http://www.englishforums.com/English/Poetry/Forum13.htmPoets.. come one, come all.enXMOD (Build: 3616.28671)http://www.englishforums.com/English/APoemMineWaiting/2/vjdqp/Post.htm#393752Sun, 26 Apr 2009 17:16:57 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:393752Sushi*0http://www.englishforums.com/English/APoemMineWaiting/2/vjdqp/Post.htm#393752http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments13-393752.xmlNeed C U: you can read my poem called '' a lonely dream'' it's on the Poetry blog waiting for your criticism see ya ***http://www.englishforums.com/English/APoemMineWaiting/2/vjdqp/Post.htm#393725Thu, 26 Feb 2009 18:16:57 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:393725Need.2.C.U1http://www.englishforums.com/English/APoemMineWaiting/2/vjdqp/Post.htm#393725http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments13-393725.xmlDear Sushi*, Thank you very much for your words. They made me very happy. I agree with you on the importance of writing in English or any other foreign language different from ours. It's really an important, enjoyable and useful thing to do. You know, it's great for me to find an Arabic speaker who's writing English poems too. I would really love to read some of your poems. By the way, believe it or not, the best lines you liked of my poem are the same lines I like most. Good luck for you too! Hi Samarnh_p, Thank you for taking some time to read my poem and comment on it. I see what you mean when you talk about repetition in a poetic work. You are right about that. Repetition can be sometimes an advantage and sometimes an obstacle. I...http://www.englishforums.com/English/APoemMineWaiting/vjdqp/post.htm#392294Thu, 26 Mar 2009 18:16:57 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:392294Samarnh_p2http://www.englishforums.com/English/APoemMineWaiting/vjdqp/post.htm#392294http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments13-392294.xmlHi Tunisian, I'm Samarnh Pang from Mission College, Thailand. It's a great pleasure to have read your peom. You know I love the setting, mood, tone, and also the rhyme scheme. I read through your poem three times and decided to drop by. I think it's great if you may check or modify a little bit on the use of repitition. Normally, repetitions of a poetic work illustrates better on certian moods and tones of the author intentions. However, they are able to add up tention for reader, esepcially when a reader could not have images in mind. Besides, I appreciate that you use good symbolic items. Keep doing good job Tunisian. Actually, I love literature as you do.http://www.englishforums.com/English/APoemMineWaiting/vjdqp/post.htm#392118Tue, 26 May 2009 17:16:57 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:392118Sushi*3http://www.englishforums.com/English/APoemMineWaiting/vjdqp/post.htm#392118http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments13-392118.xmlDear Need.2.C.U: you first introduced yourself as Tunisian I think it's pretty brilliant when a non-native speaker tries to write something in a lang that is completely different from his own I am an Arabic speaker too, and I write poem in English too My opinion about your poem is that you -whithin the telling- show something to your reader When I read it first , I saw someone lying on the bed, heated by fever and suffering death pains then , when it goes to the day b4, about the birthday. you were absolutely pensive then , when she smiled at last, you were imaginative. I think, the poem smoothely moves from one point into another. the best lines I liked: Now, the doctor rises and turns, "To its creator, her soul...http://www.englishforums.com/English/APoemMineWaiting/vjdqp/post.htm#383790Thu, 26 Feb 2009 18:16:57 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:383790Need.2.C.U4http://www.englishforums.com/English/APoemMineWaiting/vjdqp/post.htm#383790http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments13-383790.xmlPoet Priya, thank you so much for your words. They really made me happy. It's great to know that you like my poem. I'm always trying to do my best to write good ones. I'm still a beginner at writing English poems but I know I can be better with people's encouragement and pieces of advice. Thank you!http://www.englishforums.com/English/APoemMineWaiting/vjdqp/post.htm#383684Mon, 26 Jan 2009 18:16:57 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:383684Poet Priya5http://www.englishforums.com/English/APoemMineWaiting/vjdqp/post.htm#383684http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments13-383684.xmli think its fantastic n really good, u r a nice n expressive poet u r able to express urself well ur poem is really good, keep it uphttp://www.englishforums.com/English/APoemMineWaiting/vjdqp/post.htm#381058Sun, 26 Apr 2009 17:16:57 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:381058Need.2.C.U6http://www.englishforums.com/English/APoemMineWaiting/vjdqp/post.htm#381058http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments13-381058.xmlThank you julielai for your explanation. Now I understand what you mean. But I think that if I will show instead of telling, I'll be then changing most of the poem if not all of it. I think that telling is ok with this poem. In fact, I wanted the whole poem from the beginning to be told by someone not shown. Anyway, your opinion is very important to me. What do you think?http://www.englishforums.com/English/APoemMineWaiting/vjdqp/post.htm#380719Thu, 26 Feb 2009 18:16:57 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:380719julielai7http://www.englishforums.com/English/APoemMineWaiting/vjdqp/post.htm#380719http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments13-380719.xmlAn example of show: He is trembling like a leaf. (His action speaks for itself.) An example of tell: He is afraid. (You're telling the readers that.)http://www.englishforums.com/English/APoemMineWaiting/vjdqp/post.htm#380641Thu, 26 Feb 2009 18:16:58 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:380641Need.2.C.U8http://www.englishforums.com/English/APoemMineWaiting/vjdqp/post.htm#380641http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments13-380641.xmlThank you for your comment, julielai. But excuse me, I don't think I really understand what you mean. Where exactly should I replace tell with show? Are you talking about this line? Why didn't I tell the world? Thank you again. It doesn't really matter if you are not an expert. What really matters is that you read my poem and had something to say about it. Waiting for more comments.http://www.englishforums.com/English/APoemMineWaiting/vjdqp/post.htm#379781Thu, 26 Feb 2009 18:16:58 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:379781julielai9http://www.englishforums.com/English/APoemMineWaiting/vjdqp/post.htm#379781http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments13-379781.xmlJust one comment: Show, not tell Disclaimer: I'm not exactly an expert around here.http://www.englishforums.com/English/APoemMineWaiting/vjdqp/post.htmThu, 26 Mar 2009 18:16:58 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:379455Need.2.C.U10http://www.englishforums.com/English/APoemMineWaiting/vjdqp/post.htmhttp://www.englishforums.com/English/comments13-379455.xmlHello everybody. I'm a Tunisian studying English in the university. I like to write English poems from time to time. I have lately written a poem but I still don't know how good it is. I hope you can help me. All comments are welcome. The poem is a bit long. Sorry! Death of a butterfly! Tension is high My eyes still cry Her lips are dry They say her soul will fly I know it's a lie But will she really die? *** Around me, I feel fears Beside me, I see tears In the room, I hear people praying Outside, I hear children playing This should be really a nightmare But no it's not and I'm not asleep *** She's sweating heavily Trembling out of fever I barely can stand steadily Having my own...