ESL Essay, Writing World

Re: Need help over these paragraphs

anon1 — Thu, 07 Oct 2004 15:55:49 GMT

1. A âCluster Diagramâ is used to organize data and ideas into different groups for a better writing. Meanwhile, "Outlining" is also used to organized ideas and data, but it is more formal than A Cluster Diagram.

1. 1. A âCluster Diagramâ is used to organize data and ideas into different groups for a better writing. Meanwhile, "Outlining" is also used to organize ideas and data, but it is more formal than A Cluster Diagram. [look at organize]

2. âAudience Analysisâ is so important in business writing. We can communicate with customers no matter whether they are in a bad or good mood. Audience analysis ruled an important part in business communication. It placed the main idea first if the audiences pleased, mildly interested, or neutral. In addition, it will put the main idea after explanations whenever audiences uninterested, displeased, or hostile.

âAudience Analysisâ is so important in business writing. We can communicate with customers no matter whether they are in a bad or good mood. It placed the main idea first if the audiences pleased, mildly interested, or neutral. [-don't understand.] In addition, it will put the main idea after explanations whenever audiences uninterested, displeased, or hostile.

Audience analysis ruled an important part in business communication. - redundant, no?

3. In business, writing is more important than it is in the college. Experiences and real life cases are associated with the business writing process. Writing on the job is formal and requires a lot of energy compared to academic writing.

3. In business, writing is more important than it is in the college. Experiences and real life cases are associated with the business writing process. [Not always true.] Writing on the job is formal and requires a lot of energy compared to academic writing. [In my opinion, this is a false statement. Academic writing is far more difficult.]

4. Short sentences and short paragraphs are appropriate for business communication. All short sentences and paragraphs are easy to read and understand. This is a key in business to communicate to the customers effectively. The more effective the writing, the better the organization.

4. For business communication short sentences and short paragraphs are appropriate because they are usually easier to read and understand. The key in business is to communicate with the customers effectively. The more effective the writing, the better the organization.

5. Main ideas should place at the beginning of a presentation. An Audience will less interested if they sit and listen to presentation without knowing main idea. If the presentation has a clear and concise topic at the start, then an audience may come up with questions and ideas. Placing the main idea first is much better than having the main idea towards the end of a presentation.

I have no suggestions for 5.

MountainHiker

Re: Need help over these paragraphs

luve — Thu, 07 Oct 2004 13:58:06 GMT

This is the review

1. A âCluster Diagramâ is used to organize data and ideas into different groups for a better writing. Meanwhile, "Outlining" is also used to organized ideas and data, but it is more formal than A Cluster Diagram.

2. âAudience Analysisâ is so important in business writing. We can communicate with customers no matter whether they are in a bad or good mood. Audience analysis ruled an important part in business communication. It placed the main idea first if the audiences pleased, mildly interested, or neutral. In addition, it will put the main idea after explanations whenever audiences uninterested, displeased, or hostile.

3. In business, writing is more important than it is in the college. Experiences and real life cases are associated with the business writing process. Writing on the job is formal and requires a lot of energy compared to academic writing.

4. Short sentences and short paragraphs are appropriate for business communication. All short sentences and paragraphs are easy to read and understand. This is a key in business to communicate to the customers effectively. The more effective the writing, the better the organization.

5. Main ideas should place at the beginning of a presentation. An Audience will less interested if they sit and listen to presentation without knowing main idea. If the presentation has a clear and concise topic at the start, then an audience may come up with questions and ideas. Placing the main idea first is much better than having the main idea towards the end of a presentation.

Re: Need help over these paragraphs

anon1 — Tue, 05 Oct 2004 19:15:59 GMT

1. A âCluster Diagramâ is useD to organize data and ideas into different groups for a better writing. Meanwhile, "Outlining" is also USED TO organizE ideas and data, but it is more formal than A Cluster Diagram.

2. âAudience Analysisâ is so important in business writing. We can communicate with customers no matter WHETHER they are in a bad or good mood. In order to achieve this WHAT?, audience analysis ruled an important part in business communication.[DON'T UNDERSTAND] We placed the main idea first if the audiences pleased, mildly interested, or neutral. In addition, we will put the main idea after explanations whenever audiences uninterested, displeased, or hostile.

3. In business, writing is more important than IT IS in the college. Experiences and real life cases are associated with the business writing process. Writing ON THE job is formal and requireS a lot of energy compareD to academic writing.

4. Short sentences and short paragraphs are appropriate for business communication. All short sentences AND paragraphs are easy to read and understand. This is a key in business to communicate TO THE customers effectively. The more effective THE writing, the better THE organization.

5. Main ideaS should place at the beginning of A presentation. AN Audience will less interestED IF they sit and listen to presentation without knowing main idea. If the presentation has a clear and concise topic at the start, THEN AN audience may come up with questions and ideas. Placing the main idea first is much better than HAVING THE MAIN IDEA TOWARDS THE END OF A PRESENTATION.

Very good. I had difficulty with 2. Perhaps try rewriting 2 again on your own and then posting it again.

MountainHiker

Need help over these paragraphs

luve — Tue, 05 Oct 2004 18:54:05 GMT

1. âCluster Diagramâ is use to organize data and ideas in to different groups for a better writing. Meanwhile, Outlining is also has the same method in organizing ideas and data, but it is more formal than that in Cluster Diagram.

2. âAudience Analysisâ is so important in business writing. We can communicate with customers no matter they are in a bad or good mood. In order to achieve this, audiences analysis ruled an important part in business communication. We placed the main idea first if the audiences pleased, mildly interested, or neutral. In addition, we will put the main idea after explanations whenever audiences uninterested, displeased, or hostile.

3. In business, writing is more important than that in the college. Experiences and real life cases are associated with the business writing process. Writing in job is formal and require a lot of energy compare to the academic writing.

4. Short sentences and short paragraphs are appropriate for business communication. All short sentences or paragraphs are easy to read and understand. This is a key in business to communicate between company and customers effectively. The more effective business writing, the better improvement in organization.

5. Main idea should place at the beginning of the presentation. Audiences will less interest while they sit and listen to presentation without knowing what the main idea is. If the presentation has a clear and concise topic at the start, audiences may come up with questions and ideas. Placing the main idea first is much better than delay after explanations.