ESL Essay, Writing World

Re: please check my essay!

Anonymous — Sat, 23 Sep 2006 19:28:05 GMT

Oren wrote:
hello, please help me with my essay, i probably have some mistake
thank u for your time... and enjoy reading...

          Israel is considered one of the largest centers of women trade in the world;              this fact makes people aware to the subject of prostitution. There are a lot of reasons
that leads women to prostitution, for example financial distress or lake of professional training. There are women that become prostitutes by pimps who promise them a better
world, and yet we see them at the same financial problem as they were before. They suffer from humiliation and physical abuse by there pimps and customers.
In Israel pimps are 'selling' women from other countries in exchange for up to 20,000 $.
        In the movie "OR" (director yadaya keren) we see the financial problem that leads the characters to prostitution and the humiliation they felt. Why those women accept this humiliation, do they have other choices?!
The movie shows us a partial picture of prostitution in which Or and her mother Roti lives. Roti has been a prostitute for 20 years, as a result her physical and mental condition
are getting worse. The movie begins at the point where Roti comes out of the
hospital, while her daughter, Or, had decided to find her another job cleaning houses.
While Roti worked as cleaning houses, her employers treated her with no respect because of her low class, what made her turn back to prostitution, even though she promised Or she wouldn't do it again.
         In real life, many women try to get out of the prostitution cycle and to find a legitimate job, but they run into difficulties because of there past experience. There are women
who lost their faith that one day they will brake the prostitution cycle, therefore they see the prostitution as the only why to support themselves. The damage as a result of the prostitution
is not only physically but also mentally; their self image is so low that they can't think they will find other job then prostitution.
      Roti's occupation had influenced Or socially, when Or wanted to go out with a friend of her whom she really liked, his parents opposed since they knew her mother occupation.
occupation but ironically, in some cases       In real life children like Or try to hide their mother's
   they enter to the world of prostitution or crime. Or's self image deteriorated to the point
where the entire neighborhood knew that the first guy who would offer her a cigarette will get the chance to be with herâ¦
       The children's prostitutes are dependent on their mothers, but when she get arrested by the police or hurt physically and can't work, the burden falls on the children, just like when Or had to provide herself and her mother.
     This movie is not like other typical Hollywood movie that has a happy end while every body lives happily ever after, it's reflects the harsh reality of the social problem of prostitution. In the end of the movie the main character, Or, find her self deteriorate dip into the prostitution world.
        In Israel there are about 3,000 women who work as prostituted while most of them at the age of 18 to 35.Most of those women came from Russia and are in a lot of physical and mental stress. If we really care about them and want to reduce the number of women who work as prostitutes the society needs to stop criticizing them and try to help them by making a new alternative solutions, such as organizations that will allow them to improve their life by building them a new choices.

Re: please check my essay!

Stephaniek — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 22:00:49 GMT

Hello! I hope this is helpful!

When saying, "a lot of reasons that leads women" change the leads to lead.

"lake of professional training" change to lack.. lake is a body of water.

"there pimps" change to their. There is referring to a place. Their is a possessive. their pimps.

when writing about money, put the $ in front of the money. $20,000

"why those women" change to Why do those women

put a question mark after humiliation, start a new sentence with do.

"as a result" add of after result.. as a result OF her

"worked as cleaning houses" change to worked by cleaning houses

"another job then prostiution." change to other than.

"low class, what" change to which.

when talking about the damage.. change physically and mentally to physical and mental, because you are describing damage which is a noun. Physical and mental are adjectives describing a noun. If you use physically and mentally, you are using adverbs which describe verbs.

everybody is one word

"it's reflects" change to it reflects. it's is the possesive of it. you would use that if you were saying, it's red. or something like that. but when saying it, and then the verb, you don't need the 's.

"Or, find herself" change to Or finds herself.

"work as prostituted." change to work as prostitutes.

"such as organizations." change to such as providing organizations.

This is a great essay. Good Luck!

please check my essay!

Oren — Wed, 14 Dec 2005 23:32:34 GMT

hello, please help me with my essay, i probably have some mistake
thank u for your time... and enjoy reading...

          Israel is considered one of the largest centers of women trade in the world;              this fact makes people aware to the subject of prostitution. There are a lot of reasons
that leads women to prostitution, for example financial distress or lake of professional training. There are women that become prostitutes by pimps who promise them a better
world, and yet we see them at the same financial problem as they were before. They suffer from humiliation and physical abuse by there pimps and customers.
In Israel pimps are 'selling' women from other countries in exchange for up to 20,000 $.
        In the movie "OR" (director yadaya keren) we see the financial problem that leads the characters to prostitution and the humiliation they felt. Why those women accept this humiliation, do they have other choices?!
The movie shows us a partial picture of prostitution in which Or and her mother Roti lives. Roti has been a prostitute for 20 years, as a result her physical and mental condition
are getting worse. The movie begins at the point where Roti comes out of the
hospital, while her daughter, Or, had decided to find her another job cleaning houses.
While Roti worked as cleaning houses, her employers treated her with no respect because of her low class, what made her turn back to prostitution, even though she promised Or she wouldn't do it again.
         In real life, many women try to get out of the prostitution cycle and to find a legitimate job, but they run into difficulties because of there past experience. There are women
who lost their faith that one day they will brake the prostitution cycle, therefore they see the prostitution as the only why to support themselves. The damage as a result of the prostitution
is not only physically but also mentally; their self image is so low that they can't think they will find other job then prostitution.
      Roti's occupation had influenced Or socially, when Or wanted to go out with a friend of her whom she really liked, his parents opposed since they knew her mother occupation.
occupation but ironically, in some cases       In real life children like Or try to hide their mother's
   they enter to the world of prostitution or crime. Or's self image deteriorated to the point
where the entire neighborhood knew that the first guy who would offer her a cigarette will get the chance to be with herâ¦
       The children's prostitutes are dependent on their mothers, but when she get arrested by the police or hurt physically and can't work, the burden falls on the children, just like when Or had to provide herself and her mother.
     This movie is not like other typical Hollywood movie that has a happy end while every body lives happily ever after, it's reflects the harsh reality of the social problem of prostitution. In the end of the movie the main character, Or, find her self deteriorate dip into the prostitution world.
        In Israel there are about 3,000 women who work as prostituted while most of them at the age of 18 to 35.Most of those women came from Russia and are in a lot of physical and mental stress. If we really care about them and want to reduce the number of women who work as prostitutes the society needs to stop criticizing them and try to help them by making a new alternative solutions, such as organizations that will allow them to improve their life by building them a new choices.