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Re: Social anxiety+poor English=failure

CARAMEL — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 19:34:46 GMT

My case is somewhat similar to akstylish but I donât consider it as social anxiety. In reality, I feel shyness if Iâll talk with someone new to me, I become anxiety or worried of which questions or answers should I response to this person, I can interact with anyone if he/she first speaks with me. Sometimes, I envied those who have good social relationships with others and who could speak with anyone freely, daringly and without anxious; like he knows this person for a long time. I only feel relaxed with those who I know better like my sisters and brothers; however, if Iâll meet another person, Iâll be calm and quite. I donât use medications to treat my problem because it is not a disease, it is something related to my inner side and Iâm the only one who could change this. I listen to various advices from my family and my friends to be brave and able to speak openly without feeling afraid of the person who I will speak to, but my problem is not in speaking otherwise in being the first person to speak up. Iâve graduated from the college but I havenât any work experience, I hadnât worked before, my family said if I could find a job and try to meet new people in order to break up this barrier of feeling shy; because all the time Iâm with my family and thus if any time there is someone new, I became calm.

Re: Social anxiety+poor English=failure

akstylish — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 22:12:46 GMT

Thank you everyone. I feel a lot better now. :)

Re: Social anxiety+poor English=failure

Kooyeen — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 21:42:24 GMT

Hi, and welcome to englishforums.

akstylish
However, I've already been on therapy on medications for years and tried my best to get out of social anxiety. There's gotta be at least some improvement to keep me trying. Now it's time to go back, and my English and social anxiety got even worse.

That takes a lot of time. And if you don't see a significant improvement, chances are you are following the wrong method. Finding what works for yourself is not easy. Improving English takes years, but I see from your level that you are at the right point... You don't use very basic English, so from this point on you can actually improve faster. Little by little, starting from this English you know now, you can go on and learn new words, new idioms, etc. Just keep learning, and practicing, trying to avoid mistakes, if you can.
You can always improve, it's just a matter of finding the right way. Even if you fail because of some mistakes, you'll gain experience.

And you can stay here on Englishforums, and ask questions, try to answer, just chat, practice, etc... read... see how others improve and learn... Trust me, this is probably the best online community for those who want to improve their English.
And good luck.

Re: Social anxiety+poor English=failure

Tanit — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 21:21:05 GMT

Hi.

akstylish
By the way, you might be thinking my writing skills aren't so bad

Yep! That's exactly what I thought. Your writing (both grammar and style) is much, much better than mine, and I (a non-native) earned my MSc in the UK.

So don't give up, go back to your studies and concentrate on them. I am absolutely positive that every little bit of success in your exams will help you regain self-confidence and get over your anxiety.

If you should need any help with your English, here there are a lot of helpful and supportive teachers and native speakers. As you have probably understood from OMG's post, you can count on their help.

Welcome to the forums!

Re: Social anxiety+poor English=failure

akstylish — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 20:46:18 GMT

Thank you. :) I'll ask questions as often as I can.

Re: Social anxiety+poor English=failure

Old Man Gordon — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 14:56:37 GMT

Welcome akstylish!

Venting is good sometimes. I don't have any experience with either social anxiety or poor English, so I'll just say that some of us are listening, and we care. We can at least help you with the English part.

omg

Social anxiety+poor English=failure

akstylish — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 07:44:22 GMT

Hello there. Let me introduce myself first.

I'm an Asian-American who went to South Korea one month after I was born in the U.S. Then I came back 5 years ago when I was a high school freshman, so I had to learn English from scratch. For the first few months my English improved pretty well, but I hadn't made any close friend and things started going bad. I became more and more shy and was eventually diagnosed with social anxiety one year later. During my high school years I only made some acquaintances and rarely hung out with anyone. I slowly developed depression as well and once attempted suicide by taking 60 sleeping pills.

Fortunately I was still able to keep the GPA and SAT scores high enough to get into a moderate college(GA Tech). My parents and relatives kept telling me life in college campus is way better than high school life despite academic pressure and told me to rest assured everything will get better.

They couldn't be more wrong.

My anxiety was so bad at that point that I could barely breathe and my whole body became stiff wherever I could see someone or vice versa. And I had to walk around buildings and streets filled with hundreds of people everyday. Even in my dorm room I couldn't relax because I had a roommate. I got so depressed during the first week I just had to hide somewhere and cry, yet there was nowhere to. I also began to have difficulty concentrating, and it took me 5 minutes to read ONE page. On top of that my English skills were about the same as back when I was a high school freshman for the obvious reason(except grammar), so I got F's on every essay for English. After a month I lost my motivation to study and failed in other classes as well.

I eventually decided to withdraw from school and concentrate on treating social anxiety and improving English at home for the following semester. However, I've already been on therapy on medications for years and tried my best to get out of social anxiety. There's gotta be at least some improvement to keep me trying. So I've been wasting my life doing nothing but websurfing and sleeping at home this entire semester. Now it's time to go back, and my English and social anxiety got even worse.(I probably spoke to someone in English thirty times or so for the last 6 months)

Well, that's my story. Just venting here...I didn't really mean to write this for advice(I've already asked for help to so many people), but I'd appreciate it.

(By the way, you might be thinking my writing skills aren't so bad. Trust me, it is terrible. It's just that for some reason my first post on a forum is always the best. Plus, it takes me hours to write a post this long.)