Re: I am rusty after 25 years. I need essay(argument) correction

Mister Micawber — Thu, 14 Jul 2005 14:36:00 GMT

This is generally fine. There are a few things that need repair:

learning it (comma)
gang related (hyphen)
hips allowing (comma)
shirt and (comma)
where the focus is (delete all except 'focus')
News âA (punctuate or restructure the clause)
comment, (no comma here or at the other end)
show (shows)
styles that accentuates
code there (comma)
child sense
Parents would find most parents (huh??)
the cage with a lion (a lion's cage)
means, to (no comma)
decisions, about (no comma)
decisions of (on)
by ways of
students choice (apostrophe)
based own
on by studying
what is issue (a misquote?)
if the decision of what to wear to school was cut (were)
Stated on BlueSuitMom.com... (this sentence is not a sentence)
peer approved (hyphen)
defiantly (wrong word)
out weigh (one word)
in who has the best clothes (of who-- and add a comma)
be able to focus (delete all except 'focus')
students (apostrophe)
TheEducation
Beach California comma)
uniforms since (semicolon)
percent; (comma)

I am rusty after 25 years. I need essay(argument) correction

Anonymous — Tue, 12 Jul 2005 21:02:11 GMT

The issue of school uniforms has been an ongoing topic for several years. In a busy world full of distractions, it is increasingly hard to keep students and parents focused on what the function of school is supposed to be. Instead of the focus being on learning it is often on how other people are dressed, what brand of clothes they are wearing, how much they dress like their idols, or what gang related colors they are wearing. A television ad described on theEducation Week website shows a mother tugging her teenage daughterâs jeans down to her hips allowing her midriff to show below her shirt and then telling her âNow thatâs the way you do itâ (qtd. in Northrop, 1). Even though the desire to fit in socially is only natural, it is often confusing, stressful, expensive and counterproductive to a good learning environment. Many people are concerned about the loss of individuality and freedom with the use of school uniforms, but uniforms can help control where the focus is while students are in the classroom by reducing stress, giving equality in some social areas, reducing distractions and still maintaining freedom for individuality.

The majority of people that disagree with the use of school uniforms, in public schools, are the students. WJHG Headline News âA handgun the size of a large cell phone can easily be concealed, and since you cannot regulate my bust size, or my thighs, your purpose is misguidedâ quoted Michelle Bullard, a senior at Rutherford High School. (qtd. in Local School Uniforms 4). This was her comment to the Bay County School Board. Even though this comment is valid, it does not really give a valid reason not to have school uniforms. The purpose is not just to keep delinquents from bringing weapons to school, but also to make people who do not belong on campus easier to spot. The comment, on hiding guns in clothing and size of bust and thighs, show the negative influence already inflicted on this student by the present situation in school. Uniforms come in any size and can accommodate all chest sizes and thigh sizes. Uniforms of the same color and similar style would help by not accentuating the difference in sizes of students. Shirts that do not cover the midriff area or styles that accentuates large bust would not be a problem if there were school uniforms. This student obviously does not want her freedom taken away. However if the students, as a whole, were mature enough to adhere to the present and sensible dress code there would be no need for the discussion of uniforms. The lack of adherence to the present, but ineffective, dress code is exactly the reason the school system is pushing for uniforms.

Some parents are concerned that the use of school uniforms would hinder their child sense of individuality or freedom. Parents would find most parents would not let their child have the freedom to jump from a high building, stick their hand on a hot stovetop or crawl in the cage with a lion. These situations are not equal by any means, to the example of freedom to dress the way they want, but they are pertinent. It is unfortunate that some parents think that their school age children are mature enough to make decisions, about appropriate clothing, when they are not. It is also unfortunate when some parents do not know what is appropriate to wear to school. Most students base their wardrobe decisions of popularity and not on individuality. Children and even some adults find the need to mimic others in how they dress. Secondary schools are constantly fighting to keep a check on the raging adolescent hormones by ways of trying to forbid skimpy dress choices like bare midriffs (Northrop, 2). The students choice on clothing is often based own drawing attention. Students should focus on the curriculum while they are at school. They should not be focusing on what they wear or what their fellow students wear. Students can learn individuality through their work and creativity in school projects while at school. They cannot learn individuality on by studying what their fellow students are wearing. âIf something as simple as the uniform appearance of children in an educational setting could even possibly improve academic achievement, behavior, and reduce episodes of violenceâ¦ then exactly what is issue of the debate? When does common sense get introduced into the equationâ (qtd. in In Support 2)?

We could all live better lives without stress. Parents have the stress of dealing with home, work, and children. Even though some children would initially disagree with having to wear school uniforms, they would eventually adjust to the idea. It would be less stressful for both parent and child if the decision of what to wear to school was cut out of the picture. Parents just have to remember how to be parents and who is supposed to be in charge. Stated on BlueSuitMom.com âAugust 2000 (Newstream) -- This fall, more public schools will turn to student uniforms to reduce the teasing and bullying that can lead to the kind of hostility and tension feared by many parents, educators and kids todayâ( Public School Dress Codes 1). Despite the article being a few years old, it is still current in logic. Crime and hostility seems to be a growing problem in the arena of schools. Children and parents could use a break from the stress of violence. âSchool kids are usually ridiculed if they arenât wearing the right brand of peer approved clothes. In some cases, this rejection can lead to aggressive evil acts or suicide,â notes family therapist Carleton Kendrick of Familyeducation.com (qtd. in Public School Dress Codes 2). School uniforms would defiantly help reduce the social stress of peer pressure over clothing. This would be a positive point for both the parent and the child.

Despite the valid concerns about school uniforms in the public school system, the benefits out weigh the pitfalls. Most parentsâ main concern is for the welfare of their children. They truly do want what is best for them. Students can be encouraged to be the best that they can be. Teachers and parents should assure them that they are important for who they are. They are not important for whom they can imitate. This will give them a sense of individuality. Take away the stress of peer pressure, in who has the best clothes and they will grow up with more confidence. This will give them more of the feeling of equality. Take away the distraction of students dressing for attention and they will focus better on their education. This will help the teachers be able to focus on the individual students personal traits and recognize where they may need help. TheEducation Commission of the States web site states, âPositive effects from implementing a school uniform policy were citied in the U.S. Department of Education Manual of School Uniformsâ¦â (Uniform and Dress Codes 4). The debate on school uniforms seems to have valid arguments on both sides. Nevertheless, the proven facts are in the evidence. The schools that have used uniforms have had good results. In 1995, a school in Long Beach California mandated uniforms since that time overall crime has dropped by 91 percent, suspensions are down 90 percent; sex offenses are down 96 percent, and vandalism down 69 percent (Chaterjee 2). School uniforms are not the answer to all problems in school but they are a logical step in the right direction.

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Re: I am rusty after 25 years. I need essay(argument) correction

I am rusty after 25 years. I need essay(argument) correction