ESL Essay, Writing World

Re: please.... help me.. (:'_':)

Gingie — Sun, 15 Jan 2006 13:25:56 GMT

thanks...

Re: please.... help me.. (:'_':)

Anonymous — Sun, 15 Jan 2006 00:20:31 GMT

Hope it'll do...

Dear Rayne,

How are you? I really hope that you and all of your family members are always in the pink of health. [why an exclamation mark?] We haven't [never? too emphatic] met each other for the past two years ever since you decided to further your study abroad in London. I miss you a lot!

The other month me and my family went to France! It was fantastic! I was over the moon! We went there for just [i think you were unwilling to go back after having been there for so short a time] two weeks. I really had much fun there!

It was my first visit to France, [u d hav known better how n where to use semicolons] the largest country in Europe after Russia and Ukraine. Our tourist guide, Leonardo, [looks better when enclosed by commas] said that the name France is derived from the Franks, a Germanic group that ruled France during the 5th century. I bet that you have heard the name of Napoleon Bonaparte before, have you? Well, Leonardo said that Napoleon was a Corsican who acquired many victories for France and became emperor in 1804.

It is not only the history of France that has attracted my passion, its cultures are [missing aux. verb] also very fascinating [ah, sound better!]. Leonardo said: "France has experienced a large amount of immigration during the past 150 years, resulting in various alternations [varies? look up the dictionary] and rich conglomerate of cultures. French cultures have enriched Europe with its long lists of writers, painters and sculptors." We have also been told that France produces some of the best wine worldwide which is an important aspect of French culture. [better off rewriting the last sentence. for example, We have also been told that most experts reckon the French wine is one of the best wines around the world which is an important ... your ending.]

On the first week we went to Paris, the capital of France. I took [don't use the past perfect here!] some pictures of the Eiffel Tower. We had been told [that's correct!] by Pasco, who was another tourist guide, that the Eiffel Tower was designed by Gustava Eiffel for the 1889 Paris Universal Exposition.

We also were [again?] to the Luxembourg Garden which faces the "Palais de Luxembourg". Pasco said that during warm weather Parisians would [direct/reported speech subtlety]fill the Luxembourg Garden as if it were a picturesque garden with many kinds of flowers and had serene atmosphere.

We went to the Louvre museum too! I was like in the seventh heaven when I was in the museum. It was marvellous! I had never expected that my dream to go to this museum would be real! I had been wandering in the museum for almost four hours. I just could not take my eyes off from the wondrous arts that surrounded me. Do you know that the Louvre museum was actually [back to where it belongs] first built as a fortress? However, as time passes by, it is no longer remaining solely [fits good] as a fortress, but has been changed into a grand museum which important works of art are display. [read it again and again untill u get the meaning. maybe you meant, which displays/exhibits some important works of art?] One of the significant works of art that is exhibited in the Louvre museum is the picture of Mona Lisa which was painted by Leonardo Da Vinci.

Have you ever heard about the cathedral of Notre Dame? I went there too! I had been told that the cathedral of Notre Dame is an excellent example of gothic architecture which was constructed before 1400âs. This letter is enclosed with some pictures of the cathedral of Notre Dame.

I really hope that you enjoy reading my two weeks' experience in France. That is all for now and I am looking forward to hearing from you very soon. Please convey my greetings to all of your family members.

Love from

YOUR NAME.

please.... help me.. (:'_':)

Gingie — Sat, 14 Jan 2006 13:49:38 GMT

No 111, Jalan 4/5K

43650 Bandar Baru Bangi,

Selangor Darul Ehsan,

Malaysia.

14 January 2006

Dearest Rayne,

Hello! How are you? I really hope that you and all of your family members are always in the pink of health! We have never met each other since past two years, after you had decided to further your study abroad in London. I miss you a lot!

Last month; December 2005, my family and I went to France! It was fantastic! I was over the moon! We went there for two weeks. I really had much fun there!

It was my first visit to France; the largest country in Europe after Russia and Ukraine. Our tourist guide named Leonardo said that the name France is derived from the Franks, a Germanic group that ruled France during the 5^th century. I bet that you have heard the name of Napoleon Bonaparte before, havenât you? Leonardo said that Napoleon was a Corsican who acquired many victories for France and became emperor in 1804.

It is not only the history of France that has attracted my passion, its cultures also very captivating. Leonardo said, France has experienced a large amount of immigration during the past 150 years, resulting in varies and rich conglomerate of cultures. French cultures have enriched Europe with its long lists of writers, painters and sculptors. We have also been told that France produces some of the best wine worldwide which is an important aspect of French culture.

In the first week, we went to Paris, the capital of France. I had taken some pictures of the Eiffel Tower. We had been told by Pasco, who was another tourist guide, that the Eiffel Tower was designed by Gustava Eiffel for the 1889 Paris Universal Exposition.

We had also been taken to the Luxembourg Garden which faces the âPalais de Luxembourgâ. Pasco said, during warm weather, Parisians will fill the Luxembourg Garden as it is a picturesque garden with many kinds of flowers and has serene atmosphere.

We went to the Louvre museum too! I was like in the seventh heaven when I was in the museum. It is marvellous! I have never expected that my dream to come to this museum will be a reality! I had been wandering in the museum for almost four hours. I just could not take my eyes off from the wondrous arts that surrounded me. Do you know that actually the Louvre museum was first built as a fortress? However, as time passes by, it is no longer remaining as a fortress but has been changed into a grand museum which important works of art are display. One of the significant works of art that is exhibited in the Louvre museum is the picture of Mona Lisa which was painted by Leonardo Da Vinci.

Have you ever heard about the cathedral of Notre Dame? I went there too! I had been told that the cathedral of Notre Dame is an excellent example of gothic architecture which was constructed before 1400âs. Enclose with this letter are some pictures of the cathedral of Notre Dame.

I really hope that you enjoy reading my two weeks experience in France. That is all for now and hopefully to hear from you very soon. Please convey my greetings to all of your family members. Bye!

With Love,

(NURUL)

P/S : please... i only get A for my English test when i was fifteen yrs old.. (:'_'