http://www.englishforums.com/English/EslEssayWritingWorld/Forum9.htmPost your essay, short story or composition here. Review, comment or just read for fun.enCSMOD (Build: 3260.39585)http://www.englishforums.com/English/HelpMeCorrectPlease/vqxxw/post.htm#416984Tue, 11 Sep 2007 04:05:37 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:416984julielai0http://www.englishforums.com/English/HelpMeCorrectPlease/vqxxw/post.htm#416984http://www.englishforums.com/English/comments9-416984.xmlThere's a bit of narration in the second paragraph, but not the first.<div style="clear:both;"></div>http://www.englishforums.com/English/HelpMeCorrectPlease/vqxnm/post.htmTue, 11 Sep 2007 02:50:00 GMT946f00bb-57d3-4b7b-a9a2-059b5341af52:416971AshleyD221http://www.englishforums.com/English/HelpMeCorrectPlease/vqxnm/post.htmhttp://www.englishforums.com/English/comments9-416971.xml<P>I need help correcting the first couple paragraphs for a narrative essay. Thank You in advance. <img src="/emoticons/emotion-1.gif" alt="Smile [:)]" /></P> <P align=center>Everything happens for a reason.</P> <P>&nbsp; When something happens to one of your children, it can be terrifying. Many people imagine their children before they’re even born. I had often imagined my children to be excellent athletes, or amazing musicians. I had always wanted children, and was happy to be a mom. My child at the time was my life. I woke up and went to work everyday for her. I gave up a lot to be, what I thought, was the perfect mother. I had her very young in life, she was very much unplanned. But I would never change the moment she came into my life. She was my best friend, and I was glad to have her. I would think every night before I went to sleep, how when she was grown, what college would she go to? When will she fall in love? I had never imagined she would be disabled.</P> <P>&nbsp; I will never forget that year. I was just twenty-one years old. I was eight months pregnant, and also had my beautiful two year old, Mackenzie. Mackenzie had huge green eyes, a breathtaking smile, and shiny blonde hair. But besides her beautiful appearance, something wasn’t quite right with her. She was progressing in ways that most children her age didn’t, yet was delayed in the most simple ways. She could spell words out on the fridge with the letter magnets, but never say anything at all. She could put together 500 piece puzzles but didn’t know how to play patty-cake. I had never heard her say Mommy, but often would hear her quote lines from her favorite cartoon. Mackenzie never followed directions, and she never looked me in the eye. To be honest, she appeared to be deaf. It was confusing, frustrating, and extremely horrifying.</P><div style="clear:both;"></div>