http://www.englishforums.com/English/EssayReportCompositionWriting/Forum9.htmPost your essay, short story or composition here. Review, comment, or just read for fun.enXMOD (Build: 3616.28671)http://www.englishforums.com/English/PleaseImproveMyEssay/blwcw/post.htm#140769Wed, 25 Feb 2009 21:05:14 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:140769Anonymous0http://www.englishforums.com/English/PleaseImproveMyEssay/blwcw/post.htm#140769http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments9-140769.xmlHere is the edited version. Please some advice to enhance my essay. Thanks. My birth took place on -- -- --, in ----, ----. It is my fortune to have an integrated and lovely family. My parents are from ----, they have taught me not only ---- language, but also good morals and traditions. I love listening to ---- traditional tales, from each story I heard; I have learned an important lesson. chemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />>> When I was a child, everything around me roused my curiosity. I always wondered why something happens, or why another thing has a particular shape. And I asked my parents until they had no more answers.>> In school, I was especially interested in mathematics, physics and chemistry. Through those...http://www.englishforums.com/English/PleaseImproveMyEssay/blwcw/post.htm#140704Sat, 25 Apr 2009 20:05:14 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:140704Anonymous1http://www.englishforums.com/English/PleaseImproveMyEssay/blwcw/post.htm#140704http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments9-140704.xmlThank you very much Mister Micawber for your suggestion, I will improve my essay now.http://www.englishforums.com/English/PleaseImproveMyEssay/blwcw/post.htm#140462Sat, 25 Apr 2009 20:05:14 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:140462Mister Micawber2http://www.englishforums.com/English/PleaseImproveMyEssay/blwcw/post.htm#140462http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments9-140462.xmlYou didn't fix all the points I indicated, but it is better. Please review carefully the list I gave you previously. The main structural problem with this essay is that the second paragraph is an isolated and out-of-place idea, unrelated to the paragraphs before and after it. I would suggest that you put the second paragraph first (along with the 'birth' sentence), and then write of your childhood curiosity in the second paragraph, thus leading in to your education experience in the third.http://www.englishforums.com/English/PleaseImproveMyEssay/blwcw/post.htm#140287Sun, 25 Jan 2009 21:05:14 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:140287Anonymous3http://www.englishforums.com/English/PleaseImproveMyEssay/blwcw/post.htm#140287http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments9-140287.xmlHi, here is the fixed essay. Please some suggestion. Thanks. I was born in (city), (country), on month day year. When I was a child, everything around me roused my curiosity. I always wondered why something happens, or why other things have a particular shape. And I asked my parents until they had no more answers. I have a very integrated and lovely family. My parents are from (country), they have taught me not only (country) language, but also good morals and traditions. I love listening (country traditional) tales, because they are fairly interesting and contain very deep thoughts. From each story I heard, I have learned a lesson for life. In school, I was specially interested in mathematics, physics and chemistry. Through...http://www.englishforums.com/English/PleaseImproveMyEssay/blwcw/post.htm#140077Sun, 25 Jan 2009 21:05:14 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:140077Mister Micawber4http://www.englishforums.com/English/PleaseImproveMyEssay/blwcw/post.htm#140077http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments9-140077.xmlPlease fix the basic mistakes first, and post your revision here.http://www.englishforums.com/English/PleaseImproveMyEssay/blwcw/post.htm#139997Wed, 25 Mar 2009 21:05:14 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:139997Anonymous5http://www.englishforums.com/English/PleaseImproveMyEssay/blwcw/post.htm#139997http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments9-139997.xmlThank you very much for checking my essay. Could you please give me some suggestion to improve my essay? I am applying for a US college.http://www.englishforums.com/English/PleaseImproveMyEssay/blwcw/post.htm#139934Mon, 25 May 2009 20:05:14 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:139934Mister Micawber6http://www.englishforums.com/English/PleaseImproveMyEssay/blwcw/post.htm#139934http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments9-139934.xmlHere are some notes: everything is one word another thing or other things had no more answers morals listening to have learned in school mathematics, physics those subjects childhood questions make someone have my homework the less my parents pressured me so I after I arrived I did 135 by midnight At that moment he replied stay up more... than always lookhttp://www.englishforums.com/English/PleaseImproveMyEssay/blwcw/post.htmWed, 25 Mar 2009 21:05:14 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:139918Anonymous7http://www.englishforums.com/English/PleaseImproveMyEssay/blwcw/post.htmhttp://www.englishforums.com/English/comments9-139918.xmlPlease could somebody check or improve my essay. my English isn't very good. thanks. prompt.- Write a brief biographical sketch about yourself. Limit your response to 300 words. I was born in (city), (country), on (month day year). When I was a child, every thing around me caught my curiosity. I always wondered why something happens, or why other thing has a particular shape, and I asked my parents until they got no answers.chemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />>> I have a very integrated and lovely family. My parents are from (country), they have taught me not only (country) language, but also good moral and traditions. I love listening (country traditional) tales, because they are quite interesting and...