Re: Narrative Essay: Please review and reply. Thank you.

Feebs11 — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 18:59:33 GMT

âI give it three months,â was one of the first things my brother Kyle
âItâll work out,â I told myself.
. I was even dressed for a night out,
âYes, it is,â I answered.
I had about the idea of ice staking
recently-proposed-to fiancÃ©e
She would say she always knew
but I want to work it out.â
3 months. I told you so,â was one

Nice piece of writing otherwise.

Narrative Essay: Please review and reply. Thank you.

Elitemage — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 18:21:37 GMT

Dear friends,

First of all, thank you for your time. I have written a narrative eassy for my college writing class. This will be one of my final revisions. Please review and edit my essay as seems fit. The title is "A Romantic Tragedy"

- Jake

âI give it three months.â was one of the first things my brother Kyle said to me when I informed him of my present situation. I really didnât know how to reply. âWell,â he said, âif you marry her, at least I can tell people that I kissed your wife.â I had started to date this girl named Jenny. Kyle was actually responsible for how I had met her. He had dated her years in the past while I had moved away to St. Louis. But that was back in high school. Things were different now; everyone was older. âItâll work out.â I told myself.

I ran into Jenny while I was at a singles dance. At first she didnât recognize me. I had grown taller and it had been a while since I had last seen her. I could notice the differences in her. Her dark brown hair was cut shorter; her skin was smooth and soft. Time had definitely handed her beauty. I asked Jenny if she would care to dance. Her reply was a solid yes. We spent the rest of the night catching up, talking about places we had been and things we had seen. By the end of the evening, she had my phone number in hand and I told her to give me a call if she ever wanted to do anything. Yes, the ball was in her court, but I wasnât nervous.

The next night, I was at home alone. My best friend Mike had plans already, so doing anything with him was out of the question. My mind drifted off to the experience I had at the dance, when my cell phone started to ring. Somehow, I knew that I would get the call. You know the call that you wait and wait for, yet still never seem to be prepared to receive. Girls my age were so predictable, or so I had thought. I even was dressed for a night out, just in case. What I expected and what had happened, turned out to be two different things. âIs this Jake?â the voice on the other line said softly. âYes it isâ I answered. I was then asked if I would like to go ice skating. I was very leery about the idea. I wasnât any good. Tall people tend to fall more often on ice, and can experience more pain since it can be a longer trip down to the ground. âUh, sure,â was my reply.

We met up together and began our first date. Jenny noticed the tension I had about the idea of ice staking and asked if I really wanted to go. I told her the truth yet I was up for anything. Besides, she might have had a good laugh watching me make a fool of myself. âHow about we go for a walk in the park instead?â she asked. I felt like an angel had been sent from heaven. Yes, God does answer prayers. Besides, my feet like the feel of grass instead of the cold ice.

We held hands as we walked around during the semi-cold month of February, just chatting about how life was going. Iâve always notice that when you talk to someone for a long period of time, the truth always comes out bit by bit. They just canât hold it inside, or forget to keep their story straight. Either way the confession came. âIt wasnât really me,â Jenny said, as I made a puzzled look on my face. âI wasnât the one who called you tonight.â She then explained to me how she was too nervous to talk to me over the phone, so she had her brotherâs recently-proposed-to fiancÃ© give me a call. So what, no big deal, was my reaction. I had been a typical guy and didnât recognize the voice difference. Besides, everyone sounds different over a cell phone right?

I found out that Jenny was very independent. She always spoke her mind and could have fun anytime or anywhere. The next two months seem liked a blur. We enjoyed everything under the sun: hikes to Sabino Canyon, picnics on Mt. Lemmon, and an always sought-after vacation to California. It was to be the trip of a lifetime, but for some unexplained reason, it became an end to what I thought was happiness.

Jenny always let me know that she had plans to marry me. She would say, she always knew I was the one. I let her know my thoughts on the subject. I felt it was too early. I thought I had more to experience before I settled down. After all, isnât that what life is about? The journey seems different for everyone. I wasnât sure if I was ready to open the next chapter. Would it be all that I hoped for? Some married people appear so happy, yet others experience the opposite. My mind was filled by these ideas. The perfect opportunity to propose was coming up. Should I take it?

The weather was surprisingly mild for May in Southern California. The cool breeze even gave the casual walker a desire to wear a light jacket. The signs of life could be detected all around. Families could be seen walking around and enjoying each othersâ company. The full moonâs light was like a candle in the dark. While we were enjoying the evening, I contemplated on how I would propose. The next night was to be spent watching fireworks. It was then I would pop the question. This could work out after all.

Nerve wracking is the only way to describe my emotions at the time. I knew Jenny would say yes. It was obvious by how she had acted towards me the last month. A day before the planned proposal a tragic storm sent our relationship into total chaos. I didnât know what was happening then and I still donât now. Maybe subconsciously she decided I wasnât right for her. This mystery still boggles my memory.

I best describe it as a feeling I got, a feeling that something was not right. After all, I had spent the entire day with her. Yet not for a single moment did she look at me when we spoke to one another. Her comments were dry and empty. Kind of like the reactions you give to people you donât really want to be around, yet are forced to by some demanding situation such as work or school.

This feeling I had required a course of action. If this was the girl I was planning on marrying then I had to know the truth. Did I do something to offend her, and was there anything rash I had said on my part to make her react this way towards me? These were the question I confronted her with in the car on the ride home. I never did propose to Jenny on the trip. I dared not risk it with the thoughts haunting in my mind. Again, the truth came out, it always does. âIâve been thinking of breaking up with you, but I want to work it outâ This coming from the one I always wanted to be with. No, Jenny it doesnât work like that. I had to end it there and thenâ¦

â3 months. I told you so.â was one of the first things my brother Kyle said to me, when I informed him of my present situation. I really didnât know how to reply. âThereâs always other fish in the sea.â Yes, I agreed with that. It is just one very large ocean.

ESL Essay, Writing World

Re: Narrative Essay: Please review and reply. Thank you.

Narrative Essay: Please review and reply. Thank you.