ESL, Formal, General & Business Letter Writing (English language)

Re: yet another Letter of Motivation to be ispected under the magnifying gl

Lil' Ruby Rose — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 16:43:30 GMT

You're welcome - and best of luck with your application.

Re: yet another Letter of Motivation to be ispected under the magnifying gl

Zargon — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 10:26:48 GMT

Lil' Ruby Rose, I wanted to thank thank you earlier,but I didnt make it, because of the application deadline.

I very very much thank you and all the others english masterminds, who selflessly help us !!! You are all great!

Keep the spirit.

Re: yet another Letter of Motivation to be ispected under the magnifying glass

Lil' Ruby Rose — Fri, 12 Jan 2007 18:58:30 GMT

I am writing to apply as an exchange student for the Communication Design Program at the School of Architecture and Design for the fall semester 2008. I am a Bulgarian student attending my third semester of "Digital Media" studies at the University of Applied Science in Bremen, Germany. Since I would like to devote my life to improving intercultural communication by means of interactive art and media, I strongly believe that the experience of studying abroad will help me to further develop myself and my knowledge.

My flair for arts is by blood. in my blood. I grew up in my motherâs atelier, who is an artist herself, getting to know all different kinds of art. [Sounds a little clunky. Could you say: My mother is an artist, and I grew up in her studio (atelier only used if she is a dressmaker or works in couture)] During my high school years, I supported my mother with developing trademarks for different companies. My task was the technical realization on computer, thus I could easily learn the fundamentals of conventional and professional software.

A decisive step for my further evolution [not quite the right word here] was the year I spent as an exchange student in the eleventh grade in Germany. During this year I took part in diverse seminars organized by YFU (Youth For Understanding), which whose main goal was to make communication between cultures easier. The most important seminar I took part in was "Communication and Media", which was held ran for two weeks in Berlin. I visited some of the biggest news agencies and print houses and actively took part in the working process of printing a magazine issue. This experience of communicating with people from different cultures bent [not the right word - what did you mean here?]with the media impressions [not sure of your meaning - media contacts, perhaps?] I made, clearly pointed out my future way direction

After graduating high school I was self-dependent independent and self-confident enough to carry out my studies in a foreign country. Considering my affinity to arts and languages I applied for "Digital Media", because it combines both design and media competence. I experienced my first year as a great inspiration.The first year was a great inspiration to me. In the first and second term we learnt the fundamentals of design and computer science by means of theoretical and practical exercises. Courses like "Theory of Media" and "Media Engineering" have put the basis of forged my understanding what media actually is.
As I consider myself more as of an art ['art' generally means 'fine art', 'arts' encompasses new media studies] student I have focused on lectures at the University of Applied Arts in the current third semester. I have enrolled in a bachelor-project for the Syne-Institute (part of this university), which ends in summer 2008. We have an assignment to build up create a new identity[or image? logo?] of for a local Radio and TV sender. broadcaster? service? I am really enjoying the process of bringing up [not the right word here] a new image [not quite sure what you mean here?]of a company: briefing, analyzing, developing and presenting ideas for a real client.

Working on various projects, reading, and holding out giving / making presentations, made me realize how essential media and digital technology are nowadays. I am permanently seeking challenges and trying to find a way not just to be a part of this modern world, but actively change it. I have a clear vision for what I want to achieve through my study - I want to be able to create innovative, interactive and entertaining systems for the different walks of life [not quite the right phrase here]. I am confident in my personality and my skills, but I recognized that my knowledge in some areas is limited. I therefore have chosen your program, because it suits my interests and needs most.

I have carefully read the descriptions of your courses and since I am attracted from to the topic of design and communication, I have found [using the past tense here implies you have already taken these courses. Perhaps say, I would find ]the following highly interesting: âDesign, Media and Cultureâ, âCommunication and Interactionâ, âProduction Process of Communication Designâ and âCombining Mediaâ. I would like to visit take / follow these courses [I think in AmE you could say classes here to avoid repetition - check with one of the native US speakers on the site?] , because they will enrich my knowledge and help me put it bring it to a higher standard [or, help me deepen my understanding ]. It would be a great pleasure for me to study in Thailand, not only because of the course variety. I am eager to meet experience such a distant culture [perhaps, a culture so different from my own] and take the best make the most of the time I ~~will~~ spend there.

I hope will you consider my application and can regard will view me as a favorable candidate to for this program.

Yours faithfully,
Ivan Yanev

yet another Letter of Motivation to be ispected under the magnifying glass

Zargon — Fri, 12 Jan 2007 18:31:29 GMT

Dear Friends,
I desperately need some help on my Motivation Letter, as I haven`t spoken/written a word in English since I started learning German and that`s years now...
I just want to underline how important this letter for my study is, since I am obligated to have a foreign semester in order to finish my bachelor degree.

I`m a bit unsure about the letter. I find it huge, nevertheless I just don`t know what I could drop. Secondly there are too much iterations and some expressions (all in italics) for which I can`t find a solution.
So you are my last hope... here it is :

Dear Sir or Madam,

My flair for arts is by blood. I grew up in my motherâs atelier, who is an artist herself, getting to know all different kinds of art. During my high school years, I supported my mother with developing trademarks for different companies. My task was the technical realization on computer, thus I could easily learn the fundamentals of conventional and professional software.

A decisive step for my further evolution was the year I spent as an exchange student in the eleventh grade in Germany. During this year I took part in diverse seminars organized by YFU (Youth For Understanding), which main goal was to make communication between cultures easier. The most important seminar I took part in was "Communication and Media", which was held two weeks in Berlin. I visited some of the biggest news agencies and print houses and took actively part in the working process of printing a magazine issue. This experience of communicating with people from different cultures bent with the media impressions I made, clearly pointed out my future way.

After graduating high school I was self-dependent enough to carry out my studies in a foreign country. Considering my affinity to arts and languages I applied for "Digital Media", because it combines both design and media competence. I experienced my first year as a great inspiration. In the first and second term we learnt the fundamentals of design and computer science by means of theoretical and practical exercises. Courses like "Theory of Media" and "Media Engineering" have put the basis of understanding what actually media is.
As I consider myself more as an art student I have focused on lectures at the University of Applied Arts in the current third semester. I have enrolled in a bachelor-project for the Syne-Institute (part of this university), which ends in summer 2008. We have an assignment to build up a new identity of a local Radio and TV sender. I am really enjoying the process of bringing up a new image of a company: briefing, analyzing, developing and presenting ideas for a real client.

Working on various projects, reading and holding out presentations, made me realize how essential media and digital technology nowadays are. I am permanently seeking challenges and try to find a way not just to be a part of this modern world, but actively change it. I have a clear vision for what I want to achieve through my study - I want to be able to create innovative, interactive and entertaining systems for the different walks of life. I am confident in my personality and my skills, but I recognized that my knowledge in some areas is limited. I therefore have chosen your program, because it suits my interests and needs most.

I have carefully read the descriptions of your courses and since I am attracted from the topic of design and communication, I have found the following highly interesting: âDesign, Media and Cultureâ, âCommunication and Interactionâ, âProduction Process of Communication Designâ and âCombining Mediaâ. I would like to visit these courses, because they will enrich my knowledge and help me put it to a higher standard. It would be a great pleasure for me to study in Thailand, not only because of the course variety. I am eager to meet such a distant culture and take the best of the time I will spend there.

I hope you consider my application and can regard me as a favorable candidate to this program.

Yours faithfully,
Ivan Yanev

There`s another thing. I have to upload the letter by Sunday evening, so I`m pretty much out of time.
I thank you in advance for your time and nervs.