http://www.englishforums.com/English/EslEssayWritingWorld/Forum9.htmPost your essay, short story or composition here. Review, comment or just read for fun.enCSMOD (Build: 3260.39585)http://www.englishforums.com/English/Proofreading20/djmbz/post.htm#298270Mon, 27 Nov 2006 21:40:05 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:298270Feebs110http://www.englishforums.com/English/Proofreading20/djmbz/post.htm#298270http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments9-298270.xmlHe could not get rid of her&nbsp;off his mind &gt;<font color="#0000ff"> He could not get her off his mind</font>&nbsp; expresses this more fluently<br><br>why Jane feels so repulsive to &nbsp;&nbsp; &gt;&nbsp; <font color="#0000ff">repulsed by<br><br></font> wandering&nbsp;nowhere &gt;&nbsp; <font color="#0000ff">wandering all over the place&nbsp;&nbsp; or&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; went nowhere<br><br></font>His mother thought &gt; <font color="#0000ff">His mother thinks&nbsp;&nbsp; [the rest of this paragraph is in the present, so this sentence should be too]<br><br></font>At&nbsp;last birthday party he went,&gt; <font color="#0000ff">At the last birthday party he went to,<br><br></font> getting insane &gt;&nbsp; <font color="#0000ff">going&nbsp; or&nbsp; becoming insane<br><br></font>he&nbsp;gave himself&nbsp;some&nbsp;imagination about them&nbsp; &gt; <font color="#0000ff">imagining what they did<br><br>Can't quite see what you mean in the last sentence<br></font><div style="clear:both;"></div>http://www.englishforums.com/English/Proofreading20/djkvc/post.htmSun, 26 Nov 2006 13:31:47 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:297740BW2/31http://www.englishforums.com/English/Proofreading20/djkvc/post.htmhttp://www.englishforums.com/English/comments9-297740.xml<P>Indeed how deeply sad John is! Every time&nbsp;he calls Jane up, she hangs up the phone. He has tried countless times yet failed. John has no&nbsp;shame of himself or rather&nbsp;no dignity. He could not get rid of her&nbsp;off his mind. It seems to him life is not worth living without Jane. </P> <P>Sometimes John&nbsp;was wondering why Jane feels so repulsive to him.&nbsp;It seemed to him that he had done nothing wrong except flirting with her younger sister a lot. Of all his faults, obsession is John's greatest enemy.&nbsp;</P> <P>Lately John&nbsp;is dejected&nbsp;and wandering&nbsp;nowhere. He&nbsp;is growing&nbsp;a long beard.&nbsp;His mother thought he looks like an old man. Actually John&nbsp;dislikes the beard because it is making him itchy.</P> <P>At&nbsp;last birthday party he went, his&nbsp;good&nbsp;friends thought he&nbsp;was getting insane with such a long beard. John&nbsp;was&nbsp;becoming moody&nbsp;at&nbsp;the party when he saw his&nbsp;ex-girlfriend with another guy. He used to think&nbsp;that he held her hands and kissed her whenever he liked. But the girl&nbsp;belonged to the fatty. It&nbsp;made him sick when he&nbsp;gave himself&nbsp;some&nbsp;imagination about them. &nbsp;</P> <P>At the&nbsp;party,&nbsp;John was gazing at the girl wearing&nbsp;eyeglasses for a long time.&nbsp;Someone asked him what the matter was.&nbsp;Somehow he was&nbsp;capitviting&nbsp;by this girl. The girl had scarlet&nbsp;lips, smooth&nbsp;cheek,and pointy nose.&nbsp;Somehow he&nbsp;had no courage to&nbsp;talk to her. The girl&nbsp;beamed&nbsp;at&nbsp;him&nbsp;while&nbsp;she was talking to&nbsp;her friend.&nbsp;All of a sudden, Jane was coming back to his mind.&nbsp;It was like a ghost that was haunting him&nbsp;for the rest of the evening.&nbsp;Somehow there was some mysterious power that he should have behaved himself in the party. &nbsp;&nbsp;</P> <P>Thank you </P><div style="clear:both;"></div>