ESL Essay, Writing World

Re: Help me please.

julielai — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 14:13:20 GMT

You need to fix the part in red.

Anonymous
Ok... so basically I need to do a five paragraph essay (Paragraph model?) by analyzing 3 quotes from this a passage I read "No name woman" by Maxie Hong Kingston. I'm just having trouble with a few things... some I understand, and others I don't. I tried fixing some errors that I made.. (ie: spelling, grammar). This is just the a 2nd draft. I would apprcieate some help and tips. Thanks in advance!
This is what I need help with:

-Verb Tense

`Unpacking language of quotes -Introducing all quotes fully

-Run on sentences?

         No Name Woman

            Maxine Hong Kingston begins to learn the story of her aunt who in the story is known as âNo Name Womanâ. Kingstonâs mother begins in the first passage, warning her to not tell anyone what she is about to say, referring to the story of her aunt. She explains that the aunt was Kingstonâs fatherâs sister, who killed herself in the family ~~well~~, but thereâs no mention of her at all, because it is as if she had never been born. The aunt brought shame to the family. She became a disgrace to the village, because the ~~action of~~ adultery committed. As a result of that, she ended up with an unwanted pregnancy. This caused so much commotion with the villagers, who were enraged, and raided the family house. The villagers destroyed and broke their possessions, wanting to get rid of the aunt from their community; because the villagers did not permit the coupleâs breaking tradition. As a child, Kingston did not fully understand this part of her Chinese culture. She starts making up her own stories. As an adult, Kingston looks back at her childhood years, to understand the story and her culture.

            Roughly around the age of 12, Kingston starts receiving warnings, and semi-threats from her mother about any unwanted pregnancies. Kingstonâs mother sets the aunt as an example. The mother says:

"Don't let your father know that I told you. He denies her. Now that you have started to menstruate, what happened to her could happen to you. Don't humiliate us. You wouldn't like to be forgotten as if you had never been born. The villagers are watchful;" (325)

The mother warns young Kingston, and talks about the aunt who brought disgrace to the family. Kingston is being guided, not to fall in the wrong path as her aunt did. The mother warns her at this moment, because it is the moment Kingston goes into a new stage of life that she must go through carefully (be specific). The mother wants Kingston to learn the values of her culture, traditions, and the people she represents. She describes that the villagers are watching (watching whom?), because they are a community who stick together as a group. It is part of their culture, having private lives is a dishonor to the culture. (doesn't make sense) The aunt dishonored it, by having a baby without a father. The mother is preventing young Kingston from bring shame to the family again. ~~Kingstonâs mother told stories~~

            Adult Kingston remembers when her mother use to tell her stories to warn her about life, and the realities ~~that existed~~. ~~She would tell stories, to teach Kingston morals.~~ Kingston explains:

âWhenever she had to warn us about life, my mother told stories that ran like this one, a story to grow up on. She tested our strength to establish realities. Those in the emigrant generations who could not reassert brute survival died young and far from home. Those of us in the first American generations have had to figure out how the invisible world the emigrants built around our childhoods fit in solid America.â (325)

Adult Kingston discusses ~~about~~ the emigrants who were struggling with poverty, and moved to America. This was the old generation, who struggled with survival. The emigrants re-assert themselves with the new life; some endure (tense) brute survival. Poverty was an issue in old China. The new generation is growing in America. China was the âinvisible worldâ for ~~most that was part of~~ the new generation. Kingston they never been there, but only hear stories about it. ~~America was solid, because~~ the new generation was adapting to new changes. Kingston wanted to uncover more of this Chinese cultural history.

            As an adult, Kingston starts to question if her aunt is really guilty~~, to commit such an act,~~ ~~which would lead to her own demise~~. Kingston searches for answers, because the stories only seem to confuse her. She did not fully understand the Chinese cultural as a child, because she is part of the new generation. This leads Kingston to form her own perspective of the story that her mother had told. She starts rewriting the story in her own words, and her own point of view. Kingston thinks:

âAdultery is extravagance. Could people who hatch their own chicks and eat the embryos and the heads for delicacies and boil the feet in vinegar for party food, leaving only the gravel, eating even the gizzard lining--could such people engender a prodigal aunt? To be a woman, to have a daughter in starvation time was a waste enough. My aunt could not have been the lone romantic who gave up everything for sex. Women in the old China did not choose. Some man had commanded her to lie with him and be his secret evil. I wonder whether he masked himself when he joined the raid on the family.â (326)

Adult Kingston does not believe that her aunt gave up everything for adultery. She questions, and thinks how cruel the villagers are towards the aunt. Kingston describes her aunt as a âprodigal auntâ ~~meaning she is yielding profusely~~. She questions, if a human being is capable of bringing a newborn to this world, and then getting rid of it without any remorse. She realizes that ~~in Chinese culture, woman had no right to rule, because they had to obey the rules set by the husband. We~~women in that time ~~of Chinese culture~~ did not have a choice because they had to obey their husbands. Kingston wonders if the man responsible for impregnating her aunt wasnât man enough to try to be responsible. She also believes the man might have been responsible for organizing the raid in the first place. Kingston, somehow wanted to defend her aunt. She tries to analyze the possible reasons behind her aunt's unwanted pregnancy~~, in~~ which dishonored her entire family.

            Kingston as an adult, finally realized her aunt was not fully guilty. The aunt ~~went through injustice, and~~ was the victim of rape. While the entire society rejected her aunt, Kingston honored her aunt instead. The motherâs aim was to warn young Kingston, not to humiliate the family by making the same mistake as her aunt did. The motherâs aim also had another purpose, in which she wanted to show the values of her culture, traditions, and making Kingston a better person in life~~, without any disruptions~~. Kingston as an adult reflects back on what she has learned from her mother, and her unnamed aunt. She has also discovered the world that was once invisible to her.

Help me please.

Anonymous — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 22:44:07 GMT

Ok... so basically I need to do a five paragraph essay (Paragraph model?) by analyzing 3 quotes from this a passage I read "No name woman" by Maxie Hong Kingston. I'm just having trouble with a few things... some I understand, and others I don't. I tried fixing some errors that I made.. (ie: spelling, grammar). This is just the a 2nd draft. I would apprcieate some help and tips. Thanks in advance!

This is what I need help with:

-Verb Tense

`Unpacking language of quotes -Introducing all quotes fully

-Run on sentences?

No Name Woman

Maxine Hong Kingston begins to learn the story of an aunt, in which she is known as âNo Name Womanâ. Kingstonâs mother begins in the first passage, warning her to not tell anyone what she is about to say, referring to the story of her aunt. She explains that the aunt was Kingstonâs fatherâs sister, who killed herself in the family well, but thereâs no mention of her at all, because it is as if she had never been born. The aunt brought shame to the family. She became a disgrace to the village, because the action of adultery committed. As a result of that, she ended up with an unwanted pregnancy. This caused so much commotion with the villagers, who were enraged, and raided the family house. The villagers destroyed and broke their possessions, wanting to get rid of the aunt from their community; because the villagers did not permit the coupleâs breaking tradition. As a child, Kingston did not fully understand the way of her Chinese culture. She starts making up her own stories. As an adult, Kingston looks back at her childhood years, to learn the identity of the story, and go deeper with her cultural history.

Roughly around the age of 12, Kingston starts receiving warnings, and semi-threats from her mother, to avoid any unwanted pregnancies. Kingstonâs mother sets the aunt as an example. The mother says:

"Don't let your father know that I told you. He denies her. Now that you have started to menstruate, what happened to her could happen to you. Don't humiliate us. You wouldn't like to be forgotten as if you had never been born. The villagers are watchful;" (325)

The mother warns young Kingston, and sets an example from the aunt who brought disgrace to the family. Kingston is being guided, not to fall in the wrong path as her aunt did. The mother warns her at this moment, because it is the moment Kingston goes into a new stage of life that she must go through carefully. The mother wants Kingston to learn the values of her culture, traditions, and the people she represents. She describes that the villagers are watching, because they are a community who stick together as a group. It is part of their culture, having private lives is a dishonor to the culture. The aunt dishonored it, by having a baby without any father present. The mother is preventing young Kingston from bring shame to the family again. Kingstonâs mother told stories

Adult Kingston remembers when her mother use to warn her about life, and the realities that existed. She would tell stories, to teach Kingston morals. Kingston explains:

âWhenever she had to warn us about life, my mother told stories that ran like this one, a story to grow up on. She tested our strength to establish realities. Those in the emigrant generations who could not reassert brute survival died young and far from home. Those of us in the first American generations have had to figure out how the invisible world the emigrants built around our childhoods fit in solid America.â (325)

Adult Kingston discusses about the emigrants who were struggling with poverty, and moved to America. This was the old generation, who struggled with surviving life. The emigrants re-assert themselves with the new life; some endure brute survival. Poverty was an issue in old China. The new generation is growing in America. China was the âinvisible worldâ for most that was part of the new generation. Kingston they never been there, but only hear stories about it. America was solid, because the new generation was adapting to new changes. Kingston wanted to uncover more of this Chinese cultural history.

As an adult, Kingston starts to question if her aunt is really guilty, to commit such an act, which would lead to her own demise. Kingston searches for answers, because the stories only seem to confuse her. She did not fully understand the Chinese cultural as a child, because she grew up in the new generation. This leads Kingston making up her own perspective of the story that her mother had told. She starts remaking the story in her own words, and her own point of view. Kingston thinks:

âAdultery is extravagance. Could people who hatch their own chicks and eat the embryos and the heads for delicacies and boil the feet in vinegar for party food, leaving only the gravel, eating even the gizzard lining--could such people engender a prodigal aunt? To be a woman, to have a daughter in starvation time was a waste enough. My aunt could not have been the lone romantic who gave up everything for sex. Women in the old China did not choose. Some man had commanded her to lie with him and be his secret evil. I wonder whether he masked himself when he joined the raid on the family.â (326)

Adult Kingston does not believe that her aunt gave up everything for adultery. She questions, how cruel the villagers are towards the aunt. Kingston describes her aunt as âprodigal auntâ meaning she is yielding profusely. She questions, if a human being is capable of bringing a newborn, and then getting rid of it without any remorse. She realizes that in Chinese culture, woman had no right to rule, because they had to obey the rules set by the husband. Women in that time of Chinese culture did not have a choice. Kingston wonders if the man responsible for impregnating her aunt wasnât man enough to take hold of his responsibilities. She also believes the man might have been responsible for organizing the raid in the first place. Kingston, somehow wanted to defend her aunt. She tries to analyze the possible reasons behind her aunt's unwanted pregnancy, in which dishonored her entire culture.

Kingston as an adult, finally realized her aunt was not fully guilty. The aunt went through injustice, and was the victim of rape. While the entire society rejected her aunt, Kingston honored her aunt instead. The motherâs aim was to warn young Kingston, not to humiliate the family by making the same mistake as her aunt did. The motherâs aim also had another purpose, in which she wanted to show the values of her culture, traditions, and making Kingston a better person in life, without any disruptions. Kingston as an adult reflects back on what she has learned from her mother, and her unnamed aunt. She also discovered the world that was once invisible to her.