ESL, Formal, General & Business Letter Writing (English language)

Re: Please smbd check my motivation letter :)

Lil' Ruby Rose — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 19:27:16 GMT

Not at all, Fragile - it was a good first draft. Please don't be discouraged - and please be confident in posting it again if you want someone to have a look at your next draft.

LRR

Re: Please smbd check my motivation letter :)

Anonymous — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 08:28:39 GMT

Thank you very much... it is sad that my english is soooo horrible.. I'll have to work harder... thanks.

Re: Please smbd check my motivation letter :)

Lil' Ruby Rose — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 17:01:47 GMT

Hi Fragile - this needs a bit of work, I think. It's quite hard to follow what you mean in places.

Dear Sir or Madam,

Motivation Letter for ..... project

I would like to apply for ..... program.

As I am going to graduate from high-school next year, I have begun thinking about different universities both in Lithuania and abroad. I believe that a person cannot trip up in choosing his future. [Don't understand what you mean here] All my life I have been interested in Maths but I have never wanted to study it, that is why I have chosen to relate my life with [settled on?] Economics that looks more attractive to me. [This sentence doesn't quite make sense - do you mean that Economics is more interesting to you?]

There are many reasons why I would like to participate in your program. First of all, the student shadow project is an excellent chance for me to try to be a student of .... for one day. Secondly, it is [what are you talking about here?]a good opportunity to see your teaching ways,[wrong word] atmosphere inside [to experience the atmosphere at ...], and to deny/prove talk [I don't understand what you mean here] about this university. Thirdly, if I applied for ..... after a year it could be a good motivation for me [to do what?].

I know that ~~any~~ participation in any project all the time [??]gives ~~any~~ valuable life experience. This is why I always try to be at the end of oneâs resources.[I'm sorry, but this doesn't make any sense to me]

Looking forward to hearing from you soon.[This is very informal. You might prefer: "I look forward to hearing from you"]

Yours sincerely,

Please smbd check my motivation letter :)

Fragile — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 08:25:46 GMT

hello

I have to send to one university very short motivation letter for participation in one project. As I'm from Lithuania my English is not excellent, please smb check this letter and correct my mistakes ...

Thankful.

Motivation Letter for ..... project

Dear Sir or Madam,

I would like to apply for ..... program.

As I am going to be a high-school graduate next year I started wondering about different universities both in Lithuania and abroad. I believe that person cannot trip up in choosing his future. All my life I was interested in Maths but I have never wanted to study it, that is why I have chosen to relate my life with Economics that looks more attractive for me.

There are many reasons why I would like to participate in your program. First of all,

student shadow project is excellent chance for me to try to be a student of .... for one day. Also, it is good opportunity to see your teaching ways, atmosphere inside, to deny/prove talk about this university. Thirdly, if I applied for ..... after a year it could be a good motivation for me.

I know that any participation in any project all the time brings any experience for life. This is why I always try to be at the end of oneâs resources.

Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

........