Re: Leadership essay, please edit

nona the brit — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 17:24:19 GMT

I would try to avoid describing only men as leaders in your first paragraph, where you are discussing leadership generally.

Odd word choices highlighted in red. Corrections in bold. Other problems highlighted in yellow.

A leader is a person who attempts to inspire his students with a desire to learn. He may not always succeed in his art or leading; yet, he who learns and inspires with his successes, failures, and meaningful experiences is indeed a genuine leader. I once had the distinct experience of mentoring a prime group that compromised of six young souls. This naive group was a part of the Drug Education For Youth program (D.E.F.Y.), which focuses on drug education through leadership, character development, and positive role model mentoring.

Once I was paired with these six individuals, I focused intently on their individuality instead of concentrating on the group as a whole. Soon, after working with these youngsters for a short period of time, I realized that each had their own unique strengths and weaknesses. As a mentor, I aimed to strengthen their potency in field which they excelled by introducing them to even tougher challenging, while simultaneously working on their weaknesses. To encompass every pupil at once without forgetting about their individual characters, I usually presented various types of topics in a classroom type of setting. Topics were demonstrated in a combination of activities that included guided discussions, interactive videos, and role play. Firstly, during these activity sessions I strived to obtain the most information from each of the pupil in my group. Many a times, I encountered situations where the pupils were not comfortable ~~with~~ discussing the topics of drugs, violence, alcohol, sex, and relationships. This act of theirs provided me with the opportunity to use my leadership acumen by using a different style of approach, which was humor. With a comical approach, I was able to gain the trust of my pupils, as they began to converse about topics that once used to be uncomfortable.

Besides the classroom environment, I also organized picnics, dance events, and barbecues to help the pupils feel more confident by interacting amongst each other. As a mentor I feel that I have provided these individuals with the fundamentals of building and maintaining long-term relationships, managing conflict, improving self-esteem, setting goals, and becoming leaders. Furthermore, my involvement has led these individuals to pursue and achieve healthy lifestyles without the use of illegal substances.

Leadership essay, please edit

Akki — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 23:43:50 GMT

Dear reader,

Please pay special attention to the punctuation and grammar of this script.

A leader is a person who attempts to inspire his students with a desire to learn. He may not always succeed in his art or leading; yet, he who learns and inspires on his successes, failures, and meaningful experiences is indeed a genuine leader. I once had the distinct experience of mentoring a prime group that compromised of six young souls. This naive group was a part of the Drug Education For Youth program (D.E.F.Y.), which focuses on drug education through leadership, character development, and positive role model mentoring.

Once I was paired with these six individuals, I focused intently on their individuality instead of concentrating on the group as a whole. Soon, after working with these youngsters for a short period of time, I realized that each had their own unique strengths and weaknesses. As a mentor, I aimed to strengthen their potency in field which they excelled by introducing them to even tougher challenging, while simultaneously working on their weaknesses. To encompass every pupil at once without forgetting about their individual characters, I usually presented various types of topics in a classroom type of setting. Topics were demonstrated in a combination of activities that included guided discussions, interactive videos, and role play. Firstly, during these activity sessions I strived to obtain the most information from each of the pupil in my group. Many a times, I encountered situations where the pupils were not comfortable with discussing the topics of drugs, violence, alcohol, sex, and relationships. This act of theirs provided me with the opportunity to use my leadership acumen by using a different style of approach, which was humor. With a comical approach, I was able to gain the trust of my pupils, as they began to converse about topics that once used to be uncomfortable.

Besides the classroom environment, I also organized picnics, dance events, and barbecues to help the pupils feel more confident by interacting amongst each other. As a mentor I feel that I have provided these individuals with the fundamentals of building and maintaining long-term relationships, managing conflict, improving self-esteem, setting goals, and becoming leaders. Furthermore, my involvement has led these individuals in pursuing and achieving healthy lifestyles without the use of illegal substances.

ESL Essay, Writing World

Re: Leadership essay, please edit

Leadership essay, please edit