Re: Could you check this out please! I'm an intermediate student of English.

Mister Micawber — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 04:31:45 GMT

First, it needs to be divided into paragraphs. As it is, the length is offputting. Below, I have underlined some problem areas in grammar, punctuation, or vocabulary, and I have struck out unnecessary words (you may have to revise to reconstruct the sentences without these words):

~~All the~~ people ~~around the world~~ buy things everyday. These ~~things people buy~~ depend on the age, personality and needs in that moment ~~of their lives~~ to be happy, for a good product you must agree with the price, quality and guaranty. ~~To start this composition about habits of shopping, I said that~~ I prefer to shop on site for many reasons ~~some~~ ~~often are: that~~ you can touch the product and feel, see how works, you can ask about him, try before you buy ~~before~~ because ~~sometimes~~ if we donât know the product ~~and we buy~~ we could have a bad experience, ask for a lower price, guaranty and make contact with the sales persons ~~who can help you tomorrow~~ if you have something matter with the product, besides this the disadvantages could be that you want to spend a lot of time to buy ~~the product~~ and donât have many options ~~to choose~~. On the other hand, the advantage to buy things on line are you save time, it doesnât cost any parking, and you have a lot of options ~~to choose~~, you can compare prices, quality and types in a short time and in the comfortable chair of your computer, however you have the risk of experience prices, the product isnât work like you need, and you donât know how could be more useful. To conclude, itâs important to know and use the new technology ~~that advance day a day~~, but for me itâs better to mix both shopping habits. If we do this ~~Iâm sure~~ we always would buy the best product ~~with good price and quality to be satisfied with the product~~.

Could you check this out please! I'm an intermediate student of English.

Anonymous — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 02:34:52 GMT

All the people around the world buy things everyday. These things people buy depend on the age, personality and needs in that moment of their lives to be happy, for a good product you must agree with the price, quality and guaranty. To start this composition about habits of shopping, I said that I prefer to shop on site for many reasons some often are: that you can touch the product and feel, see how works, you can ask about him, try before you buy before because sometimes if we donât know the product and we buy we could have a bad experience, ask for a lower price, guaranty and make contact with the sales persons who can help you tomorrow if you have something matter with the product, besides this the disadvantages could be that you want to spend a lot of time to buy the product and donât have many options to choose. On the other hand, the advantage to buy things on line are you save time, it doesnât cost any parking, and you have a lot of options to choose, you can compare prices, quality and types in a short time and in the comfortable chair of your computer, however you have the risk of experience prices, the product isnât work like you need, and you donât know how could be more useful. To conclude, itâs important to know and use the new technology that advance day a day, but for me itâs better to mix both shopping habits. If we do this Iâm sure we always would buy the best product with good price and quality to be satisfied with the product.

ESL Essay, Writing World

Re: Could you check this out please! I'm an intermediate student of English.

Could you check this out please! I'm an intermediate student of English.