ESL, Formal, General & Business Letter Writing (English language)

Re: What is wrong with this CV?

Anonymous — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 22:07:14 GMT

Hi, I'm portuguese too.. I was looking for something related with languages when I found this message. If you are still sending CVs, you might want to consider revising it...specially by using active verbs at the beginning of the sentences. Check at <url removed by mod.> the vault resume and cover letter guide!

Boa sorte!

Abraco

Re: What is wrong with this CV?

Anonymous — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 09:28:50 GMT

Is there any general guideline on using "in" or "on" in this context? I have noticed that was my most common error.

Thank you.

Re: What is wrong with this CV?

Anonymous — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 11:52:09 GMT

Thank you once more for your help. I am going to post another part of my CV soon after doing similar corrections you did.

Re: What is wrong with this CV?

Clive — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 22:58:23 GMT

Hi,

I have been using my CV around for some months, and suddenly, an HR agent asked me to correct âseveralâ grammatical errors in it. I have asked an English-speaking friend to review it. But, as I have added some changes or updates, I may have introduce some errors.

Would you please review it? I have posted only its first part. I donât want to abuse from your patience.

I am very curious to know what is wrong with it. Please, focus only on the English grammar and not in template, model and so on.

Disregard some technical IT acronyms.

Thanks a million.

////////////////////////////////////////

AREA

BUSINESS INTELLIGENCE / DATA WAREHOUSING CONSULTING

EDUCATION

Computer Science Bachelor Degree

*** University of ***, 1994 ~ 1997.

SKILLS SUMMARY

* 12 years in IT industry: consultancies and software vendors.

* Customer facing experience <<< say this another way on pre-sales, project, delivery, and support roles.

* Ability to discuss technical issues with business approach (ROI, TCO, SLA, SabOx, SOA)

* Experience as DBA, Analyst and Developer on projects in several industries: banking, telecom, retail, health insurance, energy, marketing and public sector.

* Blue chip company experience: ACME, XYZ, XPTO.

BUSINESS INTELLIGENCE EXPERIENCE

* As pre-sales: POCâs definition, building and presentation. Business value propositions.

* Business requirements analysis and specifications definition.

* Data analysis and modeling: designing data warehouse models, facts, dimensions, star schemas, using Kimball methodology.

* ETL: data sources definitions, data transformations and loads, mappings.

* Deployment: BI tools, apps and data warehouse database installation, schema and metadata deployment, initial loads, database tuning, and ETL jobs scheduling.

INTERESTS

* Project Management

* Financial Industry

* BI&W, BPM, EPM

PERSONAL

* Consulting and costumer facing experience. <<< sounds like you worked in the fashion industry

* Self-studying. Analytical and problem solving skills.

* Dynamic, team player, flexible.

* EU Citizen. EU passport holder. Travel availability.

LANGUAGE SKILLS

* Portuguese: native language.

* Spanish: fluent reading and good conversational level.

best wishes, Clive

What is wrong with this CV?

Anonymous — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 17:57:51 GMT

Hi all,

Would you please review it? I have posted only its first part. I donât want to abuse from your patience.

I am very curious to know what is wrong with it. Please, focus only on the English grammar and not in template, model and so on.

Disregard some technical IT acronyms.

Thanks a million.

////////////////////////////////////////

AREA

BUSINESS INTELLIGENCE / DATA WAREHOUSING CONSULTING

EDUCATION

Computer Science Bachelor Degree

*** University of ***, 1994 ~ 1997.

SKILLS SUMMARY

* 12 years on IT industry: consultancies and software vendors.

* Customer facing experience on pre sales, project, delivery, and support roles.

* Ability to discuss technical issues with business approach (ROI, TCO, SLA, SabOx, SOA)

* Experience as DBA, Analyst and Developer in projects on several industries: banking, telecom, retail, health insurance, energy, marketing and public sector.

* Blue chip company experience: ACME, XYZ, XPTO.

BUSINESS INTELLIGENCE EXPERIENCE

* As pre sales: POCâs definition, building and presentation. Business value propositions.

* Business requirements analysis and specifications definition.

* Data analysis and modeling: designing data warehouse models, facts, dimensions, star schemas, using Kimball methodology.

* ETL: data sources definitions, data transformations and loads, mappings.

* Deployment: BI tools, apps and data warehouse database installation, schema and metadata deployment, initial loads, database tuning, and ETL jobs scheduling.

INTERESTS

* Project Management

* Financial Industry

* BI&W, BPM, EPM

PERSONAL

* Consulting and costumer facing experience.

* Self-studying. Analytical and problem solving skills.

* Dynamic, team player, flexible.

* EU Citizen. EU passport holder. Travel availability.

LANGUAGE SKILLS

* Portuguese: native language.

* Spanish: fluent reading and good conversational level.

////////////////////////////////////////