Re: Please help Urgent - Letter to Human Resource

noob_plz_dun_laugh — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 04:56:13 GMT

This is a classic case of a non-English speaker unfamiliar with the idioms of the English language. Of course, this is entirely not your fault because it is not your first language. Instead of correcting this letter, I suggest you improve on your overall usage of vocabulary in the English language. Reading English books such as novels, prep books for TOEFL, idioms, grammar will help as well as watching English movies as well.

One tip I would like to let you know. In the English society, "communication skills" are very important. What does "communication skills" mean? It means how to express your deepest emotions, interests, and objectives in the most boring and unemotional way possible so that your target audience does not think you're an emotional nutcase.

If you're looking for an increased pay, you may say things such as "My performance has been held steady by the support of this organization and your continued support in the future will reinforce the confidence I have in my abilities. Thus, I feel that being a valuable asset to the organization may entitle me to the same benefits as the other workers that have made the growth of the organization possible."

Good luck buddy.

Please help Urgent - Letter to Human Resource

vincent tee — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 06:02:56 GMT

Hi English Guru, I am pretty poor in English. Could someone please help to comment & refine my letter below to the HR in a more gently way of expressing? (grammar mistakes and restructuring of sentences) Many Thanks!!

Dear Human Resource,

Fist of all it is a great opportunity working for BAT for the past 2 years and thank you for considering my transition from the project team to support. There are few important points that I need to emphasize for your understanding. Actually, it isnât important for BAT to review my current rate because RM6300 was an outdated 2 years ago charges and this rate was agreed to only within a specific job requirement however I have work way above these requirements. I would like to confer in order for both parties to reach a win-win agreement based on a conclusive justification.

From my investigation, I have approached people who work in this particular industry (from a BW Project Manager, other BW Consultants and a headhunter) commenting my current rate as a contractor for BW Consultant specializing in Front End is really not at par with industry standard. On top of that from what I am working now is beyond the agreed job scope, providing services not only for Programming but also BW Support, BW R&D Development, Graphics, Multimedia and also Training Management to all Asia Pacific regions. I have contributed beyond the previous agreed job requirements for all BAT Projects yet my current employer dosen't know about this issue. These values contributing to the organization will determine that I am worth more than I should.

I have fought for all project completion with success and met all datelines, sometimes till midnight yet no overtime charges being paid. Therefore, if the company were to bond my service for another one year or two, if the organization gives nothing but just low remuneration (a net pay) to the individual, what motivation is there to encourage the individual to give back to the organization more than the simple completion of allotted work?

With all the justification mentioned above, I am looking for mutual benefits for both, BAT and myself. What BAT concern, is to pay my rate according to my skill set, 7 years of experience in IT sector and appropriate rate based industry standards for contractors and I will do my best to contribute my experience, talents, skills and abilities to the organization and the team. An appropriate market rate will be RM400 to RM500 per day or RM8,500 per month.

Yours Sincerely,
Vincent

ESL, Formal, General & Business Letter Writing (English language)

Re: Please help Urgent - Letter to Human Resource

Please help Urgent - Letter to Human Resource