ESL Essay, Writing World

Re: I can't think how to make a thesis with this short essay.

Clive — Sun, 12 Aug 2007 16:06:56 GMT

Hi,

An essay should consist of a number of paragraphs. The following are standard.

An introductory paragraph, in which you explain riefly what your tiopic is, what you will be discussing.

One or more paragraphs that discuss various aspects of your topic.

A paragraph that concludes your essay.

So, you need to break what you have written into at least three paragraphs.

Best wishes, Clive

Re: I can't think how to make a thesis with this short essay.

Mellavere — Sun, 12 Aug 2007 03:13:52 GMT

Here is the final of my essay. Tell me what do you think, and dont be afraid suggest, or correct me. I am new to essay so I accept whatever you think. Below is my rough draft. "Money".

The bible says, "The love of money is root of all evil." (Timothy 6:10)
Money is not the problem is the personal perception that cause of the problem. It is just an object, a currency for trade. Although, some people are evil because they have conscious thought processes. Money has no sense of life therefore how can it be a source of "evil". Instead of people taking personal responsibility, they channel it into blaming other things and people for their misfortunes and miss-directed views and idealisms. People perceive money in many different ways, such as some people are big spenders, and money freely flows to and from their hand and spends without regard to the actual money that they are spending. Some people are what we call frugal, these people spend when necessary and try to be practical and how they use their money. Finally, thereâs what we called tightwad, these are the people who are afraid to spend because if they do spend they have the sensation that they will be without money in the future and thus they do not dare spend even a penny unless absolutely necessary. Financial ignorance is largely to blame. For example, if a government official wants to get rich but doesn't know how to invest, he will resort to graft and corruption. He feels the evil act is necessary to achieve his goal when the truth is it's not necessary. There are legal, moral ways to get rich. He just didn't take the time or effort to learn those legal ways. Some people covet money and some will go to any extreme to get it. They will use the money they have to flaunt their success or their wealth in order to make others feel bad. They will use their money and the power that comes with it to take advantage of those who have less. "Money" as mentioned in the bible doesnât literally refer to money as cash; it could mean wealth and acquiring it. One needs to be careful in acquiring too much... people forget what on earth they were here for.

Re: I can't think how to make a thesis with this short essay.

Paul92 — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 16:19:19 GMT

If you want to elaborate on the quote, you can easily cook something up, such as:

Since money had been widely utilized, the lust for money has always been abundant. In the ancient times, it is like "He who has money has power......", therefore there has been an assumption that having money is equal to having power. ...................

You can say that money is a representative of social status , money is a "gift in disguise" from the devil (it has given us much convenience and much trouble), money is mostly the reason one steals or dies for, .......

Sorry if I am not of any help, but I have tried my best.

Good luck and hope you get a good grade on the thesis.

Yours sincerely,

Paul92

I can't think how to make a thesis with this short essay.

Mellavere — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 04:20:36 GMT

Please help, I can't make up a thesis about "Money" topic.?

can anyone help me with the thesis and conslusion, and maybe any suggestion that I could or delete.

The bible says that "The love of money is root of all evil" (timothy 6:10)
This is immediately brings to mind that money is not the problem is the personal perception that cause of the problem. People perceive money in many different ways, such as some people are big spenders, money freely flows to and from their hand and spend without regard to the actual money that they are spending. Some people are what we call frugal, these people spend when necessary and try to be practical and how they use their money. Finally thereâs what we called tightwad, these are the people who are afraid to spend because if they do spend they have the sensation that they will be without money in the future and thus they do not dare spend even a penny unless absolutely necessary.

Everyone perceives money in different ways.