ESL Essay, Writing World

Re: THIS Narrative ESSAY?

Ameir Humza — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 04:29:12 GMT

hey friend m so sorry to read about ur lost its right that there is no alternate of parents but we are helpless in will of God He is always in our favor try to do such things on which ur father can pride

Re: THIS Narrative ESSAY?

babyblue_girl08 — Tue, 06 May 2008 03:10:50 GMT

Hi! Susankay, Can I ask a favor? Can you please check this paragraph for me? I really need to fix this for my English class and by the way thanks for edit my essay. My teacher already accept my paper,I really appreciated it.

In the letter written by Ernesto Meza to city of Stockton, he tells about his concerns and his neighbor concerns about missing light in their area. He had mentions some crime that happen in their area because of the failure of the street light. I feel disappoint to the city of Stockton because since too many of letter had sent to them but they didnât do any action. I know Ernesto and his neighbors all they want just a street light so that they can be safe.

After read this letter, I feel lucky that I live in a safe area and I donât need to worry about the street light and leave the house with no one watch over it. Back in the Philippines I had been living there several years but I didnât hear any crime and I donât have any problem with my neighbor. Every time I got home late from school I feel safe because of the street light.

On the summer day we used to go to my cousin house for our vacation, every time we leave the house my mom feels cared because no one watches our house. I always said to her âmom just turns the light on, so that everyone thought someone in the house and they donât have any attention to steal something in our houseâ I know she worry to leave the house for long time and no one watch over it. After our vacation we went back home save and I feel glad that nothing had been stolen from our house. I think the reason that makes the place safe is because of the street lights.

I understand how Ernesto Meza writes this letter to the city of Stockton because he was concerns about the safety in his area. I know street lights are really important to us, because it can make us safe. So I hope the city of Stockton should do any action for them.

Re: THIS Narrative ESSAY?

babyblue_girl08 — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 04:48:54 GMT

thank you so much for ur time checking my essay and thanks for ur concern too. well hope u have a nice day.

Re: THIS Narrative ESSAY?

Susankay — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 03:42:00 GMT

correction: The saddest thing

Re: THIS Narrative ESSAY?

Susankay — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 03:38:57 GMT

The Thing I Will Forget

The thing I will never forget in my whole life is when my dad passed away. Back in the Philippines I had lots of experiences, such as pain, sadness, loneliness, happiness, etc. because all those things happened to me while I grew up. The most painful thing that I experienced in my life was when my dad passed away. I remember all the detail that happened to my dad when he still was alive. The day of accident, I was at home with my mom and my siblings. One of my dad's friends phoned my uncle and he told my uncle to take us to Cagayan to see my dad one last day. He warned my uncle to not tell us about my dad's accident and my uncle pretended everything was normal and nothing had happened.

When my uncle told my auntie about my dad's accident, I heard everything they were talking about. I cried and hoped the person they weretalking about was not my dad. I prayed that he was healthy and enjoying summer with his friends. My mom went to hospital first with my auntie. On the way there, my mom cried and fainted because she already knew about the accident because my auntie told her. The trip to the hospital of Cagayan took four hours, because my dad was there on his vacation with his friends, enjoying summertime with them.

In the car on the way to the hospital, they talked about my dad. They talked about where to bury my dad. I was shocked and hoped the person they were talking about was not my dad. When I came to hospital, I saw him laid on the bed and his face was covered with a while blanket. My mom hugged him and cried so loud. On that day, I felt so lonely and sad. I hated myself because I didnât say I love you to him when he was still alive. The sadness thing was that I hadnât said goodbye to him before he left.

As the years passed, the innocence in my heart was replaced with anger. I always wondered why God did this to my dad;why He took my dad from my mom and left my mom alone. I felt guilty when I saw my mom suffer from the many thing that she had to do. When years passed, I gained wisdom and my anger eventually was replaced with understanding. I was tearful during the time I wrote this essay. I felt all the things again that happened to my dad, just like it was yesterday. My dad was my inspiration because he had a kind heart and he was willing to help when someone needed him. If he were still alive today, I would want to hug him and said I love you to him. I know my dad is watching over me and my family in heaven and I hope he is happy in heaven with God.

I have made a few corrections. Remember to use past tense verbs to describe events that happened in the past.

I am sorry about your loss. Losing a parent is very difficult. We never really get over it, but it hurts less as time passes.

It sounds like you were a loving child to him, and stayed at the side of your mother when she needed you. This will comfort you in the future.

Take care of yourself and good luck! Keep doing the things that would make your father proud of you.

THIS Narrative ESSAY?

babyblue_girl08 — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 00:07:54 GMT

can someone help me this essay? is this a narrative essay? if is can uguy check grammar for me?

The Things I Never Forget

The things I never forget in my whole life is when my dad passes away. Back in the Philippines I had lots of experience, such a painful, sadness, loneliness, happiness, etc. all those things that happen to me when I grew up. The painfulness that I had in my life is when my dad passed away. I remember all the detail that happens to my dad when he stills a live. The day of accident I was at home with my mom and my siblings. One of my dad friends phone my uncle he told my uncle to take us to Cagayan to see my dad one last day. He warned my uncle is donât tell us about my dad accident and my uncle pretend everything is normal and nothing happen.

When my uncle told about my dad accident to my auntie I heard everything they talking about. That time I was cried and hope the person they talking about is not my dad. I prayed that he was healthy and enjoin his summertime with his friends. My mom went to hospital first with my auntie. On the way there my mom cried and fainted because she already knew about the accident because my auntie told her. The way to hospital of Cagayan it takes like four hours, because my dad was on his vacation with his friends, he enjoys his summertime there with them.

When my uncle takes me and my siblings there, on the car they were talking about my dad. They said where to burial my dad and I was shocked and hope the person they talking about is not my dad. When I come to hospital I saw him laid on bed and his face was cover the while blanket. My mom hugs him and cried so loud. On that day I felt so lonely and sad. I hated myself because I didnât say I love you to him when he stills a live. The sadness thing that I hadnât say goodbye to him before he leaving.

As the years passed, the innocence in my heart was replaced with anger. I always said why God do this to my dad. Why he gets my dad from my mom and left my mom alone. I felt guilty when I saw my mom suffer a lots thing that she carries. When yearâs passes by I gained my wisdom and my anger eventually replaced understanding. I was tear on the same time when I wrote is essay. I felt all things that happen to my dad it just like yesterday. My dad is my inspiration because he had a kindhearted and he willing to help when someone needs his help. If he stills a live I want to hug him and said I love you to him. I know my dad is watching over me and my family in heaven and I hope he will be happy in heaven with God.