ESL Essay, Writing World

Re: Merely exchanging information

julielai — Mon, 06 Feb 2006 19:13:55 GMT

I'm here, Dmitrij. Nice to see you again.

Sounds like you did well. Good for you. Congrats. Many of my Chinese friends can't score that high.

I think you'll find a burning desire to write when you have the urge to express your feelings. I sometimes do--when I get mad at an article in a newspaper, I write to the editor.

PS. By the way, I don't remember any heated discussion with you. :-)

Re: Merely exchanging information

Dmitrij — Mon, 06 Feb 2006 15:04:01 GMT

Hi everybody,

You know, my grand plan actually was to help myself and, of course, people secure themselves from an unpredicted outcome during their IELTS exam. Your forum due to its remarkable organization and highly educated English teachers has become a perfect place for me to share my ideas with essayists all over the world and get necessary advice.

Nobody asked me to provide a paper from the IELTS Examination Board confirming my English skills. Surfing the Internet I just came across some information about IELTS and found passing this exam to be quite a competitive task to undertake. About 3 months the preparation to IELTS had been occupying my mind and all my free time. It was really great. Now it is over - no time pressure, no sleepless nights in attempts to work out something useful, no heated discussions with Julielai (By the way, where are you, Julielai?). The mission completed.

I confess, I miss you guys. Seems like there are no stimuli to go on. But my love to English writing is still alive. I just don't know what to write and what for.

Faithfully yours,

Dmitrij.

Re: Merely exchanging information

Mister Micawber — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 12:12:13 GMT

Good plan, Dmitrij. What is next on your agenda?

Re: Merely exchanging information

Dmitrij — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 07:49:53 GMT

Hi Mr. Micawber,

Glad to hear from you. My Overall Band Score totalled to 7,5 considering 7,5 in Writing, 7 in Listening, 7 in Reading and 8 in Speaking. I had planned to get something like that so my expectations came true. Although, I think I could have scored better in Writing should I decide not to write such short sentenses for the safety's sake.

Dmitrij.

Re: Merely exchanging information

Mister Micawber — Thu, 02 Feb 2006 11:05:38 GMT

7.5 out of 9 sounds pretty good to me, Dmitrij. Congratulations. What was your Overall Band Score?

Re: Merely exchanging information

Dmitrij — Thu, 02 Feb 2006 07:28:54 GMT

Hi everybody,

Long time since I saw you last. I just forgot to say that I had passed my IELTS on 15 October in Moscow and got 7,5 in the writing section. It is up to you to decide whether the result is good or bad. I am satisfied - the score is all I need for all practical purposes. Let me thank all of you for the great fun I have had communicating with you. Well, my strategy works and I felt relaxed knowing there would be no dead ends when you have a good plan in mind.

Wish you luck!

Dmitrij.

Re: Merely exchanging information

Dmitrij — Fri, 23 Sep 2005 21:58:54 GMT

Hi everybody,

It is another essay.

TASK

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. Attending a live performance (for example a play, concert or sporting event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answers.

ESSAY

Whether to attend a live event or stay at home to watch it on TV depends ultimately on your character. Some people dislike the thought of joining the army of concertgoers; others would never miss the chance. As for me, I think the benefits of watching an event on TV far outweigh those of going out for a live performance.

There are several negatives to attending live shows that make it a tough experience. The problems may arise at the very beginning. Some pessimism appears when your ticket shows that you are a happy owner of the seat 137 in the 48th row. Everything in the distance further than 50 meters looks quite fuzzy unless you are wisely equipped with binoculars. Then, probably, you might be dismayed if you lose the battle against eager fans at the entrance of a stadium or a concert hall. Once again, you never feel that your adventures are over as you have got into your seat. You might be surprised to find out that your neighbour is a pretty unpleasant subject muffling performers with roars of dissatisfaction.

On the other hand, people who prefer television broadcasts are easily understood. First of all, confessed TV watchers value tranquility of their home environment. They enjoy a concert or sporting event surrounded by their family members or close friends. Secondly, they say that the atmosphere at home is more democratic than at the stadium. You may say what you think about the performers without any fear of falling into a fierce confrontation turning eventually into a fight. Finally, watching a show on TV is the best value for money. You donât have to buy tickets while you are surfing TV channels for an interesting event.

The world is beautiful through its diversity. People who love attending live shows will assert their inclination with good arguments. My own opinion is that watching a performance on TV is safer, more comfortable and much cheaper kind of entertainment.

Feel free to comment.

Regards,

Dmitrij.

Re: Merely exchanging information

julielai — Fri, 23 Sep 2005 16:48:03 GMT

No, by all means continue. We can all use the tips. :-)

Re: Merely exchanging information

Anonymous — Fri, 23 Sep 2005 14:23:41 GMT

Hi everyone,

Yes, it is another IELTS exersize. I might continue unless you want me to stop.

I don't mean to bother you often, though.

Best wishes,
Dmitrij.

Re: Merely exchanging information

julielai — Thu, 22 Sep 2005 00:22:03 GMT

HI Dmitrij,

Is this another IELTS essay question?

Thanks!

Re: Merely exchanging information

Dmitrij — Wed, 21 Sep 2005 20:11:01 GMT

Dear friends,

This is another essay I wrote to continue our discussion. I intentionally had kept to my strategy because I wanted to try it out one more time.

It took me 38 minutes to complete and it contains 319 words. I had some trouble thinking up the ideas but when I was done with that part (10 min) I managed the rest quite fast.
I didnât check it for style and grammar I just stopped when the time had run out.
I wouldnât call it the best I have ever written. I also wouldnât insist on correcting this.
I donât know, I just wrote it and thatâs all.

TASK

Education is the single most important factor in the development of a country. Do you agree?

ESSAY

Nowadays many people argue the paramount importance of education for the successful development of a country. I believe that while many other significant factors account for prosperity of the nation, education is, probably, most important.

Education has several important effects on the economic development of a country. First of all,
industry requires an effective system of professional education, since it needs skilled workers to handle sophisticated modern equipment. Secondly, Globalization generates intensified competition in technology. Only nations that excel in the educational area can succeed on the international markets. Finally, health education is another requisite of efficient economy. It helps keep workforce healthy and most productive.

I am convinced that education is the base of affluent and stable societies. One of the grave consequences of illiteracy is poverty. In the 1960s, Lyndon Johnson addressed the problem of poverty in the US with words, 'Poverty has many roots but the taproot is ignorance'. Another point here is that educated people are less involved in criminal activities. Law enforcement agencies report an appalling rate of crime among low-educated citizens. To end with, countries with better educational opportunities have lower levels of unemployment because people can afford another degree if they are not satisfied with the previous.

Education is also a unique tool for a country to succeed in international relations. Firstly, it helps to dismantle cultural barriers between nations. Students studying abroad get to understand customs of the host country. Secondly, it is a key to successful foreign policy. Educational exchanges help promote goodwill toward other countries. Final point is that education fosters the atmosphere of partnership between nations. International communities on universitiesâ campuses learn to understand each other and shift away from potential conflicts toward greater cooperation.

To summarize, I would like to point out that education is crucial to build a successful society in the 21st century. It undoubtedly influences industrial strength, social stability and the international image of any country.

Regards,

Dmitrij.

Re: Merely exchanging information

julielai — Tue, 20 Sep 2005 00:01:44 GMT

Third, I am collecting cents to buy a decent book on essay writing

I hope a book sale is coming up in your area.

Re: Merely exchanging information

Dmitrij — Mon, 19 Sep 2005 10:01:57 GMT

Hi guys,

After reading this thread again and again, I understand that your comments are actually something I have been waiting for as a response to my essay tutorial. I can now tell that your helpful advices would undoubtedly bring my writing skills up to the next level.

I also recommend this thread to everyone looking for improvement. I wouldnât preach to the converted but since you got here you might as well spend some time reading carefully through the posts. Skimming over wonât help much.

As you are getting to know our points, you might feel like putting your own two cents into our discussion. We will benefit from it in many ways. First, weâll get new blood in our company. Second, youâll have a chance to make a contribution to âour essay tutorialâ. (Yes! With Julielaiâs additions, it has shaped up into a team work). Third, I am collecting cents to buy a decent book on essay writing (I envy you, Julielai!)

Best wishes,

Dmitrij.

Re: Merely exchanging information

Anonymous — Mon, 19 Sep 2005 04:45:14 GMT

(Once again I forgot to log in -- MM)

And, reading through the thread again, I think you do a good job of supporting each other. (Julie is indeed supporting your core ideas, Dmitrij, by detailing the point on 'sprawl' that was connotatively warned against in your own advice to writers.)

As I am hoping to keep this fine thread linked to the head of our Writing Forum menu as authoritative views on essay writing from experienced speakers of English as a second language, it would be good to confine future posts to clearly supplemental material based on Dmitrij's groundwork.

Re: Merely exchanging information

julielai — Sun, 18 Sep 2005 19:41:35 GMT

Hi Dmitrij,

I was merely responding to your words:

A good paragraph must have
1) Topic sentence (statement)
2) Arguments â 3 arguments advisable, each followed by
3) Supporting details
4) Transition words and markers

I believe your suggestions addressed the problem of paragraph sprawls. That's why I posted my own two cents -- to supplement your strategies. The ideas themselves I got from writing handbooks, so they aren't exactly my ideas, though I wrote my own examples.

A while back, I promised the forum guru -- Mr. Micawber -- I'd do an assignment on writing strategies. So consider this assignment "turned in", Mr. M!