ESL Essay, Writing World

Re: sentences!

Newguest — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 07:05:20 GMT

thanks a lot Feebs!

Re: sentences!

Feebs11 — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 01:05:54 GMT

Newguest
Hi Feebs. Thanks for answering.

In response to your reply:

In IX century these principalities were subordinated to the Eastern March, and in X century Carniola was captured by Hungarians. ACCORDING TO YOUR TIPS IT SHOULD BE: In the ninth/In the 9th century..and in the tenth/10th century..was captured by..HERE YOU HAVE THE WHOLE SENTENCE, so..I would use "the Hungarians".

As for the eighth sentence I wanted to say that the average lifespan life expectancy for people who lived then was between 56 and 76, and that the lifespan of men on average was between 72 and 84 and for women between 47 and 80. IS IT CLEAR NOW :) When citing life expectancies, put the lower age first.

take care

Re: sentences!

Newguest — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 20:21:26 GMT

Hi Feebs. Thanks for answering.

In response to your reply:

In IX century these principalities were subordinated to the Eastern March, and in X century Carniola was captured by Hungarians. ACCORDING TO YOUR TIPS IT SHOULD BE: In the ninth/In the 9th century..and in the tenth/10th century..was captured by..HERE YOU HAVE THE WHOLE SENTENCE, so..

As for the eight sentence I wanted to say that the average lifespan for people who lived than was between 76 and 56, and that the lifespan of men was between 72 and 84 and women between 80 and 47. IS IT CLEAR NOW :)

take care

Re: sentences!

Feebs11 — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 02:12:17 GMT

Newguest
Hi guys.

I'm writing, actually I'm trying to translate, a certain text and from time to time I have some troubles with some sentences. Will you be so kind to have a look at the sentences below and point out the mistakes, or suggest some better ways of writing them. Thank you.

1. In VI-VII centuries after Christ the Germans started to flock in these lands. IS IT ALL RIGHT TO WRITE "IN VI-VII CENTURIES"No - use 6th-7th or spell out. HOW ABOUT "FLOCK" "flock into" is ok

2. ......was captured by Hungarians OR MAYBE: THE HUNGARIANS The full sentence would help to decide.

3. In XI century OR: IN THE ELEVENTH CENTURY or "11th"

4.Over 38% of the population professed no religion. ok

5.During the First World War Slovenians remained loyal towards the Habsburgs. SLOVENIANS/THE SLOVENIANS the Slovenians

6.Serbs were the biggest minority, forming 2.0% of the population. MAYBE: THE SERBS "Serbs" is fine.

7. In July, 2007 Slovenia was inhabited by 2,009,245 people of various age groups in a population:......... HOW ABOUT THE NUMBER. THERE SHOULD BE COMMAS OR PERIODS? commas

8.The average lifespan was about 76-56 years, including men â 72-84 years, and women â 80-47 years. These do not look correct. Can you explain what they mean?

9. Pursuant to the Constitution of 2000 the head of state is a president and the government is led by the prime minister.

10. The basic pension was calculated on the basis of the average net remuneration from the 10 best years of employment. IS IT ALL RIGHT TO WRITE: "FROM 10 BEST YEARS OF EMPLOYMENT"?

I'm actually half way through the article, so maybe I'll post some more sentences soon. If anyone finds some time,please have a look at them.

take care

sentences!

Newguest — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 09:37:46 GMT

Hi guys.

I'm writing, actually I'm trying to translate, a certain text and from time to time I have some troubles with some sentences. Will you be so kind to have a look at the sentences below and point out the mistakes, or suggest some better ways of writing them. Thank you.

1. In VI-VII centuries after Christ the Germans started to flock in these lands. IS IT ALL RIGHT TO WRITE "IN VI-VII CENTURIES" HOW ABOUT "FLOCK"

2. ......was captured by Hungarians OR MAYBE: THE HUNGARIANS

3. In XI century OR: IN THE ELEVENTH CENTURY

4.Over 38% of the population professed no religion.

5.During the First World War Slovenians remained loyal towards the Habsburgs. SLOVENIANS/THE SLOVENIANS

6.Serbs were the biggest minority who formed 2.0% of the population. MAYBE: THE SERBS

7. In July, 2007 Slovenia was inhabited by 2,009,245 people of various age groups in a population:......... HOW ABOUT THE NUMBER. THERE SHOULD BE COMMAS OR PERIODS?

8.The average lifespan was about 76-56 years, including men â 72-84 years, and women â 80-47 years.

9. Pursuant to the Constitution of 2000 the head of state is a president, and the government is managed by the prime minister.

10. The basic pension was calculated on the basis of the avarage net remuneration from 10 best years of employment. IS IT ALL RIGHT TO WRITE: "FROM 10 BEST YEARS OF EMPLOYMENT"?

I'm actually half way through the article, so maybe I'll post some more sentences soon. If anyone finds some time,please have a look at them.

take care