Re: For/Against Essay: Look through please, thanks

julielai — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 15:18:22 GMT

Highlighted a few things for you to fix.

Your arguments also need a little work.

Anonymous wrote:

TOPIC: Some people say that physical exercise should be a required part of every school day. Other people believe that student should spend the whole day on academic studies. Which opinion do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

A saying "Health is better than wealth" obviously shows that people want to be healthy than be rich but sick. As a consequence, the idea of including physical exercise in schools has sprung up~~, hoping to promote students with good physical fitness~~. However, not everyone would agree with the idea of ~~putting children into~~ physical exercises in schools. They believe that students should spend time in schools concentrating on academic study. Which one is the most suitable idea? In order to answer this question, we need to consider both the pros and the cons.

There are some arguments for including physical exercise in schools. To begin with, exercise will promote healthy atmosphere in school. Healthy student (only one?) will be able to study better and can be fully active in class participation. In addition, daily exercise will helps students deal with overweight problem~~. A problem in which may leads to others serious diseases, heard attack, for example.~~

On the other hand, there are several strong arguments against the idea that students should be exercising in schools. First of all, ~~looking at the objectives for attending school,~~ school is ~~not a training ground but~~ a place for learning and preparing students for their future career. Secondly, Thailand is currently deserting productive people with outstanding knowledge in their field and are able to apply that knowledge to practice. (Does not make sense) ~~Thus, it is rather wise to produce productive workmen than tough athletes.~~ Furthermore, exercises can be easily done anywhere, for instance, in ~~the~~ parks, fitness centers, gymnasiums, and home even. It is unnecessary to have students exercising in schools.

Should physical exercise be forced to be a part of school routine? Having carefully examine both the pros and the cons, I believe that the arguments against outweigh the arguments for. Therefore, ~~the answer is positive:~~ physical exercise should not be included in school so that students can spend their whole day focusing on academic study without any distraction.

For/Against Essay: Look through please, thanks

Anonymous — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 13:54:28 GMT

Note!:If it's possible, could you please check the whole essay and make some comment about the content, grammar, and word choices.

TOPIC: Some people say that physical exercise should be a required part of every school day. Other people believe that student should spend the whole day on academic studies. Which opinion do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

A saying "Health is better than wealth" obviously shows that people want to be healthy than be rich but sick. As a consequence, the idea of including physical exercise in schools has sprung up, hoping to promote students with good physical fitness. However, not everyone would agree with the idea of putting children into physical exercise in schools. They believe that students should spend time in schools concentrating on academic study. Which one is the most suitable idea? In order to answer this question, we need to consider both the pros and the cons.

There are some arguments for including physical exercise in schools. To begin with, exercise will promote healthy atmosphere in school. Without being sick, student will be able to study better and can be fully active in class participation. In addition, daily exercise will helps students deal with overweight problem. A problem in which may leads to others serious diseases, heard attack, for example.

On the other hand, there are several strong arguments against the idea that students should be exercising in schools. First of all, looking at the objectives for attending school, school is not a training ground but a place for learning and preparing students for their future career. Secondly, Thailand is currently deserting productive people with outstanding knowledge in their field and are able to apply that knowledge to practice. Thus, it is rather wise to produce productive workmen than tough athletes. Furthermore, exercises can be easily done anywhere, for instance, in the parks, fitness centers, gymnasiums, and home even. It is unnecessary to have students exercising in schools.

Should physical exercise be forced to be a part of school routine? Having carefully examine both the pros and the cons.I believe that the arguments against outweigh the arguments for. Therefore, the answer is positive: physical exercise should not be included in school so that students can spend their whole day focusing on academic study without any distraction.

ESL Essay, Writing World

Re: For/Against Essay: Look through please, thanks

For/Against Essay: Look through please, thanks