Re: Urgent! Please revise this letter for my new employer.

Nick147 — Thu, 09 Mar 2006 01:18:35 GMT

Hi Vincent,

Here is your letter tidied up with any errors corrected:

Dear Tim Garland & Wendy Luc,

Thank you for the opportunity to discuss the position of Web Programmer with you. Our meeting helped me to better understand your company’s goals and reaffirmed my belief that this is the organization I would like to work for.

Although I’m ranked second among the three candidates, I would like you to reconsider my application to be the person to hire and at the same time give me a chance to work as a long term employee, not just to benefit the development team, but also the company itself.

I may have made a mistake in showing too much of the Front End Materials in the interview, as I also have experience in Back End Programming which I didn’t show to you [discuss with you ?]. Consequently I can understand that you doubt if I am the right candidate your organization is looking for. To confirm, I come from a programming background and from a Programming College, APIIT [this only makes sense if APIIT is the name of the college] and I successfully developed a prototype E-Commerce system for my Final Year Project using ASP, VB Script, SQL and DBMS. I have also integrated multimedia elements with Back End Programming Languages and a designed web layout to make an E-Commerce System package. I can bring this project with me if you would consider inviting me for a second interview.

I am a fast self learner, I am confident that I can easily pick up any Programming Language in a short space of time, accomplishing this during the few weeks needed to complete the hiring process. I would therefore be ready to undertake your work as per your requirements from any agreed start date..

Now that I have seen you, I would like to say that I very much liked the group of people and I am enthusiatic about working with them. I would also be prepared to discuss starting with a lower salary than advertised. I would appreciate it very much if you would reconsider my application.
I hope to hear from you soon, and would be pleased to meet with you again for another interview.

Sincerely,
Vincent

I have removed the sentences towards the end saying "dont you want to hire someone like this?" etc as this reads like you are hectoring he prospective employer, which they definitely won't like!

I hope you find this helpful - Nick

Urgent! Please revise this letter for my new employer.

vincent tee — Mon, 06 Mar 2006 09:39:50 GMT

Hi English Forum Tutors.

I'm a fresh graduate with 1 year experience. I would like you to check on my grammar and is there anything I need to add or extract from the letter below. This letter will be forwarded to my new employer. Thank you so much for your help.

Dear Tim Garland & Wendy Luc,

Although I’m ranked second among the three candidates, I would like you to reconsider about my application again to be the right person you would like to hire and at the same time giving me a chance to work as a long term employee, not just to benefit the development team but also the company.

I made some mistakes by showing too much of Front End Materials in the interview as I’ve the experience in Back End Programming Knowledge too which I didn’t show. With all that, I could clearly see that you doubt if I were the right candidate your organization is looking for. To reaffirm your confidence, I came from a programming background and from a Programming College, APIIT and I’ve done a prototype E-Commerce system for my Final Year Project using ASP, VB Script, SQL and DBMS. The project was a success, but not only that, I’ve integrated multimedia elements with Back End Programming Languages and a properly designed web layout to make it as a whole package of an E-Commerce System. The project is available to be shown if you would like to invite me for a 2^nd interview.

As I’m a fast and a self learner, I would say I could easily pick up any Programming Languages and learn them in a fast pace. 2-3 weeks will be needed for my refresh, by that time the hiring processes (signing offer letter, medical report, HR processing, etc) will take longer than that, so I’ve retrained myself to accomplish your work and am capable to handle the job as per your requirements and lead Your Company to success.

I’m a hardworking, someone with a sense of humor, a competent young man, have the ability to product, a self learner and easily mix around with new people. I would say its better to think for a long term employee instead of a short term. Don’t you want to hire somebody like this?

As I’ve seen in the interview, I would like to say I love the group of people and have the enthusiasm to work with them.

Since I’m eagerly looking for a job because I have to pay up my mortgage, it would be appreciate if you guys to help me up and reconsider my application. I don’t mind to start with a lower salary that you’ve decided to pay for the first candidate. I hope to hear from you soon, and would be pleased to meet with you again for another interview.

Sincerely,
Vincent

ESL, Formal, General & Business Letter Writing (English language)

Re: Urgent! Please revise this letter for my new employer.

Urgent! Please revise this letter for my new employer.