Re: Please correct my essay!

julielai — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 00:33:24 GMT

Mellavere wrote:
The bible says, "The love of money is the root of all evil." (Timothy 6:10). The Bible does not state money is evil, yet it says the love of money is and is a root for all kinds of evil, many kinds. Any kind of sin may take root and sprout from money and its possessions. From money grows hatred, jealousy and all kinds of evil. To further understand this, let me explain of what the Bible really says about Money and evil. For example, if I use a hammer to build a house, that is a good thing. Then again if I use a hammer to smash windows in stores and loot or steal, is the hammer evil or are my actions evil? The problem here is that if I say the hammer is evil then I am not being responsible for my own actions. Money has no sense of life therefore how can it be a source of evil. (You need to use another example -- you need to show readers why the Biblical quote is correct.)

People perceive money in many different ways. Such as Some people are big spenders, and money freely flows to and from their hand, and they spend it without regard to the actual money that they are spending. Some people are what we call frugal. These people spend when necessary and try to be practical and how they use their money. Finally, thereâs what we call a tightwad. These are the people who are afraid to spend because if they do spend, they have the sensation that they will be without money in the future, and thus, they do not dare spend even a penny unless absolutely necessary. (This paragraph does not follow your last one)
Some people covet money and some will go to any extreme to get it. They will use the money they have to flaunt their success or their wealth in order to make others feel bad. They will use their money and the power that comes with it to take advantage of those who have less. (Please be more specific. Give examples)
Is money evil? No, it is a unique combination of curiosity and greed that does the trick, and saying that anything material is the root, the source, of evil is certainly shortsighted since evil itself is an artificial and human expression.

Please correct my essay!

Mellavere — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 02:03:14 GMT

The bible says, "The love of money is the root of all evil." (Timothy 6:10). The Bible does not state money is evil, yet it says the love of money is and is a root for all kinds of evil, many kinds. Any kind of sin may take root and sprout from money and its possessions. From money grows hatred, jealousy and all kinds of evil. To further understand this, let me explain of what the Bible really says about Money and evil. For example, if I use a hammer to build a house, that is a good thing. Then again if I use a hammer to smash windows in stores and loot or steal, is the hammer evil or are my actions evil? The problem here is that if I say the hammer is evil then I am not being responsible for my own actions. Money has no sense of life therefore how can it be a source of evil.
People perceive money in many different ways. Such as Some people are big spenders, and money freely flows to and from their hand, and they spend it without regard to the actual money that they are spending. Some people are what we call frugal. These people spend when necessary and try to be practical and how they use their money. Finally, thereâs what we call a tightwad. These are the people who are afraid to spend because if they do spend, they have the sensation that they will be without money in the future, and thus, they do not dare spend even a penny unless absolutely necessary.
Some people covet money and some will go to any extreme to get it. They will use the money they have to flaunt their success or their wealth in order to make others feel bad. They will use their money and the power that comes with it to take advantage of those who have less.
Is money evil? No, it is a unique combination of curiosity and greed that does the trick, and saying that anything material is the root, the source, of evil is certainly shortsighted since evil itself is an artificial and human expression.

ESL Essay, Writing World

Re: Please correct my essay!

Please correct my essay!