ESL Essay, Writing World

Re: Please comment my writing, thank you!

Chibi — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 18:19:06 GMT

Thank you very much, Doll

Re: Please comment my writing, thank you!

Doll — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 17:44:25 GMT

Care and Happiness

_{Whenever people are cared, they feel warm and happy, and so I do. However, I sometimes ask myself what I have done or how good I am to receive such sensation. It seems a silly question, doesnât it? Does anyone else think so?}

_{I work as a tutor on every Thursday evening. My pupil is a boy in grade eleven. He is fairly obedient. His ability of learning English is within the average level. It is apparently acceptable because he focuses on the subjects of natural science, namely mathematics, physics and chemistry. I had a tutoring class today on schedule. I did go to his house but I let him on study leave. One reason was that I had a splitting headache. L I am quite frustrated with this chronic disease. However, it was my fault today not to bring a hat along. Cycling in a blowing wind without a hat made the situation worse. The other reason, which I suppose the main one, was that I hadnât prepared the lesson carefully. I was blamable to give him a day off without proper reasons, but I was more blamable if I taught him with a carelessly prepared lesson. To be surprised, it was that time I did realize my pupilâs care for me. I told him that it would be better for me to leave early; otherwise my headache would be worse in the increasingly blowing wind in the late evening. He then immediately showed me the less windswept way cautiously. When I told him that I would be able to get lost easily, he drew a detailed map for me. The sheet of paper was not very nice. It might be a sheet of scratch paper any other time, but at that moment it was suffused with love and care. He also explained the map again and again, worrying I could still not remember something. At that time, he looked like a dedicated teacher with an awkward student â me. I did feel a blooming friendship between him and meâ¦ Before leaving his house, I said: âYou have reminded me of a friend who is always beside me whenever I go in a wrong way.â His action may probably mean nothing to other people but a gift to me.}

_{Mother Ty said I was not born for teaching career because I am easily affected by many things related to my pupils. I formerly denied all that she said. However, since I started my teaching career as a tutor and a teaching assistant in ETDC I have somehow felt some what?. Maybe this is a chance for me to know more about myself. On the other hand, I would like to tell Mother Ty that I will never be disappointed in my pupils but try my best to help them improve themselves. Moreover, such a small but meaningful action will drive nearly all my negative thoughts away.}

_{Indeed being cared, no matter how much it is, always brings me huge happiness.}

I tried to catch your mistakes and reddenned them.

Please comment my writing, thank you!

Chibi — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 16:14:14 GMT

_{Hi beloved members! Could you please proofread my writing. I do expect that you will give some general comments in terms of word choice, expression, and structure. It seems that I am too demanding but it will help me to see if my writing has been improved or not. Thank you very much!}

Care and Happiness

_{Mother Ty said I was not born for teaching career because I am easily affected by many things related to my pupils. I formerly denied all that she said. However, since I started my teaching career as a tutor and a teaching assistant in ETDC I have somehow felt some. Maybe this is a chance for me to know more about myself. On the other hand, I would like to tell Mother Ty that I will never be disappointed in my pupils but try my best to help them improve themselves. Moreover, such a small but meaningful action will drive nearly all my negative thoughts away.}

_{Indeed being cared, no matter how much it is, always brings me huge happiness.}