ESL Essay, Writing World

Re: could please check my essay?

Anonymous — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 02:01:09 GMT

Use dictionary, thesaures, talk to others

replace the indiviual words with your own, one at a time
change words too sofisticated for your writing level with simpler ones
figure out the basic meaning of the sentence and rewrite it, add details later
use strong words, it will help Ex. wrong instead of bad

Re: could please check my essay?

Tonysky — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 10:39:40 GMT

could you please tell me why these mistakes are wrong? And I hope you can tell me how to use those material I take from the textbook to paraphrase in my own words in order to make this essay look like it is written in my own words. i don't want my whole essay to look like it is written by copying lots of material. So i hpoe you can help me!

Re: could please check my essay?

julielai — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 20:24:01 GMT

Highlighted a few glaring errors and awkward phrases for you to fix.

Tonysky

1. Describe the evidence which suggests that human activity has contributed to climate change. Explain how much of this is discernable and outline any areas of uncertainty.

                  Human activity and climate change

      Nowadays the temperature of the earth is getting higher and higher. ~~And~~ an organization called IPCC (stands for what?) did a comprehensive research which shows that human activities are contributing to climate change and there has been a discernible human influenceon global climate. (Human activity and climate change page 99)

     The human activities such as: the burning of coal, oil, natural gas, the deforestation and various agricultural are changing the composition of the atmosphere and causing climate change.( Human activity and climate change page 102) These human activities have led to enhanced a number of greenhouse gases, including carbon dioxide, methane, nitrous oxide, chlorofluorocarbonsand ozonein the lower atmosphere.( Human activity and climate change page 102) The importance of these gases is that they all havewarming effects. Carbon dioxide is produced when coal, oil, and natural gas are burned to produce energy used for transportation, manufacturing, heating, cooling, electricity generation and other applications. The use of fossil fuel currently accounts for 80 to 85 percentage of the carbon dioxide being added to the atmosphere. (Human activity and climate change page 102)

     Furthermore, land use has changed. ~~For example:~~ clearing land for logging, ranching, and agriculture~~, these activities~~ still lead tocarbon dioxide emission. Whatâs more, vegetation also contains carbon which is released as carbon dioxide when the vegetation decays or burns. However, over the past several hundred years, deforestation and other land use changes in many countries have led substantially to atmospheric carbon dioxide enhance. (Human activity and climate change page 102) Although deforestation is still occurring in some parts of the northern hemisphere, on the whole, re-growth of vegetation in the north seems to be taking some carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere. Land use changes are responsible for 15 to 20 percentage of current carbon dioxide emission. (Human activity and climate change page 102)

    ~~And~~ there are still some ~~uncertain~~ areas which we do not know. Ozone in the troposphere, which is in the lower part of the atmosphere, is another important greenhouse gas which results from industrial activities. It is produced naturally and also by human activities. (Human activity and climate change page 103) Based on current data, tropospheric ozone is still an important contributor to the enhanced greenhouse effect. However, In part because ozone is also produced naturally, and because of its relatively short atmospheric lifetime, the magnitude of this contribution is uncertain. (Human activity and climate change page 103)
    Because of the discernable areas and the uncertain areas, climate change is still a big problem for us to solve. Anyway, what we can do to protect the environment is to use less fossil fuel and to do less deforestation.

could please check my essay?

Tonysky — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 09:46:50 GMT

      i'm a unniversity year one students.And my teacher ask us to write an essay about Climate Change.But I have use a lot of material from the testbook. I just have a few my own wods I hope you can help me to solve this problem. Thank you in advance.

question:
       Choose one of the questions below and write an essay using information from the texts on pages 96 to 103 of your source book.
1. Describe the evidence which suggests that human activity has contributed to climate change. Explain how much of this is discernable and outline any areas of uncertainty.

my answer:

                             Human activity and climate change

      Nowadays the temperature of the earth is getting higher and higher. And an organization called IPCC did a comprehensive research which shows that human activities are contributing to climate change and there has been a discernible human influenceon global climate. (Human activity and climate change page 99)

     The human activities such as: the burning of coal, oil, natural gas, the deforestation and various agricultural are changing the composition of the atmosphere and causing climate change.( Human activity and climate change page 102) These human activities have led to enhanced a number of greenhouse gases, including carbon dioxide, methane, nitrous oxide, chlorofluorocarbonsand ozonein the lower atmosphere.( Human activity and climate change page 102) The importance of these gases is that they all havewarming effects. Carbon dioxide is produced when coal, oil, and natural gas are burned to produce energy used for transportation, manufacturing, heating, cooling, electricity generation and other applications. The use of fossil fuel currently accounts for 80 to 85 percentage of the carbon dioxide being added to the atmosphere. (Human activity and climate change page 102)

     Furthermore, land use has changed. For example: clearing land for logging, ranching, and agriculture, these activities still lead tocarbon dioxide emission. Whatâs more, vegetation also contains carbon which is released as carbon dioxide when the vegetation decays or burns. However, over the past several hundred years, deforestation and other land use changes in many countries have led substantially to atmospheric carbon dioxide enhance. (Human activity and climate change page 102) Although deforestation is still occurring in some parts of the northern hemisphere, on the whole, re-growth of vegetation in the north seems to be taking some carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere. Land use changes are responsible for 15 to 20 percentage of current carbon dioxide emission. (Human activity and climate change page 102)

    And there are still some uncertain areas which we do not know. Ozone in the troposphere, which is in the lower part of the atmosphere, is another important greenhouse gas which results from industrial activities. It is produced naturally and also by human activities. (Human activity and climate change page 103) Based on current data, tropospheric ozone is still an important contributor to the enhanced greenhouse effect. However, In part because ozone is also produced naturally, and because of its relatively short atmospheric lifetime, the magnitude of this contribution is uncertain. (Human activity and climate change page 103)
    Because of the discernable areas and the uncertain areas, climate change is still a big problem for us to solve. Anyway, what we can do to protect the environment is to use less fossil fuel and to do less deforestation.