store onto the street.

Mr. P, Is it better now? Any other mistakes?

Re: correction 1

MrPedantic — Wed, 14 May 2008 20:32:59 GMT

Hello New2G,

Try looking at this sentence first:

"Just when she thought her imagination was playing tricks on her, she saw an exact replica of the back of the guy she'd been searching for 3 years when he left with an apology note on the beside table which she still hadn't understood the content."

Why not split it up into 2 or 3 smaller sentences?

All the best,

MrP

correction 1

New2grammar — Wed, 14 May 2008 16:31:15 GMT

While walking aimlessly on the street in Chayenne, an image of her long-lost boyfriend flashed by in front of Amy.
She lifted her head and looked around. Just when she thought her imagination was playing tricks on her, she saw an exact replica of the back of the guy she'd been searching for 3 years when he left with an apology note on the beside table which she still hadn't understood the content. She rushed into the clothing store which the man entered a split second ago. Her hand reached for the man who was checking
out a brown leather jacket and at the contact, the man turned and to her disappointment, it was another false positive. She continued wondering out the store onto the street.

Please correct any mistakes.

Thanks!